Comments on: Motherhood: To Be or Not to Be, That is a Challenge http://lifeasmom.com/2009/05/motherhood-to-be-or-not-to-be-that-is.html On the Road to Joyful Motherhood Thu, 24 May 2012 05:56:06 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 By: Death Before Birth: Helping Others; What NOT to Say…) http://lifeasmom.com/2009/05/motherhood-to-be-or-not-to-be-that-is.html#comment-52687 Death Before Birth: Helping Others; What NOT to Say…) Sun, 20 Feb 2011 21:50:16 +0000 http://lifeasmom.net/2009/05/motherhood-to-be-or-not-to-be-that-is-a-challenge.html#comment-52687 [...] answer really depends on the person and the relationship you have with them. Life as Mom dealt with this topic this spring but I wanted to share with you from my experience in being the [...] [...] answer really depends on the person and the relationship you have with them. Life as Mom dealt with this topic this spring but I wanted to share with you from my experience in being the [...]

]]> By: HeatherC http://lifeasmom.com/2009/05/motherhood-to-be-or-not-to-be-that-is.html#comment-4571 HeatherC Wed, 06 May 2009 04:11:00 +0000 http://lifeasmom.net/2009/05/motherhood-to-be-or-not-to-be-that-is-a-challenge.html#comment-4571 This post last year is what made me a devoted reader..... I have 3 angel babies myself and I clearly remember the grief that I went through. It was important for me to be allowed "my" time to mourn. I think a lot of people wanted me to get over it quickly and it took me a while.... everyone grieves at their own pace and I suppose mine was slow. I really appreciated the friends and family who granted me as much time as I needed. This post last year is what made me a devoted reader….. I have 3 angel babies myself and I clearly remember the grief that I went through. It was important for me to be allowed “my” time to mourn. I think a lot of people wanted me to get over it quickly and it took me a while…. everyone grieves at their own pace and I suppose mine was slow. I really appreciated the friends and family who granted me as much time as I needed.

]]> By: Anonymous http://lifeasmom.com/2009/05/motherhood-to-be-or-not-to-be-that-is.html#comment-4570 Anonymous Wed, 06 May 2009 02:04:00 +0000 http://lifeasmom.net/2009/05/motherhood-to-be-or-not-to-be-that-is-a-challenge.html#comment-4570 I lost my mother last year in February and I had just started a new job so I knew no one very well. One girl, jeannie, let me talk and say just about anything I needed about my mom and she didn't complain once. We are good friends now. Little things would come up during the day and we would make jokes or laugh at something my mother might have done or said. I probably would be in a lot worse shape if it weren't for her. She will never know just how much she helped me at a difficult time. I love you Jeannie. I lost my mother last year in February and I had just started a new job so I knew no one very well. One girl, jeannie, let me talk and say just about anything I needed about my mom and she didn’t complain once. We are good friends now. Little things would come up during the day and we would make jokes or laugh at something my mother might have done or said. I probably would be in a lot worse shape if it weren’t for her. She will never know just how much she helped me at a difficult time. I love you Jeannie.

]]> By: Anonymous http://lifeasmom.com/2009/05/motherhood-to-be-or-not-to-be-that-is.html#comment-4565 Anonymous Tue, 05 May 2009 17:49:00 +0000 http://lifeasmom.net/2009/05/motherhood-to-be-or-not-to-be-that-is-a-challenge.html#comment-4565 I love this post as much this time around as I did last year. And your readers' heartfelt and moving comments have me in tears! I love Carla's reminder of the motherless daughters (and sons) in our midst. I love the idea of using Mother's Day as a day of giving and reaching out in compassion and love, not only to Mothers, but to those who may be hurting.<br /><br />MamaLibby I love this post as much this time around as I did last year. And your readers’ heartfelt and moving comments have me in tears! I love Carla’s reminder of the motherless daughters (and sons) in our midst. I love the idea of using Mother’s Day as a day of giving and reaching out in compassion and love, not only to Mothers, but to those who may be hurting.

MamaLibby

]]> By: Carla http://lifeasmom.com/2009/05/motherhood-to-be-or-not-to-be-that-is.html#comment-4564 Carla Tue, 05 May 2009 15:29:00 +0000 http://lifeasmom.net/2009/05/motherhood-to-be-or-not-to-be-that-is-a-challenge.html#comment-4564 A little different take on this, but I think it will be okay. I have never miscarried, or lost a child. But many years ago, a woman in our church died leaving a husband and a daughter around eleven years old. It was right before Mother's Day. The first Mother's Day without her mom I am sure was difficult. My husband invited them over after church for lunch on that Mother's day. I think I cooked lunch, but my husband and kids bought me a cake that was boxed like roses. It had Happy Mother's Day, so it was a definite reminder of the day. I felt like it was a bad idea to invite the widow and his daughter, but the invitation was already extended. We all had the best time, as it ended up! I am so glad my husband was wiser than me, and that they joined us. As I look back, I think it helped them. What if they had gone home to an empty house? What if they had gone out to eat, and saw all the others at the restaurant with their mom. I know it must have been on their hearts while at our home, but in this case, I think it lessened the pain at least a little, for a short time.<br />Carla A little different take on this, but I think it will be okay. I have never miscarried, or lost a child. But many years ago, a woman in our church died leaving a husband and a daughter around eleven years old. It was right before Mother’s Day. The first Mother’s Day without her mom I am sure was difficult. My husband invited them over after church for lunch on that Mother’s day. I think I cooked lunch, but my husband and kids bought me a cake that was boxed like roses. It had Happy Mother’s Day, so it was a definite reminder of the day. I felt like it was a bad idea to invite the widow and his daughter, but the invitation was already extended. We all had the best time, as it ended up! I am so glad my husband was wiser than me, and that they joined us. As I look back, I think it helped them. What if they had gone home to an empty house? What if they had gone out to eat, and saw all the others at the restaurant with their mom. I know it must have been on their hearts while at our home, but in this case, I think it lessened the pain at least a little, for a short time.
Carla

]]> By: Gina http://lifeasmom.com/2009/05/motherhood-to-be-or-not-to-be-that-is.html#comment-4563 Gina Tue, 05 May 2009 14:32:00 +0000 http://lifeasmom.net/2009/05/motherhood-to-be-or-not-to-be-that-is-a-challenge.html#comment-4563 I miscarried in between my 2 boys while it seemed that everyone around me was pregnant. I even met 2 different women who had the same due date that I would have had within 2 weeks of that date. It was nice that people let me talk about it without being awkward toward me. As for loving others, the lady who watches my little guys when I need to actually go out to work (I work mostly from home) was never able to have children. She delights in being a part-time mommy to the little ones she cares for in her home and does a wonderful job with them. We are going to bring her a bouquet of flowers this weekend to help her celebrate Mother's Day. I think she's just as much a mom as the rest of us! I miscarried in between my 2 boys while it seemed that everyone around me was pregnant. I even met 2 different women who had the same due date that I would have had within 2 weeks of that date. It was nice that people let me talk about it without being awkward toward me. As for loving others, the lady who watches my little guys when I need to actually go out to work (I work mostly from home) was never able to have children. She delights in being a part-time mommy to the little ones she cares for in her home and does a wonderful job with them. We are going to bring her a bouquet of flowers this weekend to help her celebrate Mother’s Day. I think she’s just as much a mom as the rest of us!

]]> By: Elizabeth Sue http://lifeasmom.com/2009/05/motherhood-to-be-or-not-to-be-that-is.html#comment-4562 Elizabeth Sue Tue, 05 May 2009 14:13:00 +0000 http://lifeasmom.net/2009/05/motherhood-to-be-or-not-to-be-that-is-a-challenge.html#comment-4562 Thank you for this post. As you know, I had two miscarriages in fourth months. Then was diagnosed with a mild form of factor 5 (blood clotting disorder in pregnancy) and PCOS. Because I have a two year old, people constantly reminded me "atleast you have a baby, some have none." It was very painful to hear because it was like people were telling me to not be sad or I didn't have a right to be sad. We still want more children and Lord willing we will have more now that we know what could be causing this problem. So the only thing I could think to add to this conversation is to ask readers to please remember when talking to someone who is encountering secondary infertility, to please be kind and not shove in her face she already has a child. Secondary infertility is painful too. I remember telling my dental tech that was cleaning my teeth I had just miscarried and had a d&c. She asked how far along I was, when I told her 6 weeks, she said, "that is nothing, my cousin lost her baby at nine months." I felt so crushed. While yes, it is beyond painful to think about someone loosing a baby at nine months (or ever for that matter) it is not "nothing" to have a miscarriage. I guess what I am fumbling to say is, we as women need to support and listen to each other more and ultimately show compassion reguardless of the situation the mother faces in her journery of motherhood. Thank you for this post. As you know, I had two miscarriages in fourth months. Then was diagnosed with a mild form of factor 5 (blood clotting disorder in pregnancy) and PCOS. Because I have a two year old, people constantly reminded me "atleast you have a baby, some have none." It was very painful to hear because it was like people were telling me to not be sad or I didn't have a right to be sad. We still want more children and Lord willing we will have more now that we know what could be causing this problem. So the only thing I could think to add to this conversation is to ask readers to please remember when talking to someone who is encountering secondary infertility, to please be kind and not shove in her face she already has a child. Secondary infertility is painful too. I remember telling my dental tech that was cleaning my teeth I had just miscarried and had a d&c. She asked how far along I was, when I told her 6 weeks, she said, "that is nothing, my cousin lost her baby at nine months." I felt so crushed. While yes, it is beyond painful to think about someone loosing a baby at nine months (or ever for that matter) it is not "nothing" to have a miscarriage. I guess what I am fumbling to say is, we as women need to support and listen to each other more and ultimately show compassion reguardless of the situation the mother faces in her journery of motherhood.

]]> By: sheila howe http://lifeasmom.com/2009/05/motherhood-to-be-or-not-to-be-that-is.html#comment-4559 sheila howe Tue, 05 May 2009 13:11:00 +0000 http://lifeasmom.net/2009/05/motherhood-to-be-or-not-to-be-that-is-a-challenge.html#comment-4559 I wish that we lived closer so that you could bring on over one of those great meals! I would not feel it's charity. :) Thanks for your post. I wish that we lived closer so that you could bring on over one of those great meals! I would not feel it’s charity. :) Thanks for your post.

]]> By: Kimberly http://lifeasmom.com/2009/05/motherhood-to-be-or-not-to-be-that-is.html#comment-4557 Kimberly Tue, 05 May 2009 11:50:00 +0000 http://lifeasmom.net/2009/05/motherhood-to-be-or-not-to-be-that-is-a-challenge.html#comment-4557 I also have a Heaven baby, but I am also blessed to have a wonderful son here on earth. I also have a few friends who are in that struggling stage of desperately wanting to be a mother. I try to be sympathetic to their feelings, and not complain about situations that they only wish they could be in. My prayer each day is that the Lord answer this prayer for them. Thanks for reminding us to be compassionate to those who long to be a Mother on this up-coming Mother's day. I also have a Heaven baby, but I am also blessed to have a wonderful son here on earth. I also have a few friends who are in that struggling stage of desperately wanting to be a mother. I try to be sympathetic to their feelings, and not complain about situations that they only wish they could be in. My prayer each day is that the Lord answer this prayer for them. Thanks for reminding us to be compassionate to those who long to be a Mother on this up-coming Mother’s day.

]]> By: Jenn @ Beautiful Calling http://lifeasmom.com/2009/05/motherhood-to-be-or-not-to-be-that-is.html#comment-4556 Jenn @ Beautiful Calling Tue, 05 May 2009 11:07:00 +0000 http://lifeasmom.net/2009/05/motherhood-to-be-or-not-to-be-that-is-a-challenge.html#comment-4556 I lost Isaiah before I had any childrn. I was just into the 'safe zone' at 15 weeks.<br />I am planning on doing a post about him sometime this month in hopes of helping someone get through it.<br />There are so many sweet unborn babies up in Heaven!<br />These are good thoughts! I lost Isaiah before I had any childrn. I was just into the ‘safe zone’ at 15 weeks.
I am planning on doing a post about him sometime this month in hopes of helping someone get through it.
There are so many sweet unborn babies up in Heaven!
These are good thoughts!

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