Sometime last week, hubs and I were sharing a quiet moment, lying in our room, talking. The kids were doing whatever. Happy and “quiet for the moment” was all that mattered. He turned to me and said, “Should I call room service?”

I burst out laughing. “That is not the life we chose,” I quipped.

And it’s not. I’m not sure that we ever would have had the room service kind of life, even if we hadn’t had kids. I’d probably have stayed in teaching. He’d have stayed a general contractor. We probably never would have left Santa Barbara, his hometown. And with those occupations, living in Santa Barbara, room service probably would not have been an option.

Instead, we chose a home-based life. My work, whether paid or not, has been at home for 16+ years. His work, though it takes him away for the day, allows him to come home by 3pm every day. And he does. There aren’t things that he’d rather do. He wants to be home.

We’ve moved, from Santa Barbara to Paso Robles to Kansas City to San Diego, all in the hopes of building a better home for us and for our kids. Not a better house; remember we rent.

But a better home.

This weekend I watched an 80’s teen movie with my big boys, a film I once thought was fabulous. It was full of your typical broken-home scenarios and kids yearning for love and acceptance. The bad language made me feel that it wasn’t worth the time spent watching it, but it was a poignant reminder: Home is not boring, despite what the world would tell us.

Building a home, a secure place where we know we’re loved, where our kids know they are loved, that is priceless. It’s worth fighting for. It’s worth giving up things for. It’s worth our investment.

Home is where we are. Home is where I want to be. I choose home.

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  1. I love this. My husband and I often have the same conversation. We too have moved to different parts of the country trying to make that better home for our family, and I also stay at home with my boys. We do not take the extravagant couples’ vacations or go out for nice dinners on the town. Mainly because of finances, but I love spending time and playing with my boys. Something so many parents do not seem to do anymore. I would love to have extra money to spend on clothes and what not, but I wouldn’t sacrifice the time away from my kids.

  2. Kathy in Illinois says:

    Such a touching story, Jessica. You and Fishpapa did the right thing. You both are meant to have your 6 children. I was touched by you saying your husband wants to come home after work. Our life was the same. I was a teacher but stayed home and raised 2 children. My husband worked and always came home afterwards because he wanted to. He is now retired and the kids are gone, but they love coming home to the peaceful place they grew up. God bless you and your family. It’s a joy reading your blog. I still think Fishchick5 is the cutest little girl. She reminds me of my daughter.
    God bless, Kathy in Illinois

  3. You know, there are some great 80’s movies with great messages and characters that really got me through my growing up years and that I have great memories of. Today, I hesitate to show them to my kids because they ALL have bad language in them. I didn’t remember them being so bad and then I remembered, when we were kids these movies would be “edited for television.” I wish they would still do that.

  4. printing this one out:)

  5. You know, that old notion that if you say a lie enough times people will believe it’s true? That’s what those movies are! They would have us believe that every teen is troubled, every family broken. But they aren’t.

    Good, strong families don’t make for drama or dollars. But they do something for character, self respect and morals. We need more families to come forward as role models, so that the trend of the stereotype is reversed. Bless you all.

  6. Oh my this was just perfect!! I’ve been feeling pretty stressed out lately. Just almost depressed that our situation is what it is, that we always seem to be behind money-wise and never get ahead. I know deep down that being home is best for my family but its hard sometimes to just be content with being without when the world around you seems to be enjoying life a lot better than you can. Sometimes its almost suffocating.

    • Dana, you are so right! We all feel that way sometimes. But I guarantee you, the supposed “haves” have troubles and worries that would make your hair turn white and curl!

      …Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

    • Hang in there. Take a deep breath. Write a list of things to be thankful for. That always helps me. :)

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