The Weekly Ramble 9/3/23

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I sense a theme coming on with these weekly rambles. I’m exhausted by the time I get to the end of the week. Every week.

jessica wearing a green baseball cap.

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In past seasons that would be cause for alarm. Like… “What’s wrong with me?!” However, I’m learning new and better ways and it’s kinda exciting.

My therapist suggests that I observe things as if I were watching them from a train window. I love train travel so this is an idea I can get behind. You can watch things out the window as the train passes by, but you don’t have to get involved.

Normally, I like to puzzle things out, to make them make sense. I’m learning that not everything has to make sense. I can watch it unfold and then move on, like a train does as it passes through.

So, yes, I’ve been tired at the end of each week every week. My logical brain has some very good reasons for this:

  • ours is a busy household – even though 3/5 of the kids living in it are 18+, there are still lots of things to manage

  • I’m running a home business while also managing a household and overseeing two kids in homeschool

  • this is back-to-school season – I forget that it wears me out, every year.

  • we’ve been house hunting after living in the same home for 14 years – a lot has changed in the housing market over that time, so it makes sense that this would be a wild experience

  • all the kids have been sick with the first cold/flu of the season, and yesterday I got it, too. Ugh. It is the worst, and I’m having flashbacks to when I had covid.

  • the current house had a leak in the attic that dripped into our bedroom that needed to be tended to – It’s all fixed, but it involved phone calls, repairmen, and little sleep due to the drip, drip, drip all night long

  • I’m anemic, hyperthyroid, and perimenopausal – enough said?

Whew. I’m tired just listing those things out!

And, no, I didn’t just observe those things, I did puzzle them out. But, the difference is that I’m not judging myself for being exhausted.

Anyone would be tired out by any combination of those circumstances, so what I can do is give myself some grace. Not judge myself. Take care of myself.

And know that this, too, shall pass…. like the scenes outside the train window.

boys with backpacks boarding the Eurostar in Pancras station.

At the Crossing

We have arrived at a crossing so to speak. Two months ago, we knew we were moving, but we didn’t know where. This left a lot of unknowns: what to keep, what to ditch, what will every day look like.

Due to the location of our current home in a seaside city and where the colleges are further inland, our home search spanned a fairly wide stretch of North County San Diego. We could have landed in any of 6 towns.

We signed the lease on our new home on Wednesday so our destination is now clearer. We took the kids to see it on Tuesday which felt a little momentous.

I know, we’re “just renting”. But still. We didn’t know that this rental would become our kids’ childhood home, but it did. I look at the new house as our potential launching pad for kids moving into adulthood.

Bryan prefers the analogy of a movie set. Where we live is the setting for the action of this next season of our life with (mostly) adult children.

In July when we told the kids we were moving, I framed it as our going on a big adventure, not dissimilar to when we took them to France for a month or a whirlwind tour of Great Britain.

We didn’t know exactly what we were doing, but we knew we’d be together and make some memories!

I think once we signed the lease, all the cells in my body just said, “We’re done. Enjoy this sore throat and achiness for the long weekend.”

I realize that I need to pace myself over the next month as we pack up and move everything to the new house and then get this place spic and span.

Getting sick now means we’ll be fine for the rest of the month, right?

I’m working out how to Systemate the move and will share that next week. I am really loving the delegate portion of the process. lol! Someone else is going to come wash all the windows, screens, and tracks!

Even amid this cold/flu, I still have so much to be thankful for. I was really excited to find this list I made two months ago.

Bryan and I created it via phone and text the day we found out we were moving, but we didn’t really LOOK at the list again until after we’d signed the lease.

This new house ticks all the boxes, right down to herbs and fruit already growing in the backyard!

God is good, and I’m really thankful for where we are. Even if my throat hurts.

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