Trusting God to Keep Our Children Safe

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Do you worry about your children’s safety? Life as MOM contributor Deanna shares how she deals with the anxiety she experiences in keeping her children safe.

Trusting God to Keep Our Children Safe | LifeasMOM.com

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Something that I have really struggled with lately is trusting God to keep my children safe.

Every time I log onto Facebook, there’s another post about a child randomly dying or getting seriously injured while doing a rather innocent activity.

  • We have had an issue with Addison (4 1/2, Down syndrome) starting to run and escape- putting herself into the line of danger.
  • My seven month old (Eli) is at a very vulnerable age where he crawls everywhere and puts everything in his mouth.
  • My two year old (Carter) is a daredevil who is always testing the boundaries and limits.

There are days when I spend all day keeping my mind ahead ten paces- imagining Eli putting some plastic into his mouth and choking, worrying that Addison has escaped into the street (again), fearing that Carter is one handstand away from an ER visit. When we go to the pool, beach, or out on an exploratory adventure, my anxiety rises.

So many things could go wrong.

Sometimes I feel like every time I turn around one of them is getting into/doing something they should not be doing. I teach. I pull them away. I put up new boundaries. I keep the house baby crawling friendly and making-it-impossible-to-escape for toddlers. I buy floaties for water activities. I teach some more.

But some days I feel like it just isn’t enough.

Trusting God to Keep Our Children Safe | LifeasMOM.com

You know that the Bible doesn’t promise us that our kids will stay safe and healthy? Or even alive? There’s no scripture you can hold onto that says “If you love Jesus, He will sustain the life of your child…and keep them happy and healthy. Amen.” This passage does not exist.

I have watched my sister lose a child. I have had a baby born with severe health problems and a diagnosis of Down syndrome. Sometimes I feel like these experiences have taken away my ability to choose hope over anxiety when it comes to the health and safety of my children.

I have lived the reality that sometimes you beg God for health and safety- and sometimes He says “no.” Does this mean that God isn’t still good? Does this mean that he stopped watching out for our kids? No and no.

It just means that we are not the ones in control. We can hope and pray, baby and toddler proof, but ultimately the lives and safety of our children do not lie in our hands. As a new mom, this concept has been a hard one for me to swallow.

Sometimes this means for me:

  1. I stay off of Facebook. I just DON’T read those articles of a dozen worst case scenarios happening around the world that day. My anxiety cannot handle it. My husband often tells me that the Internet was the worst thing to happen to me (for this very reason).
  2. I plan ahead. For me this meant getting a GPS tag for my daughter’s ankle. A safe zone plan in each room for the crawling baby (as well as extra sweeping and vacuuming). And I try to do all of my hot dish/boiling water cooking while my eager to help two year old is either asleep or when Daddy is home to keep little fingers away from danger.
  3. I ask for help. My nerves are just shot trying to watch three young children every second of every day. I cannot do this myself. And while I can get an aide for my daughter to give me some hours every week for our adventures out, the biggest person that I am begging help from is my Heavenly Father. He IS the one in control. I know I can trust him even when my anxiety and doubts argue with this trust. I can trust him. He is bigger than my anxiety.

I told my husband the other day that I wished that they were all just a little bit older and easier to keep safe. He very kindly pointed out to me that with each new phase, there will be new areas of danger- new potential accidents waiting to happen. And while this didn’t help with the anxiety, I realized that he was right.

This issue isn’t permission to wish the next five years away. This issue is one that will always be with me in different forms. The only resolution to this issue is to trust a sovereign God. Just one day- one activity- one child at a time.

deanna

Deanna is passionate about special needs advocacy and new motherhood- two things that go hand in hand for her right now. Three kids four and under, the oldest of which has Down syndrome- keeps her quite busy. But there’s always enough time left at the end of the day to write all about the insanity at her blog Everything and Nothing from Essex. And to laugh- always, always there is time to laugh.

Technically labeled a “special” mother, Deanna really finds nothing special about herself. Truly, special needs parenting is just about taking it one day at a time- enjoying the highs, sloughing through the lows, and stumbling through the mundane while drinking too much coffee. Read all of Deanna’s posts here.

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9 Comments

  1. I am from Canada and struggle with Gods plan for our kids. I get it he is working things in behind the scenes but as the one women mentioned having to keep weapons so their kids are not stolen or worse. I fear for our kids and to trust a God that lets this crap happen. I mean to me what is the point of all of this. I do not know his plan and I want God in my life but what kind of God let’s this stuff happen to humans from other humans. Satan at work we’ll who crates Satan and let him loose.

    1. You’re asking some big questions, Lan, questions that believers have wondered about for centuries, I imagine. I don’t have all the answers, but I know that the more I read and study the Bible, the bigger my faith becomes. I do a local Community Bible Study. They are available in Canada as well. This year we’re all studying the book of John. Maybe it’s something you’d be interested in?

  2. I’m sure this article is old. I don’t know. I do know that God brought me here and I wanted to reach out to you, a fellow Mom and Christian.

    I just enrolled my 4-year old in school for the first time. 6 months pregnant with my third son, I am a chronic OCD, anxiety, PTSD sufferer who has been on medication since I was 9 years old. Guess who can’t take any of the medications I desperately need to get through each day while pregnant? Yep, me. Anyway, back to enrolling my son in school. My oldest boy, my sunshine and absolutely love of my life, is thriving there. He loves his teacher, his friends, and learning. He is doing so well that he has started kindergarten lessons already and I couldn’t be prouder.

    Since he has started school, there have been eleven school shootings somewhere in America. ELEVEN. The most recent was yesterday. And each time one happens, I go into panic mode. I pray obsessively over my babies, contemplate homeschooling, and cry every night in the dark in fear of dropping him off at school the next day. I beg God with all I have to just keep them safe. To keep the evil away. To let it happen anywhere else, anytime, but not involving my kids.

    I don’t know how to trust God with everything. I say I do. I pray like I do. But when it comes to my children, I am terrified. I, too, wish so desperately that there WAS a promise in the Bible from Him, promising to keep them from all harm always. I struggle even as a Christian for 25 years to trust my sovereign God with my children’s safety AND with my sanity. Because it is my sanity that is suffering right now. It is me having panic attacks every day, it is me crying silently after dropping off my baby at school, and it is me struggling not to keep him home every single day just so I will know he is safe.

    I don’t know if you can relate. But if you can, in any capacity, I would love to talk to you about how you cope. God bless you.

    1. Hi Rebecca. I can definitely relate. Even though I homeschool, Thursday’s shooting has affected me in a profound way. That was MY high school. While I graduated from there almost 30 years ago, the campus is basically the same place. I can picture the quad. I spent hours there every day for four years. And I get seized by fear and emotion every time I see a picture of the school.

      Ultimately, for me, what this most recent event has proven is that we HAVE TO trust God. This boy was a boy scout, for heaven sake. There appear to have been no warnings. No reason. To me, that says it’s a sin issue. The world is a fallen place. The only one we can trust is God.

      That said, I know it’s easier to say than to actually do. Psalm 3 has brought me a lot of comfort these last few months, particularly verses 5 to 8. I repeat them to myself and pray like crazy when I’m afraid.

      I wish I could say something that would make you feel better. I do believe that God will not waste anything and more and more am convinced that He wants us to pray more. Through that, I think He will strengthen us. I’m praying for you. Feel free to write again.

  3. Hey, I Have no idea how old this post is but I needed t read it today. My Little girl is now one year old the stress of keeping her safe is has put a strain om my relationship with God. I even stopped praying because I know that he will did not promise to keep his children from harm in this life. I cant turn to Him to keep her safe.
    I live In South Africa where we build high walls and sleep with weapons under our pillows. Where choking is not the number one fear but violent crimes against children including rape, abduction and mutilation.

    I struggle with this concept of being a Christian and loving God but feeling helpless without His help. It is the first time in my life that I know I cant Trust in Him and I don’t know how to re-calibrate by faith.

    1. I’m praying for your, Christa. I know how hard it is to trust when you know God allows bad things. However, I am confident that God does have good purposes for all things, even when we can’t see them or understand His ways. Just this week I came to the conclusion that I have no choice but to trust God. I certainly can’t control much on my own. Trusting Him puts me close to Him and helps me face the hard when it comes. I am praying that He will lift up your head.

  4. I can definitely relate to what you wrote here, especially when my children were younger. I now have teenagers, and your husband is right; the dangers just change as the years go by – they don’t disappear. What helped me overcome my almost obsessive fear was realizing two things; 1. God loves my children even more than I do. He is good, and I need to trust in that alone. 2. Fear, worry, and anxiety are sinful because it means that we are trusting in ourselves, not in Him. I love the reminder and the wisdom of this post. Thanks so much for sharing!

  5. Great post, and your husband is wise. My oldest is 22 and living in CA … I live in MA. She is no longer at an age or in a place I can protect her .. but, I believe that God has a plan for her life. So I pray that God helps her to realize and fulfill his plan for her … selfishly, I hope that means she is alive for many, many years!

  6. Such a great post. Thank you for the reminder. I struggle with wanting to do everything perfectly to keep my kids safe. I need to remember though that it still isn’t a guarantee and God is always in control. Trust. So easy to say but so hard to remember when I need.