Finding Your Bearings

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Love cup

Lately, I’ve dug into at least three books that address priorities. Respectively these books address productivity, organization, and caring for the people you love. They are diverse books, yet the hone in on the same thing: what’s, or more importantly, who’s important to you and how do you give those people your best.

This is the challenge of my life as mom. To make sure that the people I value most know it and feel it. That my choices and actions are guided by love for my family, not love for myself.

I don’t have any brilliant answers, I’m still plugging away at these books, journaling my thoughts, and trying to make sense of it all.

But, I pose the question(s) to you:

  • How do you find your bearings?
  • How do you let love guide you?
  • What’s an area of life that you struggle with these things?
  • How are you seeing success?

I’d love to chat about this in the comments. Join me?

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  1. I’d love to hear your book list. This is an area that I’m floundering in right now as I am in a land of littles with lots of energy while I don’t have much trying to keep up. : ) I am so blessed, but inspiration in this area is always a good thing!

    1. I think the book that most speaks to our discussion is Real Love for Real Life by Andi Ashworth. It’s a little slow at first, but the reviews are so good that I pushed through. I have lots of pages dogeared.

  2. I have been mentoring women for the past ten years. Many have lives crumbling down around them. I encourage them to read and meditate on one chapter in the Bible a day, starting off with Ephesians, Philippians, or Colossians. Then keep a journal and list 5 to 10 things they are thankful for every day for joy comes out of a thankful heart. Just helping them to grow in their faith and walk with Jesus helps them accept their circumstances much better and loving others just the way they are helps change them into better people, including husbands and children

    1. I love the idea of the thankfulness log. I know from experience that it is so compelling and convicting. Thanks for sharing your recs!

  3. I too would love to know what books you are reading on this. This is an area I struggle with and could use some guidance.

  4. I actually have more of a problem not loving my self enough and giving to much to everyone else. Then I become tired, angry and bitter. It’s a vicious cycle. My husband is awesome and gives me free time on the weekend and that helps. I also do things for me like church choir, exercising in the mornings.

  5. I think you’re talking about wisdom…and that’s a difficult thing to learn. LOL Proverbs is one of the best books to get wisdom.

    One thing I’ve learned over years when I was terribly ill: taking care of your health is something you do for others. Exercising, eating well, sleeping enough, and taking time to laugh and be refreshed are crucial to having energy and a loving attitude, as Jennie pointed out. Yes, you can do such things out of self-love, but they are also part of our love to God and our family.

    I think you learn how you’re doing by watching your family. But smiling at them, looking them in the eye, patting them on the back, hugging them…those all make a difference. And, of course, feeding them!

  6. I struggle every day to keep my sanity. I have a handicapped daughter who is 34 years old. Her mentality is that of a 9 year old. I am unemployed and on disability myself. I try very hard to keep everything together everyday. But some days are really hard to cope with. I try to save money every place that I can. So I do not go out too much cause of the cost of gas. Plus I’d probably spend money I do not have. I have gone to a debt consolidation company to help me get out of debt with my credit cards that I had to live on for over a year till I could get disability. I am so happy to be able to communicate on the internet with other moms. I know that some will understand. I have a very BFF. She is my life line. I appreciate her and her husband everyday. Thanks for listening.

  7. Find my bearings? Turn off the computer, the radio, the tv, and don’t read any newspapers. My kids fondly call this Momma’s Amish mode (my great grandmother was Amish, grandpa never joined the faith.) for a week and then limit it to 15 min 4 times a day ( I have pretty much given tv up completely, I get my weather off the internet and call it a day)

    How do I left love guide me? If I don’t love myself I can’t love anyone else. So I pray that GOD will help me forgive myself so I can love myself. I remind myself repeatedly that GOD loves me and I am special in his eyes. That he looked at this world on the 6th day and said it was GOOD…and I can in no way do better than HIM.

    What area do I struggle the most? BEING a woman instead of acting like a machine that doesn’t have any physical needs let alone emotional and spiritual needs.

    How am I seeing success? I am sleeping after not sleeping more than 3 hrs for decades, I am sleeping 10 hrs a day.(doc said don’t worry about how much that is because I have been deprived for so long). I am not tired, bored, negative in thoughts and actions during the day.

    1. Great input. You always have such meat in your comments. Love that. So fascinating about the sleep. Did something change to allow you to sleep more?

  8. I’m having trouble with Middle School. I had the cutest baby ever and now he is in Middle School and still cute . . . with massive attitude! It’s like he woke up one morning a young man . . .

    I’m having trouble with “attachment parenting” a almost 12 year old boy! That is my struggle!

    I find peace in knowing that I put the time in during the first 12 years so hopefully our strong foundation based on love, respect and honesty will carry us through.

    I do welcome any and all suggestions . . . he is my first and I have a long line of kids coming up the puberty line!

    Be Blessed.

    1. Hang in there! I’m only knee deep right now, but I will eventually have four teens at once…. for quite some time. LOL. The thing I’m learning is that respect and perspective taking are huge. When I acknowledge my son’s point of view, esp before he’s had to voice it, the walls break down and we can really talk.

  9. The center of my life is my husband and children and I find joy in taking care of them. However, I am struggling with something right now. My 10yo is having trouble with her weight and diabetes runs in my husband’s family. It is vital we keep her weight under control to stave off the onset diabetes. Cooking a healthy diet is no problem. Ensuring she gets the necessary amount of exercise is not so easy. I loathe organized sports and exercise routines. I can clean house all day, but don’t ask me to take a 30-minute walk to nowhere. The doctor wants her to have a minimum of 60 minutes of strenuous exercise per day including 30 minutes of aerobics. I do not think it will be too hard once summer arrives since we all love to swim and there is a community pool just a block from the house. But in the meantime, I have to figure out how to squeeze in 60 minutes of exercise between getting home from work at 5 and a 9 pm bedtime with dinner, homework and running kids to and from Girl Scouts, choir practice, piano lessons, etc. in between!

    1. I’d ask the doc what he thinks about the 30 day shred — if you take it slowly. It’s a 20 minute workout that is pretty intense. I have no idea if it’s okay for kids. But, it’s definitely a workout and 20 minutes is a great start. Don’t feel like you have to do all or nothing. Ramp up to 60.