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How to be Kinder to Yourself

Hey Mama, might be time to lighten up! On yourself. Consider these wise words from Life as MOM contributor, Prerna.

how to be kinder to yourself

Confession: I beat myself up internally each time I forget my daughter’s homework project.

I experience pangs of guilt when I see {or hear about!} the gorgeous lunches packed by other Moms at school.

And I’m quick to judge myself when I get a manicure at the salon.

Yes, this being kinder to myself is something I struggle with and this post, therefore, is more a note to self than anything else.

Why Do We Need to Be Kinder to Ourselves?

  • When you’re kinder, you’re happier. And we all know that happy moms make happy families.
  • When you’re kinder, you have more grace for those around you and that is a lovely thing to do.
  • When you’re kinder to yourself, you can truly savor and enjoy your life’s season.

Here are 3 things that I’m doing to go easy on myself and appreciate all that I do:

1. Remind Myself of the Bigger Picture

When my inner critic gets really vocal, I try to look at the bigger picture. Am I fulfilling my role as a Mama and sure my lunches may not look Pinterest-worthy but are they healthy and nourishing?

I may forget her homework but do I make memories with her everyday by baking, singing silly songs as we hang the laundry or simply snuggling up with her as she recounts her day.

The bigger picture reminds you that the only thing you may not be doing is living up to what the world outside expects of you. So long as your family is loved, nourished, taken care of, you’re doing a good job.

planning to do lists

2. Scale Back Where I Can

Sometimes, being kinder to myself involves saying “no” so that I don’t run myself ragged and compromise where I don’t want to, like making dinner instead of organizing reading committees for the neighborhood ladies.

So, in the spirit of kindness, I decline. I also don’t take on work projects that would involve sacrificing a family holiday. Does that mean I lose out on social popularity or a bit of money? Yes it does. But it doesn’t matter.

Because kindness to ourselves trumps all of that.

3. Review My Day and Pray for Grace

Finally, at the end of every day, before I drift off to sleep snuggled next to my little girl, I review my day and smile about all the little joys. I also say a little prayer for grace for myself for the next day.

Do YOU struggle with being kind to your self too?

More from Prerna:

Prerna smallGourmet content chef, author of the Content Cookbook and community manager for time-starved entrepreneurs and bloggers, Prerna Malik, along with her husband Mayank, infuses online communities with sugar, spice and everything nice… for a small business. Grab her FREE social media and copywriting goodies here!

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Comments

  1. This is very timely. It is hard to do everything and wear all the hats that comes with having a family, I fact it is impossible 😉
    I have a large family with children 16yrs and under & we had twins in November. Scaling back was the BEST thing I have ever done, for me and for the family. I still have a serious case of mommy brain and forget important things (much to the dismay of my kids). I know it won’t get better anytime soon, so I am working hard to let it go, and give myself a bit of grace when I screw up. My older kids are really starting to spread their wings, and I know my time with them at home is coming to an end. I am working hard to savor these days and really let go of any guilt, these days go by too quickly.

    • Sounds like you are in a good place. Remember it takes awhile to find a new groove after a baby. Double that with twins. And maybe be honest with your older kids about finding the new normal. They’ll get you.

  2. I can relate to all these, and think they are helpful. I like the first one especially- “Remind myself of the bigger picture.” Sometimes I can let one or two missed things seem important when it’s not essential to the big picture. And I have to remember not to be too task oriented at times, but relationship oriented. Sometimes, that means playing a game or reading together instead of the “to-dos.”
    And covering it all in grace… that’s the best part. 🙂

    • Yes. All that. I have one little guy struggling with a lot of things. I’m finding that I need to be building him up daily in order to equip him to deal with his struggles. Taking that time is so much more important than if the laundry gets done.

Thanks so much for participating in this conversation about "a mom's life."

This is a place where moms can be themselves. Remember that each mother's path looks a little different. Please keep your comments respectful and kind. Reasonable minds will disagree in a nice way.

So let's talk about it, using "our big girl words."

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