How to be a More Patient Mom
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Do you want to be a more patient mom? Here are five habits to cultivate that will bless you and your family.
This post is written by Life as MOM contributor, Prerna:
It seemed to take forever. I sighed audibly, shook my head, checked my wrist watch, tossed my bag with a thud on the table and sighing again, bent down to help my then, 6-year old with her shoelaces.
It was then that I noticed.
She didn’t look at me. She looked away. She looked scared, defeated and also, just so little.
Her hesitant, almost-worried, “Sorry, Mama for making you late” hit me like the proverbial ton of bricks. This is not what I wanted. She wasn’t “making me late”.
She was being 6. Learning, struggling, trying to be independent.
It hit me that while I’d assumed that I was quite a patient mom, I clearly needed to do some work on that. I know my personality type {ISFJ on the Myers-Briggs} thrives on deadlines and being productive. But I’m mama to a little girl who’s still figuring the world around her and she deserves to do that at her pace, not mine.
I’m, like many of us, a work-in-progress and so, here are the small, easy-to-make yet powerful-in-impact habit changes that have helped me breathe more patience into my mama self.
5 Easy-to-Adopt Habits to be a More Patient Mom
As we head into a season of busyness with travel, parties and more thrown in, let these little habits help you breathe more patience into your days, especially if you have little people around.
1. Remind myself
I remind myself that she’s 6, or now 7. To expect her to breeze through things that are totally new to her is unfair and not something I want to do. I want her to enjoy learning, exploring and discovering.
My rushing her or worse, doing things for her is only going to crush that sweet little independent spirit. I remind myself that she needs to do this and that we’ll get there. I offer to help but respect her wishes when she says “I can do it, Mama.”
2. Take a deep breath {or 5}
I no longer sigh audibly or shake my head impatiently. Instead, I take a deep, belly breath and find that it instantly calms me. If I find myself feeling fidgety {yes that happens!}, I walk around the house and get other things ready, like locking up the windows and doors, or checking my wallet, while waiting.
And yes, breathe.
3. Put away my phone
I noticed I found myself snapping and pushing and rushing when I was checking my email, responding to a message and waiting for my little one to finish what she was doing. Putting away the phone has helped me put away my cranky pants too. Try it. It really works.
4. Be kind… to myself
Honestly, I still rush her at times. But way less than earlier and it shows. She smiles and giggles as she tells me that I’m rushing her. That helps me be kind to myself and not beat myself up over pushing her to finish her cereal so we can meet the school bus on time.
I also have made self-care a priority. When I’m refreshed and taking good care of myself, I have a greater supply of patience to draw on.
5. Plan for patience
This has been very effective. I plan on being patient and I do that by giving myself buffer time for our most rushed times. Think, school mornings, doctor’s appointments, catching a flight!
Allowing margin time lets my little girl have a patient mama while this ISFJ doesn’t pop a vein because of a delay. Win-win!
Do you struggle with patience? What works for you?
What helps YOU be a more patient mom?
Related Reading:
- How to be Kinder to Yourself
- Dear Mom Who Doesn’t
- 9 Ways to Just Keep Calm
Gourmet content chef, author of the Content Cookbook and community manager for time-starved entrepreneurs and bloggers, Prerna Malik, along with her husband Mayank, infuses online communities with sugar, spice and everything nice… for a small business.
Grab her FREE social media and copywriting goodies here!
#5 is my favorite. A favorite word lately is “margin.” Am I planning within enough margin for time, patience, money, etc? It’s really life-changing when you try to plan for patience and grace and make extra room. Not always easy, but so good.
Candi,
Yes absolutely!! Margin is magical 😉 Thanks so much for sharing!!
Planning is key for me and it helps that my 4 year old daughter has a younger brother so I can be occupied helping him while she takes her time zipping her coat and latching her buckle in the van. Knowing I have an extra 15 min helps me be patient because I won’t be late! However, I have a hard time getting through the grocery store….
Hey Jessie.. you’re right.. Planning is key and actually, when you start doing it, it becomes so much easier. 🙂 Thanks so much for sharing.