How to Deal with Mom Envy During the Holidays

As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases. For more details, please see our disclosure policy.

The holiday season can be a wonderful time as long as we don’t let Mom Envy steal our joy. Consider these tips from Life as Mom contributor Prerna:

How to Deal with Mom Envy During the Holidays | Life as MOM

We’ve all experienced it. That feeling you get when you visit a friend’s home during the holidays, sometimes, straight after you’ve both hung out at the park with the kids. The comparison is stark.

Her house feels warm, welcoming, straight-out-of-Pinterest while yours is, well, totally not that.

You look around and notice small holiday touches. You go to the bathroom with your toddler and even THAT is all merry and bright. What could have been a lovely cup of coffee with friends, chatting and laughing, soon spirals into an episode of comparison-itis?

You come back home and you just can’t seem to ignore those feelings. The feelings of being less than, the feeling of being incapable, the feeling of envy. I know it because sadly, I’ve been there.

The good news is that you can deal with mom envy that usually rears its ugly head during the holidays because well, they are the holidays and you have more friends and family visiting to do than ever!

How to Deal with Mom Envy During the Holiday Season

Here are the TWO {that’s right, only two!} tips to help you shake off these feelings and actually enjoy the sweetness and warmth that this special season brings with it:

1. Remember what matters to YOU

This is what helps me each time I catch myself feeling “less than” or worse, envious of a fellow Mom. We have our family values and revisiting them during these moments helps refocus on what’s important to us.

  • For us, time together makes a difference.
  • For us, being warm and welcoming is more important than “having” warm and welcoming. Makes sense?
  • For us, laughing, singing, decorating, baking, praying together is the spirit of the holiday season.

Sure, my living room may look like a disaster zone especially when I’m in the middle of the seasonal changeover with clothes spilling all over the place, but I’m happy to open the door to my friend and welcome her in for a cuppa coffee while we chat, sitting cross-legged on the floor and the kids run about playing.

The thing is that you will make time for whatever it is that is important to you. Trust me, you will.

I manage 2 businesses, a home, a 7-year old with a busier social life than my own and I’ve found that whatever is important does get dealt with. With joy.

How to Deal with Mom Envy During the Holidays | Life as MOM

What matters to YOU?

  • Is having a pretty home really important? Then, you make time for it.
  • Is doing more holiday activities as a family what you’d like? Then do it.
  • Is relaxing, lazing around, napping in the day your idea of a perfect Christmas Eve? Sure!

Your life seasons, your family values and your own personality all make a difference when deciding whether you want to pull out all the stops or whether you’d like a more laidback approach.

This season, pause a while before you start to get overwhelmed and even, a bit judgmental of your self when visiting family and friends.

2. Acknowledge your feelings

Finally, and most importantly, remember to acknowledge your feelings. Reflect. Introspect. Make time to unplug from social media and nourish your soul instead.

Chat about how you feel with someone who really gets you. Pray. Journal. Put them out there so you don’t have them inside of you. Acknowledge them but let them go.

There you have it. Two little things that have a big difference on how we feel about ourselves and others during a season that should be about love, warmth, togetherness, acceptance and forgiveness.

Do you experience “mom envy” during the holidays?

How do you deal with it? Let’s chat and encourage each other. See you in the comments!

Prerna smallGourmet content chef, author of the Content Cookbook and community manager for time-starved entrepreneurs and bloggers, Prerna Malik, along with her husband Mayank, infuses online communities with sugar, spice and everything nice… for a small business.

Grab her FREE social media and copywriting goodies here!

Similar Posts

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *


  1. Years ago, I realized I had a comparison problem, not just at Christmas. One thing that I have to remember is that no one has it all together or is imperfect. This is not in a way to tear others down, but just to remind myself that we all have our strengths and weaknesses. When I look at someone who seems like they are better at certain things for me, I can appreciate that about the person, and know that I have my gifts & talents, too.

    Sometimes, I also need to remind myself that there are seasons for some things, and at other times I have to let them go. I enjoy crafting, making cards, and things like that. But this is not the year for most of that!

  2. What a great post- so appropriate for any time! It’s hard to stay focused on prioritizing what’s important to you knowing that some things WILL fall by the wayside. I hate crafting- I don’t do crafts! But it’s hard not to feel “not good enough” that my home doesn’t have a ton of homemade beautiful Pinterest worthy crafts. Thanks for the good words!

  3. Such an appropriate topic for this time of year (or anytime, really). Thanks for the reminder and the reality check that not “everyone” has a perfect home.