Love Your Life: Get real with yourself.

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Believe it or not, I’m still figuring this whole mom thing out, sixteen years into it. I feel like I’m 25, but the crows’ feet tell me otherwise. I recently had a chance to speak to a group of moms who really were 25. I narrowed my talk down to four things that I think can help you love your life as MOM a little bit more. I’ll be sharing one part each week for the next month. This is part 2. For part one, go here.

Grant's Farm, St. Louis, MO

I was the ultimate perfectionist in high school and college. I planned and planned and insisted on things being “just so”. I think a lot of us are like that — until we have children.

Becoming a mom cured me of much of that, but not all.

I would rage inside – and sometimes still do – when things didn’t go my way, berate myself when I messed up. I would compare myself to other moms or to my ideal me, and I would come up short. It was all pretty futile, actually. Especially when I looked in the Bible and realized…

No mom is perfect.

No one but God is perfect. Not your neighbor, not your sister, not your mother-in-law. We are often guilty of comparing our insides with what we see on the outside of someone else. Each of us has unique challenges and strengths which makes comparing pretty silly.

Do the best you can with the resources that God has given you for this season. Ask your husband for input. And then be okay with “good enough”.

I think one of the things that has helped me in this area is learning to love how God made me, to feel bien dans ma peau, as the French say:  to feel right in my own skin.

mission bay fishkids sm

Get real.

My family and I – we’ve got some quirks. And I love that about us. My husband and I – we are, in many ways, men without a country. We don’t fit into any specific demographic. We don’t fit into the pegs of modern day Christianity. And we certainly don’t fit in with the world.

When I finally came to terms with that, it was really freeing. It’s sometimes lonely because I don’t always see eye to eye with other people, but I’m free to be me. And that helps me enjoy my life and my family so much more.

Psalm 16 says, Lord, you alone are my portion and my cup; you make my lot secure. The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places; surely I have a delightful inheritance.

God has created the borders of my life. He has set these children, this husband, this life at my feet.

And He never makes mistakes.

Hop on over to Part Three of the Love Your Life series.

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  1. Agreed. I feel like there’s some weird social pressure for moms to be perfect at all things, and not enough of us talk about the not so pretty stuff. We should talk about it more.

  2. Love this!!! Thank you for the reminder….we really don’t have to fit in….just be what God wants us to be….and sometimes it’s very hard to just let go and let God control. Love your blog 🙂

  3. A great short read while I’m sipping coffee, in bed, on a Sunday morning, while my daughter’s Leapfrog’s noise fills the entire room (she’s next to me!) … Thank you for these inspiring words.

  4. This really resonates with me. At age 52 with two children in elementary school my husband and I do not fit any demographic group either. I do not know how many times I have had someone come up to me and start talking to me about my grandchildren (I do not have any yet). On the other hand most of the people in my age group are celebrating the college graduations, marriages of their children or the births of grandchildren. Most of my friends are planning for an empty nest; we have a minimum of 10 years before ours even finish high school.

  5. Well said. I especially appreciate the “feel right in your own skin.” That is a tough one for me (even before kids – it got worse after). I have been smacking myself up lately over the few (less than 10) extra pounds I am currently carting around. I came to the realization that even when I was lighter, I still wasn’t happy. I think that it might be time to let go of that particular hang up, though I am not sure how.

  6. Great post! Accepting who God made you to be while trying to continue to grow is a balancing act. But it’s so important to do the former or the latter will never work out.

    You seem to be doing a good job at both!

    Mind you, I think it’s something that we keep on working on. I see it in people in their 70’s even: accepting who they are, accepting who their spouse is, and stretching themselves as individuals and as a couple.

  7. I just started following your blog and you are UH-MAZING! God’s plan is always right on target!