Modifications Permissible

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From The Mommy Manual:

Keep in mind that modifying your standards is not always a sign of laziness but sometimes of intelligent decision making. When we lower our standards because circumstances defeat us or we feel weak, we don’t feel good about the result. But when we evaluate the demands on our time, our children’s capabilities, and our family’s priorities, a decision to temporarily modify our standards in some area may actually be the most responsible path.

I’ve been reflecting on the fact that some things need to be adjusted in my mind set. I seem to place the bar really high for myself: I want an immaculate home, a perfectly-run school, great nutritious meals, happy children, a great physique, and on and on and on. Usually, I don’t reach the bar and I feel miserable as a result.

This quote (and the examples that accompanied it) really freed me up. I feel like I can reset my mind and set goals that are achievable and helpful to my family. Stay tuned….

Think about how you can modify your standards to fit your real life today. What worked when you were single, doesn’t work when you are married. A system that runs smoothly with one baby may stumble when you have several children. What worked when they were babies, may not be working now that they’re schoolage.

How can you make some modifications for the NOW?

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  1. I’ve been thinking about this same thing, and it’s great to hear another perspective. It’s easy to fall into a trap of trying to do everything perfectly and end up with a lot of guilt and stress!

  2. Thank you for posting this. I have been struggling with the need to make some pretty big modifications to my standards lately, and it’s good to know that someone else out there is having “I must be perfectly perfect…” problems too!
    Good luck with resetting your goals!

  3. Balancing responsibilities and time management are always a challenge for me. I always want to do it all perfectly and that never happens. Then I feel like a failure.
    There are two things that really help me. The first is knowing my priorities. That way I can give myself permission to not do certain things because I know that they will take away from something more important. The second thing is to have a schedule. For me its a loose schedule, but it helps keep me on track. (I’m too easily distracted.)
    When things are really super hectic, I make sure everyone is fed and clothed I figure if everyone has something to wear and something to eat the rest can wait!

  4. That totally validates what I’ve been thinking lately. I am picking my battles carefully. If I don’t have time to follow through on my demands I don’t bother making them or my kids think it’s okay to ignore my requests cuz I won’t even notice.
    The theme I have been living by this year is “simplify”. That alone has helped my chaotic life seem do-able.

  5. I love this idea. It just makes total sense, especially as we go through the various seasons of life.

    At eight months pregnant now, I’ve found I’ve had to lighten up on some things. Much like I had to cut myself some slack during my sickly first trimester, I now have to acknowledge that some things are just a bit out of my reach. And that’s okay!

    In customer service, we were taught to “under-promise” and “over-deliver”. I think we sometimes need that same approach for ourselves. Maybe then we’d feel satisfied and accomplished as wives and mothers instead of like we’re never quite measuring up…

  6. I started out my year hoping to simplify and well off the wagon. But your posts are helping me get inspired to get back on track!


  7. I agree. Perfection is something we naturally want, but it stresses me out if I can’t obtain it. Great reminder. Thanks!

  8. Funny – my sister just bought that coffee mug for me. I love it and use it for my juice every morning…isn’t big enough for my morning coffee fix. 😉