Time For MOM: This Leg of the Journey

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Last week I talked about determining your destination as a mom. What kind of mom do you want to be? Where do you want to go in your role as MOM? When you’re old and gray, having walked a winding path, where will you find yourself? Determining your destination now will help you get to the right place, Lord willing.

If you haven’t had a chance to think through this recently, I encourage you to go back here.

Let’s remember that this motherhood gig is a journey, and a marathon one at that. It can be easy to be overwhelmed by the immensity of the task at hand. For me:

I want to be a joyful mom who is encouraging to my children, content with where God has put me, and reliable to take care of the tasks that are mine.

OK, let me just flip a switch and I can be all those things, right? Not hardly. Motherhood is going to encompass my lifetime. So, while I have the destination in mind, my next step is to create a vision or plan for this leg of the journey.

Let’s think about this year. Choose one area of your mothering to work on. No, you don’t need to ignore the others. But, focus on one area to pray about, to focus on, to grow in.

Currently, I feel really burdened by the fact that I am dropping the ball with my children. So this year I”m going to focus on being reliable with cheerfulness.

I want my children to look back at our lives together and know that their mom could be counted on to do what she said.

She read the story as she promised. She drove us to the park when she said she would. She delivered the goods and kept to her word. And she did it with a good attitude. She didn’t sigh at the diapers, the messes, the childishness, or the middle of the night waking. She knew what tasks (and joys) were hers and she put her hand to them.

Talk about a vision! Just writing that out makes me quake in my boots. And it will probably take 12 years rather than 12 months to achieve these attitudes and habits. But, I want to grow!

Once you have your vision, think about some specific goals to help you achieve that vision. For this leg of the journey, I’m going to spend some time thinking through the following:

Time management – if I’m a better steward of my minutes, the urgent won’t supercede the important. Thus, there will be more space for stories, trips to the park, and other fun things that I promise my kids.

Watch my words – I want to be more deliberate (and realistic) with the promises I make. I want to mean what I say and say what I mean. I don’t want to be full of empty promises. Failed expectations can disappoint a child more than if the notion was never mentioned.

Prioritize – I want to be able to tell the difference between the urgent and the important. My time is limited, so I need to get the biggest bang from my buck, so to speak. What things are really important? What should I spend my time on?

These are just three ways that I can grow in being more reliable to my children. I’ll be exploring these in more depth next week as we look at strategies to help us achieve our goals.

So what about you? What area of your Motherhood Mission would you like to grow in? And how can you break it down into smaller parts? Let’s talk about it in the comments.

Part Four: How Do YOU Travel?

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  1. Love it! I really need to get on the ball in this area too…especially time management. I was doing really well devoting a big portion of my day to my son and doing “intentional play” with him. Then the morning sickness struck. Then the holidays. But now I have no more excuses. I need to get back on track. I’m glad you’re discussing this…it’s bringing it into the front of my mind, where I HAVE to pay attention to it!

  2. So glad it’s helpful, Tiffany. I took a deep breath when I hit “publish,” wondering if y’all are done with goal-setting. Has New Year’s worn off? 😉 But, I know for me, I have to keep putting it in my face, so I have to think about it – like you said.

  3. I agree. If it is important and you work through it in writing/ print, you are had accountable.

    I have 3 kids– 6, 4,and 2 years old. I have been a stay at home Mom for 4 years. My kids are the best of friends and we have always encouraged that but sometimes I feel like I have pushed that a bit too much. Are they developing their own opinions or are they just following in the footprints of their sibling? I mean, does my youngest daughter really like Lego and Hot Wheels cars as much as her older brothers or is she just trying to fit into their day?

    I think that my role as their Mom is to provide every opportunity that I can to each of my kids. I feel like maybe I have to do a better job of recognizing and enhancing their differences instead of always lumping them all together.

    Thanks for sharing this goal- setting post. I love sites that challenge me to think outside of myself. Cheers!

  4. This post was also much needed for me. I find myself having lots of regrets when all the lights are off and the house is quiet. I don’t want my kids to lay in bed at night and worry if I am mad at them or why I didnt do something I said I would. Cheerfulness and patience is also something I struggle with and the crazy part is that all I want in the whole wide world is to give my children the best childhood ever. I don’t understand why I just can’t shut my big mouth sometimes and be more CHEERFUL! Your post really hit home with me and I will be working on this too!!

  5. I appreciate your topics & have to say your blog is one of my absolute favorites. Maybe it's because I'm the oldest of 6 kids & can totally relate to your family!

    This was such a good reminder for me…I read your post about setting goals last week but just haven't had a time to sit down & do it. I'm going to get some quiet time tonight & do this.

    I think the fact that you're even setting goals means you're going to accomplish great things as a mother to your children. It's all about being intentional in how we mother. Being aware is 90% of the solution to any problem, and as my wise younger brother said on his blog, "You have to know where you are in order to get where you want to go." Good advice!

  6. Jessica, I almost cried when I read this. I am exactly where you are right now and need a nudge to really look at my mothering. Sometimes who I want to be is a far cry from what is going on day to day around here.

    I also have been feeling some strong calls to serve at church, in my local mom’s group, with a young girl I have been mentoring …and that doesn’t come without a cost to my boys. I struggle with how to balance service to others with service to the others who live in this house.

    Thanks for putting it all out there.

  7. Gophercheeks, good question. Are they “going along to get along?” That is not always a bad thing. But, I think that as they get older, their personalities really shine through and if it’s a true dislike, they probably won’t do it. One son is crazy about football, one is not. Sometimes the second caters to the first and plays anyway, but they both acknowledge that he’s doing it out of love for his brother.

    Kellye, I know too well that after-lights-out Mama guilt. It usually happens when I’m trying to do too many things at once and not focusing on the group dynamics.

    Krista, thanks for your encouragement!

    Mamalibby, tell me we will figure it out?!