The Weekly Ramble 1/20/24

Life feels, no, I feel, unsettled. Not sure why, but I aim to find out.

This week there were some amazing, mind-blowing sunrises and some non-sunrises when the heavy fog blocked any view of the homes past our fence, let alone the sun. The day pictured was one of those amazing days. Wow.

Honestly, it was better in person, which, now that I look at the picture, means it was incredibly stunning. And even in the unsettled, I can feel thankfulness to God. What a wonderful world He has made.

The last week went by in a blur. As it was happening, it didn’t feel like I was accomplishing much. Every day felt like it was gone in a blink.

Sitting here, though, I can see some really good things happened.

I met one of our neighboring families. Sourdough was the thing to break the ice. I baked extra last weekend and took them a loaf. The conversation morphed into sourdough baking in general and before M. knew it, I was sharing starter, coming over to verify hers was ready to go, and delivering rice flour so she could bake her first boule. It was fun to get a text on Wednesday with a picture of her first loaf of bread.

I guess sharing bread is gonna be my thing this year. I baked another batch on Tuesday to take to a friend. Bread seems to be safe. Who doesn’t like bread?

With sourdough on my mind, I also made several test batches of Sourdough Donuts. The first two were baked, the last was fried. I may never be the same.

I’m going to sourdough all the things: cinnamon rolls, hamburger buns, focaccia….

One of the things I’ve been grappling with on a more sober note is my identity as a writer/blogger. A few weeks ago one of Bryan’s co-workers said to me, upon first meeting me, “Oh I’ve heard about you and your baking and your little blogs.”

We all know he didn’t call them my “little blogs”. [insert eye roll]

As I’ve thought about it, I realize that what she said says something about her, but how it made me feel says something about me.

It bothered me a lot. More than a lot.

Since my income has dropped more than 50% this month, it’s become really clear to me that a lot of my identity has been wrapped up in my work, little though it may be.

“Give us, Lord, our daily bread,” has taken on more significance for me as a result. And I’m not talking about sourdough.

I am actually not worried about how we’ll pay the bills. At least not yet. We’ve been in much worse situations with much higher bills and smaller income. I know we can figure it out.

My income didn’t used to matter; it paid for the extras. Since the move it matters. We won’t feel it until April, when I get paid for January’s work, so we have some time to make changes.

But more importantly, if my current career ceased to be, would I be okay?

I talked about it with a friend who started blogging the same time as me. She doesn’t struggle in this way because her identity has never been in work. But, she confessed she finds it in her husband and kids, something she and her husband have talked about so that when the nest is empty, she has a plan.

Who am I? is a question I’m still wrestling with.

I spent a lot of time at the beginning of the week crunching numbers. It had been awhile since I’d had a chance to comb thoroughly through the books. I spent about 6 hours with Quicken. Yikes!

I realized Amazon is a leak in our bucket, so I’m considering breaking up with them. Shopping won’t be as convenient, but Walmart and Target are both a couple miles away.

I will miss the TV, though. Since we finished Astrid, we worked our way through The Mystery of Manon. I can live without TV, too, though.

While I don’t observe Lent in a strict sense, I am considering the TV thing…

I also discovered that even though I’d been really lazy about grocery budgeting in the latter half of the year thanks to moving, school, etc., we still hit our goal.

I surprised myself because I had gotten really lazy. Turns out the Good Cheap Eats System can beat laziness, too. I’m thrilled to report that we more than beat the USDA food cost reports for our family, spending a rough $1450/month on all meals eaten at home — for seven people!

Speaking of USDA, another realization this week is that I can eat fruit. It’s not that I couldn’t eat fruit before, but a friend of mine who’s a nutrition coach has been sharing with me more about the importance of fiber in our diet.

She’s encouraged me to eat 800 grams of fruits and veggies/day. This amount to about three big bowls of salad. The days that I’ve hit the target I’ve felt amazing and my digestion has cooperated.

I guess that’s why my gramma ate Raisin Bran, eh?

After years of following a few fads here and there, I’d developed a fear of fruit. To enjoy a bowlful of blueberries or fresh pineapple this week was such a joy!

Here’s a system I can really get behind, especially since on the days when I didn’t hit the target, I felt the difference.

This really is a ramble, isn’t it? We currently have about 20 teens and young adults in the house for our monthly Game Night, so I may be a bit distracted.

It takes a little work to get ready for Game Night, but this is our 4th one and they’ve all been different. But they’ve all been a hit. It’s so fun to see your kids interact with their friends together and separately.

Alrighty, that’s it for the Weekly Ramble. Have a good weekend!