Q&A: Morning Wake-Up HELP!
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Occasionally, readers write with questions that I know others might be able to add to or benefit from. Today we’re talking about morning wake-up help and how to get kids ready and out the door.
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Q. I am hoping that you can help me (and possibly other readers as well) find some ideas for getting my 5 year old out of bed and dressed in the morning. As much as I wish it were otherwise, I have to wake her up around 6am. Every morning its a struggle and it often takes 30 to 45 minutes to get her up. I’ve even resorted to waking her up earlier (5:45am) to allow for this. It still doesn’t help much. I am late to work nearly every day. My boss has not said anything to me at this
point, but it certainly isn’t healthy for my career. In the fall, my daughter will start Kindergarten and the time crunch will be even more important so she won’t miss the bus.
Getting out of bed isn’t even the only problem. Having her get dressed in a timely fashion takes nearly as long!
I have tried punishments – doesn’t work. I’ve tried incentives – works for a short period of time only.
I’m just about at my wits end. Can you or your readers supply any ideas for helping my sleepy girl get going in the morning?
Thanks so much,
Sara
A. Hi Sara,
While I don’t often have the same challenge you do since we homeschool, there are mornings when I need to get the crew “up and at ’em” at an early hour to drive to a class, doctor’s appointment, field trip, or test. I can certainly understand your struggle and can assure you that you are not alone. I know there are plenty of moms in the same boat with us.
When I know that we need to get going early, my preparation begins the night before. I have the kids pack their backpacks, lay out their clothes, and put their shoes and bags by the door. We also try to make sure the house is relatively tidy before we go to bed that night because messes slow us down tremendously. I also pack lunches the night before AND make breakfast. Even something as simple as setting out bowls, spoons, cups, and cereal boxes seems to save time in the morning.
As for physically waking kiddos up, I try to make sure that they go to bed early so that they are getting enough sleep and feeling rested when they do wake up. And, truth be told, some of my boys prefer to sleep in their (clean) clothes so that they don’t have to mess with getting dressed on a busy morning. They literally roll out of bed ready for the day.
Well, there is the wet comb to deal with the bed head, but you get my drift.
These are things that work for our family to get up and out the door in time for classes and appointments. However, that doesn’t mean we/I always do them. In fact just yesterday we needed to get on the road by 8 and there was a fair amount of hustle, bustle, and smoke coming out Mama’s ears. We can have great plans and things still not turn out the way they should.
These tips certainly don’t address any deeper issues like if your daughter is willfully disobeying. But, my guess is that if she’s got adequate sleep and her stuff all laid out for her, then it should be a little easier. But, I myself had a kid who stayed in bed (awake) for 45 minutes while I was getting ready because he just didn’t want to go with the plan. I feel your pain.
One thing that I’ve realized with my younger kids is that they still need help sometimes when I think they should be able to do it on their own. So, perhaps you can help her get ready or invite her to get ready in your room while you get ready for the day. A little companionship could go a long way.
Anyway, that’s my two cents. But, please know I wouldn’t want you to do it “my way” just ’cause. I hope that you can discover what’s best for you and your daughter.
Dear Readers, it’s your turn.
Help! I have the opposite problem. My 3 year old wakes up between 4:30 and 5 a.m. and then wakes up her brother and sister. We are all exhausted. I put her to bed about 7:30 p.m., and she naps for about 1.5 hours and wakes up by 2 p.m. Any suggestions? We are desperate!
My 2.5 year old daughter does this sometimes. I alternate with either putting her back into her bed (when it’s SUPER early) and telling her that it’s still night-time, that I will come and wake her up when it’s time to get up; or allow her to cuddle w/us in our bed if it’s close to wake up time.
My kids also go to bed at 8pm, which helps a little with the early rise. I’ve also found that the later I put my kids down for nap, the longer they sleep and in turn, sleep better and longer at night. It almost seems counter-productive to have them sleep more, to sleep more, but it works for us!
We don’t have the fight in our house because I get my kiddo dressed while he is still asleep in the morning and it wakes him up slowly. Then if he is still too tired to get up, I brush his teeth for him and I carry him out to the car and he eats breakfast while we drive. I’m sure there are better ways and he should be more independent at seven but right now it works and he has time to grow into the big kid who does things on his own.
I hope that these tips help. I would also like to suggest that you get your little one checked out by her pediatrician and specifically mention the early-morning struggle. Ask him if he might recommend an allergy test (if your kiddo hasn’t already had one.) I was exactly like your daughter and was also falling asleep and cranky during the day for years. It turns out I had really bad pollen allergies. Once they were treated, my sleep habits and general wakefulness slowly improved! Hopefully she is 100% healthy but always being so, so tired even if she is getting the recommended sleep might mean she’s sleepy from having to fight off allergens all day.
OK, I meant to post this yesterday but ran out of time. I actually have advice for this! My best morning EVER was yesterday morning. My six year old son has always had such a hard time in the morning and it’s been such a pain getting him out of bed. Well, the day before yesterday I explained to him that I would be waking him 15 minutes earlier. He could then have the choice to either rest for fifteen minutes or have fifteen minutes to play. So I did this and he got right out of bed, played for fifteen minutes and then had no problem doing his morning chores. We started breakfast earlier then we ever have on a weekday morning. It was awesome! Hope that might help.
THAT is awesome!
Is there something that your daughter LIKES to do in the morning? Can you make sure all her chores/jobs are done prior to this activity? (i.e. – x must be completed before y happens)
My 2 boys LIVE for breakfast…so, before they get breakfast, they must be dressed, make their beds & tidy their room, and empty the dishwasher.
Maybe you could use a TV show or video as incentive?
My kids don’t have to wake up as early as your daughter, but they do have to be up by 7:00 and out the door before 8:00 to head to school. They almost always wake up on their own around 6:45, but I’ll wake them up by 7:00 if necessary. As others have said, the key for your daughter is getting enough sleep. Our kids (about the same age) are in bed between 7:30 and 8:00 in order to get up in time. I know this may be very difficult for you. If you work, and then need to pick up your daughter, get home, make dinner, and hopefully spend some time with her before bed, a 7 o’clock bedtime might seem impossible. I’m sorry as I’m sure this is difficult for you.
A few things I do to help the morning go more smoothly with our 4 kids are:
1) Have their clothes picked out ahead of time. I wrote a post about how we do that. http://www.gettingthroughtheday.com/2011/12/organizing-clothes-in-childs-closet.html
2) We always do a very simple breakfast on school days, usually granola or oatmeal, sometimes eggs and toast. If you are not feeding her “on the go” already, healthy to-go breakfast options may give her an extra 15 minutes of sleep in the morning.
3) Are you helping her get dressed? I used to make my 3 year old dress himself b/c he could, but I realized that if we were in a time crunch, the morning was much more smooth if I just took the 3 minutes to dress him myself instead of the 15 minutes it took him to do it.
4) If she’s not able to go to bed at 7 at night, is she able to catch a nap mid-day to make up for some of those hours?
I hope you are able to find a plan that works for your and your daughter. Good luck!