Imperfect Adventing

What to do when your best intentions, especially when it comes to Advent, fall short. Here are some ideas for observing Advent imperfectly.

For years I’ve felt like an Advent failure.

The candles we tried once. And it was an utter failure, so we never tried again. Until this year.

This summer I spent an exorbitant amount of time researching what a reformed Advent wreath looks like and am still perplexed, but I’ve got the candles! I bought them on clearance at Michaels because I really liked the color scheme. We’ll see how it goes….

However, let’s go back in time to Christmas 2002.

That first time I tried doing an Advent wreath was over 20 years ago, and we had a kindergartner, a toddler, and a baby. Of course it was a failure!

I thought last year might be the year to try the candles again. The kids are older. Their faith is their own. Our Sunday night dinners happen on a regular basis.

But then I forgot to follow up on that thought and before I knew it, I woke up sick on the first Sunday morning of Advent. All hope was lost.

Not really. Hyperbole obvi. The hope that that year we’d “do Advent properly” was dead in the water, though.

The thing is, what is proper?

I’ve ruminated over not doing things properly many times in my years of motherhood.

I didn’t nurse them “properly”. I didn’t wean them “properly”. I didn’t do a lot of things properly.

So I should not be surprised that Advent, too, for me is something that doesn’t follow the proper rules of conduct.

(And I secretly wonder if other families actually do Advent like it’s portrayed? Or is everyone pretending?)

Now, it’s not to say that I didn’t take the kids’ faith seriously when they were little. I did!

In fact, as a homeschool mom long before it was cool, I took it very seriously. We “did Bible” almost every morning for many years. Many Decembers we even worked through an Advent devotional. (My favorite was this one, The Jesse Tree, by Geraldine McCaughrean.)

But the candles and the readings, I could never swing it. Maybe that’s not worked for you, either?

Doing Advent properly this year, whatever that looks like for you, might not be in the cards. Instead, let’s explore what is.

Ways to Observe Advent (Even After It’s Already Started)

Advent is defined as the four Sundays leading up to Christmas, a season on the church calendar that is one of anticipation, paralleling the long waiting period when Israel was waiting for the Messiah to come.

In 2024, this starts on December 1st. But if you’re reading this later, that’s okay. This post is designed for imperfect Adventing.

There are Advent wreaths, usually a Christian practice, and there are Advent calendars, which can range from the decidedly Christian Jesse Tree to daily doses of chocolates and other trinkets.

While I appreciate both — and this has been the most fun trinkety kind ever — I recognize that sometimes we gotta pivot and do something a little different, to keep the spirit of Christmas, even when we’re too overwhelmed to do it properly.

Here are some ideas, generated on the fly:

Be in the Word

Can reading scripture ever be a bad thing? Whether it’s reading or listening, focusing on the Christmas story, the OT, or the Psalms, you’ll find Christ, which is, you know, the point of Christmas.

Anything we can learn about God and His ways is good, any time of year.

Be in the Word this December and you can’t go wrong.

Read an Advent devotional.

There are loads of good ones, including:

• The Jesse Tree by Geraldine McCaughrean
• The Wonder of Christmas by Melody Carlson
• The Dawn of Redeeming Grace by Sinclair Ferguson
• God Rest Ye Merry: Why Christmas is the Foundation of Everything by Douglas Wilson
• Preparing for Jesus: Meditations on the Coming of Christ, Advent, Christmas, and the Kingdom by Walter Wangerin Jr.

• Unwrapping the Names of Jesus by Asheritah Ciuciu

• The Advent Jesse Tree by Dean Lambert Smith

You can find more of my holiday recs here.

Enjoy silly fun.

While I do think it’s important for us and our kids to understand “the reason for the season”, I also think it’s okay to enjoy the silly fun that comes with Christmas.

For many years we did this Christmas Countdown Family Activity, including simple holiday activities into our December evenings.

This year I’ve given each of us an Advent calendar according to our interests (you can see some here) and we’ll do those every day — or not. You know how you forget to do something every day and then play catch up?

I’m planning some extra fun for Sundays since I know we’ll all be home. I got this from one of my kids this past week:

Making memories is really where it’s at, don’t you think?

I’m also taking it easy for meal planning with this year’s Meal Plan Advent Calendar. Did you sign up yet?

Light a candle and set a different evening mood.

It doesn’t have to be perfect. Just do it.

December is the season for shining lights in the dark. Turn off the overhead lights and do something different.

Don’t let perfectionism prevent true worship.

I often find myself thinking I need to do something perfect and that gets in the way of doing anything. He came to bridge the gap, including my perfectionism.

So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do everything for the glory of God.

1 Corinthians 10:31

More Good Ideas for Advent