Q&A: Morning Wake-Up HELP!
As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases. For more details, please see our disclosure policy.
Occasionally, readers write with questions that I know others might be able to add to or benefit from. Today we’re talking about morning wake-up help and how to get kids ready and out the door.
Want to save this post?
Enter your email below and get it sent straight to your inbox. Plus, I'll send you time- and money-saving tips every week!
Q. I am hoping that you can help me (and possibly other readers as well) find some ideas for getting my 5 year old out of bed and dressed in the morning. As much as I wish it were otherwise, I have to wake her up around 6am. Every morning its a struggle and it often takes 30 to 45 minutes to get her up. I’ve even resorted to waking her up earlier (5:45am) to allow for this. It still doesn’t help much. I am late to work nearly every day. My boss has not said anything to me at this
point, but it certainly isn’t healthy for my career. In the fall, my daughter will start Kindergarten and the time crunch will be even more important so she won’t miss the bus.
Getting out of bed isn’t even the only problem. Having her get dressed in a timely fashion takes nearly as long!
I have tried punishments – doesn’t work. I’ve tried incentives – works for a short period of time only.
I’m just about at my wits end. Can you or your readers supply any ideas for helping my sleepy girl get going in the morning?
Thanks so much,
Sara
A. Hi Sara,
While I don’t often have the same challenge you do since we homeschool, there are mornings when I need to get the crew “up and at ’em” at an early hour to drive to a class, doctor’s appointment, field trip, or test. I can certainly understand your struggle and can assure you that you are not alone. I know there are plenty of moms in the same boat with us.
When I know that we need to get going early, my preparation begins the night before. I have the kids pack their backpacks, lay out their clothes, and put their shoes and bags by the door. We also try to make sure the house is relatively tidy before we go to bed that night because messes slow us down tremendously. I also pack lunches the night before AND make breakfast. Even something as simple as setting out bowls, spoons, cups, and cereal boxes seems to save time in the morning.
As for physically waking kiddos up, I try to make sure that they go to bed early so that they are getting enough sleep and feeling rested when they do wake up. And, truth be told, some of my boys prefer to sleep in their (clean) clothes so that they don’t have to mess with getting dressed on a busy morning. They literally roll out of bed ready for the day.
Well, there is the wet comb to deal with the bed head, but you get my drift.
These are things that work for our family to get up and out the door in time for classes and appointments. However, that doesn’t mean we/I always do them. In fact just yesterday we needed to get on the road by 8 and there was a fair amount of hustle, bustle, and smoke coming out Mama’s ears. We can have great plans and things still not turn out the way they should.
These tips certainly don’t address any deeper issues like if your daughter is willfully disobeying. But, my guess is that if she’s got adequate sleep and her stuff all laid out for her, then it should be a little easier. But, I myself had a kid who stayed in bed (awake) for 45 minutes while I was getting ready because he just didn’t want to go with the plan. I feel your pain.
One thing that I’ve realized with my younger kids is that they still need help sometimes when I think they should be able to do it on their own. So, perhaps you can help her get ready or invite her to get ready in your room while you get ready for the day. A little companionship could go a long way.
Anyway, that’s my two cents. But, please know I wouldn’t want you to do it “my way” just ’cause. I hope that you can discover what’s best for you and your daughter.
Dear Readers, it’s your turn.
She might need more sleep, or she could just not be a morning person (I’m not & I could get 20hrs of sleep & still not want to get up).
Mornings are still a struggle here. I REALLY like the warm wash cloth idea. & Sleeping in braids (or even brushing hair before bedtime helps with morning bedhead) What works for us is music; fun music, get up and dance music. Black Eyed Peas, Pitbull, Katy Perry (all the PG versions) really help our kids get ready to move. It’s played in the living room so if they want to hear it they need to get up to go there. Also something that they can look forward to once they are out of the house (seeing the friend at school or hearing a song in the car).
I also started having them pick out 2 outfits at night so there would be less fighting in the morning (our struggle had a lot to do with them wanting more independence). They could only pick out what to wear from those 2 things.
A countdown also helps (I really want one of those clocks from amazon, but can’t afford it) so I set up the portable kitchen timer repeatedly you have 5 minutes to do X- the timer goes off & now you have 3 minutes to do X & so on. If they get done early I give HUGE praise & a sticker for helping the family getting out the door on time & I lay on the praise for being so helpful to mommy. In the car I point out how much nicer our morning was & how there was less yelling & notice how everyone seems happier.
Turning off the TV helps & if they get done early then they can watch ‘their shows’ (Arthur is a HUGE incentive in our house) But for our younger kid I use a TV show as the timer: you have until the 1st commercial to get eat, you have the 1st commercial break to brush teeth, next part to get dressed (dressing after teeth brushing = no messy shirts) etc.
So use what works.
Also I have found that if I am all ready it also makes stuff go faster.
Good luck! & it sounds like you have an understanding boss. When I was a WOHM I had an understanding boss too who knew me showing up 10-15minutes late wasn’t hurting my performance
I had some issues with my kids when they were preschool age too. One of the things that I did was get up earlier than them and make sure everything I had to do to be ready for work and get out the door was DONE, and then I woke them up. It’s a sacrifice, but I found that if I too, was running like a chicken with my head cut off…my disposition was not helpful to THEIR disposition in the morning. If I was pretty much ready to go to work, I could focus on helping them get ready and I could spend some time with them, talking to them, prior to starting both of our days. If I overslept and was getting ready at the same time they were, it was really stressful. Invest in that focused time with them in the morning… it will pay off.
I agree with the laying out of clothes the night before. But – my kids weren’t into that until we gave it a name. “Lay out your clothes” was just not cool for my littles (6 & 3). Now we call it “make a flat ____” (fill in child’s name) and then they take full ownership of putting out the clothes to be their flat self ready for the new day. That has made all the difference.
My first grader has always struggled with this.
The other commenters have the huge point of sleep–can make or break the morning!
When she started K she put on her school clothes at bedtime and it was a huge help.
For waking up–having a slow wakeup routine has worked for us. I wake her up and tell her that when she is awake enough to listen I will read. We read 1-2 picture books when she was young, now we read 1 ch of a Boxcar Children book. She lounges and slowly gets her brain awake.
But still, sleep sleep sleep is the key. We don’t get it in every night, but you sure can tell the difference!
We put our kids to bed in clean, comfortable, cotton clothes rather than pajamas. They wake up–and they are already dressed!
That way, we save about 30 minutes (10 per kid) EACH DAY. Huge time-saver!
My 16 yr old STILL sleeps in her clothes sometimes to save time in the morning. Totally a time saver…we have been doing this since our kids were young. I also agree with easy foods they can eat in the car on the way to the daycare or whatever. We did a lot of bagels, granola bars and bags of cereal in the car when my kids were preschool age.
I’ve found a couple of simple breakfasts that my sleepyhead loves- a yummy smoothie or quick french toast helps motivate her out of bed most days!
I agree with many of the things already posted, but have one new thought to add…
Nothing motivates my 7-year-old like a race with Daddy to see who can get ready first. After he announces that he is getting dressed first this morning and that there’s no way anyone can be quicker than him, then sauntering slowly down to the bedroom, dd giggles and races out in front of him. He is, of course, shocked every time he loses, to her delight. This has been going on for a couple of years now, and I hope it lasts a lot longer!
I was thinking the same, maybe she needs more sleep, (going to bed a bit earlier)
both of mine are early risers, no matter what time they go to bed.(i have almost 6 yo, and 3 1/2 yo.)
They are in bed at 7.30, and are usually up at 6am… (my husband and I are up at 5:30)
I agree with others that kids need a lot of sleep. I was shocked when I first heard the recommended amount. I have to watch nap times with one of my kids. If she falls asleep later than 2 pm, she cannot fall asleep at bedtime, regardless of whether the nap was 10 minutes or 2 hours. She cannot get up the next morning. When my oldest was four, I let her pick out her own alarm clock to practice for school the next year. She felt so big. I also agree about having everything laid out and ready the night before. Though I would love extra sleep, I get up and ready before the kids so I can focus on getting them going. Plus, it gives me time to deal with the daily unexpected surprise of a spill, a meltdown, etc. If I’m running behind, I’m more likely to lose it when the unexpected happens. My kids (least) favorite part of the morning is my announcing how much time before we leave… Ten minutes until departure! Five minutes until departure! If they are ready early and can tell time, they get the honors of making the announcements that morning. Hang in there and keep trying new things until you find something that works for you.
I have a daughter that is extremely hard the wake up and the only thing that works is to set alarm clocks and timers. I take myself completely out of the morning struggle. We sat down and decided how much time she would need to do everything she needed to in the morning and then we set the alarm together. Since she is a big dilly-dallier we’ve set another alarm on my phone for about 5 minutes before we have to leave so she knows as soon as she hears that she has to finish and get her shoes & coat on. This has really worked like a charm. Sometimes her alarm will go off for 10 minutes before she gets up and I really have to resist the urge to step in and wake her up, but she’s been ready on time everyday since we’ve started doing this.
Similar to this, and because I realise now that it was something I should have learned 25 years before I did, we are starting to teach our just-3yo about time budgeting. Obviously at this age we can’t say ‘each step takes X minutes thus equals alarm one hour before departure’ BUT we got a countdown timer that shows an ever-decreasing amount of red over the clock face until it beeps, so she can SEE how much time she has left. You can find these on Amazon under autism support tools.
This outsources the discomfort – YOU are not being mean, the clock is totally impartial – and perhaps if you lay it out visually the night before (along with clothes etc and that earlier bedtime) and back it up with a visual countdown timer in the morning, she’ll gradually learn about deadlines.
I can honestly say that I needed a lot more coaching on this than I got as a child, and my mother (who bought the countdown timer for my daughter at my request) has bought a second one for my father because he can’t judge the passing of time either. We’re all sleepyheads. I don’t know if they’re related traits, but in our family they seem to be!