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5 Ways to Care for Your Spouse This Season

Care for Your Spouse in This Season  - the holidays can be rough which makes caring for our marriages all that more important.

The holidays can be a stressful time. We have family to see, gifts to buy, and cookies to bake. There’s a fair amount of emotional issues that get stirred up between Thanksgiving and New Year’s, too. Memories of holidays past or family get-togethers can spark controversy and stress.

That’s why it’s all the more important to care for your spouse this season. And that’s not always easy.

We don’t always agree, do we? We don’t always understand the pressures that the other might feel. We aren’t always good at communicating.

But, doing hard things is good. Especially if the hard things bring us a better marriage or a better family life.

I am no expert. I still aggravate my husband from time to time, and vice versa. But, we’re in it for the long haul.

Care for Your Spouse in This Season  - the holidays can be rough which makes caring for our marriages all that more important.

Life is full of hard things, it only makes sense that marriage might be, too. We can look back at the hard times of life and see how God has orchestrated our paths to make us stronger. The same holds true for marriage. * Working through hard things can make a marriage better.

It’s worth the effort.

Like I said, I’m not an expert, but after almost 20 years I’ve learned a few things that help me love my husband more and care for him during a crazy season.

1. Speak my mind.

Last time I checked, he really couldn’t read my mind. It helps him if I tell him what I’m thinking and what I want. He can’t help me if he doesn’t know I need help.

2. Overlook an offense.

I tend to have thin skin. I realize this about myself and have to remind myself not to get overwrought when my feelings get hurt. Usually it’s over something trivial and not worth making a federal case out of.

However, #1 says, “speak your mind.” Speak your mind over important matters and be quick to forgive the others.

3. Be available.

Even the most attentive of spouses can get caught up in things. It’s really, really important to carve out times to talk and just relax together.

4. Look for the win-win.

Life is full of compromise. In marriage, though, there are plenty of ways to problem solve where you can both get what you want. But, you have to talk it out, have thick skin, and be together enough to understand one’s hopes for a certain situation.

5. Go to bed early.

‘Nuf said.

*Please note that when I talk about marital challenges, I’m thinking of your run-of-the-mill, we-don’t-always-see-eye-to-eye kind of challenges. If you find yourself in an abusive relationship, I encourage you not to go it alone. Please seek a clergyman or medical profession who can help you navigate those waters and make sure you are safe.

Do YOU have special traditions or things YOU do to care for your spouse at the holidays?

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Comments

  1. Our rule since we have been together is that Christmas is for US and Our family. Thanksgiving, Christmas Eve, New Years, every other day we spend with our extended families and run around like crazy. Christmas Day is stress free for us and the dogs.

  2. Kelly Hess says:

    My husband and I always have a standing rule when we are in stressful situations together, whatever we say to each other is not to be taken literally. Understand it is just in the moment and we did not really mean it. When we went to Disney World we defintely used this logic, that place is stressful enough with 3 kids in tow! We all have blow ups and speak things that may be hurtful in a bad situation. We just forgive and forget, nand never bring it up again!

  3. This is a great post, Jessica. Thank you for the reminder of something that is waaaay more important than perfect centrepieces and amazing food.

  4. Great reminder! Thank you. It is easy to take for granted the one that is always there, but, even more reason not take him for granted.

  5. Instead of spending on big, expensive gifts that smother the Christmas tree we stuff each other’s stockings. We can’t know what the other person got so it has to be stuffed secretly during the night or early morning while the other is asleep and no peeking till after breakfast when we dump out our goodies together and go through all our treasures! We’ll get each other practical things that we’ll use like razors or toothbrush but also silly toys like rubberband guns or grow your own crystals packets, and of course favorite candies and fruit. Just a fun tradition that makes us kids again!

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