Breastfeeding Expectations Plus My Story of Nursing 6 Babies
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Exclusive breastfeeding for the first six months is generally recommended. Today I share my story with breastfeeding as well as what a new mom might expect.
This post was originally posted on May 1, 2012. The comments are so rich with experiences from a wonderful group of ladies who were kind enough to share their stories, I thought it would be good to bump this to the top.
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I breastfed all six kids. Exclusively. For the first six months.
I don’t say that to brag. I know many, many women who for a variety of reasons are unable to make breastfeeding work for them and their families. And I totally respect that.
The key principle is that your baby is well fed. Methods may differ.
Rather, I share my story because I want to give hope to new moms out there.
I know that I am probably in a minority in how I fed my babies. Recently, I read some statistics that showed me what a small population out there does six months exclusive breastfeeding. Recommended, but not often done.
I didn’t set out to do it any “special” way. I was not/am not a militant “breast is best” proponent. I never attended a La Leche League meeting. I only got halfway through the big breastfeeding handbooks, and then I felt like I was doing it all wrong.
But, I was the milk wagon for my babies. And I lived to tell the tale.
For the first six months of their lives, I continued to “eat for two” and be their main, no, their only source of sustenance.
Folks warned us with our first baby that if we didn’t give him a bottle in the first six weeks that he would never take one. The implication was that our lives would be ruined. Forever.
Honestly, it was so difficult and painful in those first few weeks of nursing, there was no way I was going to jeopardize his latch or my milk supply (so hard earned by that point) so that maybe, someday, we might leave him home with a babysitter for longer than two hours.
The first one never got a bottle. Neither did the others. At six months of age, they started some solids and started to learn about sippy cups with water. They nursed until they were a year old.
This isn’t the “right” way. This is just the way we did it.
Granted, I was a homebody. And I had chosen to be a stay-at-home mom. My expectations were simply that I would breastfeed my baby. So I did.
Did I go away for the weekend with my girl friends? No, but I never did that before he was born, either. Did I feel annoyed that he wanted to nurse every two to three hours? No, my type-A self needed someone to make me sit and rest before I overdid it. Did I spend lots of money on nursing clothes? No, tshirts and jeans have been my uniform for years.
Breastfeeding felt natural. At least, thank the Lord, after those first three weeks. Once you get through the “bite-your-lip-and-suffer-through-the-pain” stage. Yeah, I know, it’s not supposed to be painful. But, it was for a time. Just saying.
So, if you’re a new or expecting mom interested in breastfeeding your baby, here are some things to consider:
1. It probably won’t be easy.
Few good things in life are “easy,” especially those things that you are just learning. Be prepared for challenges and setbacks.
This applies to breastfeeding, but yes, it basically applies to your entire parenting career, too. Just when you think you’ve got it figured out, your baby will have a growth spurt, cut a tooth, get sick, or learn to drive.
Be ready to be challenged.
2. Your life won’t be your own.
Since I chose exclusive breastfeeding, mostly on demand, and opted out of bottle feeding, my time was not my own. Neither was my diet. I knew that if I went someplace without the baby, I would need to be back within the three hour window. With practice and planning, I was still able to get out and do things, but I was mindful that someone else depended on me.
And that I might get a call on my cell phone that was simply the sound of the baby crying.
I took daily vitamins, ate a balanced diet, avoided much, if any, drinking, and basically took that “eating for two” thing pretty seriously. As such, I probably took better care of myself than I had before children and in some seasons since breastfeeding has ceased.
That said, the fact that someone else depended on me was good for me. And taking care of my physical health, well, that was a pretty good thing, too.
And your life? Well, as a mom, you have a new life, shared with the people you love. It won’t be your “own”, but it will be good.
3. It really isn’t as long as it seems.
It’s so easy to count the days away, waiting for the baby to wean, start solids, sleep through the night. In the middle of it, it does seem like it will go on forever. But, it won’t.
That baby there will be eight years old next month. I still wear those pants. See? My Old Navy yoga pants have outlasted three babies breastfeeding. The time goes quickly!
The last nursing session will pass and you may or may not even realize that it’s the last. Last things are like that. They flee silently and quickly. And far sooner than you thought you were ready for them.
Life is like that.
4. It’s totally worth it.
Breastfeeding certainly wasn’t easy. I’ve had my share of late nights, mastitis, engorgement, blisters, and what-have-you. I probably cried and complained more than I remember. My life wasn’t my “own”, but despite the demands and the crying baby phone calls, it was good.
I had a closeness with my babies, an understanding of their needs, and a super power — that my husband did not possess — to comfort them when they needed me. It was very right for me to breastfeed, especially in keeping me connected with my kids and not off doing “projects” as I might have been drawn to, instead.
The days have passed all too quickly. I had a nursing baby for a good 12 to 13 years of my life. Yet, my baby-Baby is on her way to 4 years old. That last nursing session is long gone — and I do not remember it.
While I don’t believe I won any brownie points for breastfeeding, and I’m not sure that my kids’ more-or-less good health is attributed to nursing, I know that I do not regret it. Going without bottles or formula didn’t ruin us. I have wonderful memories of my breastfeeding daze. Amnesia? Perhaps. But, I know I would do it all over again.
And if it’s something you want, barring medical issues, I think you can do it, too.
Obviously, if you are away from your baby for the day due to work or school, then you’ll want to do that bottle thing, but don’t think it’s too hard to breastfeed exclusively. It really is doable!
It’s hard and it’s good at the same time.
That’s the mystery of motherhood.
If you’re a veteran mom, we would love to hear your breastfeeding story. I know that there are many situations where moms wish it had been different or better and many moms for whom breastfeeding did not work, despite their best intentions. I really want this post to be an encouragement to new moms. So, please temper any challenges you might want to share with a heavy dose of encouragement and optimism. Any bashing or absolute horror stories are subject to deletion. Thanks for understanding.
Oh the fleeting days. Thanks for the walk on memory lane . My baby will be 19 this year. I breastfed 2 until they were a year old or so. I will never forget the cracked and bleeding nipple with me first one. He latched on sideways and gave me a water blister. But you are right, I don’t remember the last session, and even with that bleeding image disturbing some people, I can tell you I would do it all over again. When I was feeding my sons, for those few minutes they were all mine and I didn’t have to share them with anyone.
I’m currently on my second go around with breastfeeding. With my son (now 2 and a half), I breastfed with supplementation for a year along with pumping while at work. I was determined to give him every drop of milk I could produce. I had been given a nipple shield in the hospital which didn’t allow for the direct stimulation my body needed. My son was also born at 36 weeks gestation, so he wasn’t as strong as he could have been – although, he does have a laid back/gentle nature now, so maybe it has less to do with his premature status. With my daughter, now 9 months, we have a wonderful nursing relationship. It was very hard work in the beginning with fears of not producing enough milk and the extreme pain. But she has had only Mama’s milk (and now solids). She gets bottles of breastmilk while I’m away, but I’m able to provide that easily enough for her. It is a dream. I guess my point is that if you had a hard journey with a previous baby, try again if it’s what your heart desires. The experiences can be so different each time. Good luck Mamas!
I breast fed both my girls. I also supplemented with formula even before coming home from the hospital. As an older mother, I simply never produced enough milk to breastfeed exclusively. I don’t know how many “armchair doctors” insisted I could breastfeed exclusively if I simply tried harder. My favorite was the La Leche League TV ad running at the time with the tag line “mothers who breastfeed their children love their children.” In my opinion implying that those of us who did not exclusively breastfeed obviously didn’t love our children enough. Our real life doctor who was a wonderful man told me in no uncertain terms that my oldest needed me to supplement to ensure she thrived. Even with a combination of breast milk and formula my oldest struggled for her first two months to gain any weight. We had to take her to the doctor every two days for those first two months to monitor her weight. My youngest daughter spent her first week in the neonatal unit. She was born with low blood sugar. She had to have formula to ensure her health and survival. I weaned both my girls when they were about 4 months old at the urging of my doctor. He felt I was endangering my health to continue beyond that point. For some mothers, breastfeeding is hard. Wet nurses have existed for thousands of years for a reason. I would try to breastfeed if I had the opportunity again, but with 13 years of motherhood under my belt I would not stress about it nearly as much. It seems regardless of your choices/circumstances someone will criticize. Do what works best for you and your child. No one else knows your story and cannot make the right choice for you, your child and your family. At the end of the day, what your child needs more than anything else is your love and attention.
I have been nursing my son for nine months on demand and we also don’t use bottles as I find pumping very difficult compared to just feeding him and love the bonding. He’s slow taking to solids, so aside from little snacks of fruits and veggies which we’ve only just started really pushing (his iron levels and weight are still great), he is only getting my milk. I was told nursing is very painful and it was the easiest thing for me, which after 2.5 years of infertility and a three day labor, was such a blessing. I instantly became addicted to it, and even though they say it’s very hard to get pregnant while nursing exclusively I miraculously did and have still been able to nurse these first couple months of pregnancy. (Alfalfa vitamins havs helped me if I need a boost in milk.) The only hard part is my son prefers nursing lying down which makes going out for long periods harder, but he’s improving in this area, and sleeping through the night has yet to happen, but I’m hoping once he gets teeth and eating really takes off that’ll improve. I would encourage others to not be intimated by breastfeeding, it can be hard, but it can also be so wonderful. Use your intuition and give yourself grace. I know one day I’ll long for those feedings and snuggles!
OH I love all things breastfeeding! I love doing it, I love reading about it,I love talking about it and I live encouraging other moms. My girls are at a year feeding their third little boy . I love how special it is even though it is hard and can be isolation especially in those early months. My husband is my biggest support, well maybe my nursing bras are, hahaha. I also love breastfeeding humor! I think we need to normalize breastfeeding while respecting moms decisions. There are many ways to grow healthy babies just like there are many ways to grow healthy big kids. Every mom knows what’s best for their kiddos. Thanks for posting!
what a great post. I started breast feeding all 3 of mine & w/ each one there were different circumstanes that I had to stop by 3-4 months. that being said I WAS VERY THANKFUL for formula! I held all of mine while they ate even w/ a bottle.Each mother has to do whats best for their children AND sometimes BREAST IS NOT BEST!!!!! Our youngest is 15 now & they are all very healthy, in fact more healthy than some I know that was exclusively breast fed. I think if you can breast feed you should but if you can’t don’t beat yourselves up, its not worth it believe me. The best thing about bottle feeding is daddys can also bond w/ their children & ours have a awesome relationship w/ their daddy that we dont see w/ alot of other children we know. NO MOMMY babies here thankfully 🙂
LOVE this post! My son was born 5 weeks early and as a result of being in the nursery for 2 days before I could see him (I had high BP and they needed to get that under control before I could go up to see him) he started out with a bottle. I was pumping and they would give him everything I took to the nursery, but he was familiar with the bottle and every time I would try to nurse he would just get cozy and fall asleep. I decided that if he was getting the same milk from the bottle that he would be getting from me, I was ok with that if it meant he could come home (and we would continue to try when we got home). I pumped exclusively and offered him nursing at least once per day, when he got to 6 weeks it was like someone flipped a switch and he wanted nothing to do with the bottle anymore! I am SO SO glad that I was patient and was determined to give my baby the opportunity to nurse, when giving up would have been so easy. The sleepless nights and days of exclusively pumping were well worth it and I would do it again in a heartbeat! Seeing him triple his birthweight in 4 months, and catch up on the growth chart even for his ‘uncorrected’ age is just amazing to me!
Yay! Rejoicing with you.