Breastfeeding Expectations Plus My Story of Nursing 6 Babies
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Exclusive breastfeeding for the first six months is generally recommended. Today I share my story with breastfeeding as well as what a new mom might expect.
This post was originally posted on May 1, 2012. The comments are so rich with experiences from a wonderful group of ladies who were kind enough to share their stories, I thought it would be good to bump this to the top.
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I breastfed all six kids. Exclusively. For the first six months.
I don’t say that to brag. I know many, many women who for a variety of reasons are unable to make breastfeeding work for them and their families. And I totally respect that.
The key principle is that your baby is well fed. Methods may differ.
Rather, I share my story because I want to give hope to new moms out there.
I know that I am probably in a minority in how I fed my babies. Recently, I read some statistics that showed me what a small population out there does six months exclusive breastfeeding. Recommended, but not often done.
I didn’t set out to do it any “special” way. I was not/am not a militant “breast is best” proponent. I never attended a La Leche League meeting. I only got halfway through the big breastfeeding handbooks, and then I felt like I was doing it all wrong.
But, I was the milk wagon for my babies. And I lived to tell the tale.
For the first six months of their lives, I continued to “eat for two” and be their main, no, their only source of sustenance.
Folks warned us with our first baby that if we didn’t give him a bottle in the first six weeks that he would never take one. The implication was that our lives would be ruined. Forever.
Honestly, it was so difficult and painful in those first few weeks of nursing, there was no way I was going to jeopardize his latch or my milk supply (so hard earned by that point) so that maybe, someday, we might leave him home with a babysitter for longer than two hours.
The first one never got a bottle. Neither did the others. At six months of age, they started some solids and started to learn about sippy cups with water. They nursed until they were a year old.
This isn’t the “right” way. This is just the way we did it.
Granted, I was a homebody. And I had chosen to be a stay-at-home mom. My expectations were simply that I would breastfeed my baby. So I did.
Did I go away for the weekend with my girl friends? No, but I never did that before he was born, either. Did I feel annoyed that he wanted to nurse every two to three hours? No, my type-A self needed someone to make me sit and rest before I overdid it. Did I spend lots of money on nursing clothes? No, tshirts and jeans have been my uniform for years.
Breastfeeding felt natural. At least, thank the Lord, after those first three weeks. Once you get through the “bite-your-lip-and-suffer-through-the-pain” stage. Yeah, I know, it’s not supposed to be painful. But, it was for a time. Just saying.
So, if you’re a new or expecting mom interested in breastfeeding your baby, here are some things to consider:
1. It probably won’t be easy.
Few good things in life are “easy,” especially those things that you are just learning. Be prepared for challenges and setbacks.
This applies to breastfeeding, but yes, it basically applies to your entire parenting career, too. Just when you think you’ve got it figured out, your baby will have a growth spurt, cut a tooth, get sick, or learn to drive.
Be ready to be challenged.
2. Your life won’t be your own.
Since I chose exclusive breastfeeding, mostly on demand, and opted out of bottle feeding, my time was not my own. Neither was my diet. I knew that if I went someplace without the baby, I would need to be back within the three hour window. With practice and planning, I was still able to get out and do things, but I was mindful that someone else depended on me.
And that I might get a call on my cell phone that was simply the sound of the baby crying.
I took daily vitamins, ate a balanced diet, avoided much, if any, drinking, and basically took that “eating for two” thing pretty seriously. As such, I probably took better care of myself than I had before children and in some seasons since breastfeeding has ceased.
That said, the fact that someone else depended on me was good for me. And taking care of my physical health, well, that was a pretty good thing, too.
And your life? Well, as a mom, you have a new life, shared with the people you love. It won’t be your “own”, but it will be good.
3. It really isn’t as long as it seems.
It’s so easy to count the days away, waiting for the baby to wean, start solids, sleep through the night. In the middle of it, it does seem like it will go on forever. But, it won’t.
That baby there will be eight years old next month. I still wear those pants. See? My Old Navy yoga pants have outlasted three babies breastfeeding. The time goes quickly!
The last nursing session will pass and you may or may not even realize that it’s the last. Last things are like that. They flee silently and quickly. And far sooner than you thought you were ready for them.
Life is like that.
4. It’s totally worth it.
Breastfeeding certainly wasn’t easy. I’ve had my share of late nights, mastitis, engorgement, blisters, and what-have-you. I probably cried and complained more than I remember. My life wasn’t my “own”, but despite the demands and the crying baby phone calls, it was good.
I had a closeness with my babies, an understanding of their needs, and a super power — that my husband did not possess — to comfort them when they needed me. It was very right for me to breastfeed, especially in keeping me connected with my kids and not off doing “projects” as I might have been drawn to, instead.
The days have passed all too quickly. I had a nursing baby for a good 12 to 13 years of my life. Yet, my baby-Baby is on her way to 4 years old. That last nursing session is long gone — and I do not remember it.
While I don’t believe I won any brownie points for breastfeeding, and I’m not sure that my kids’ more-or-less good health is attributed to nursing, I know that I do not regret it. Going without bottles or formula didn’t ruin us. I have wonderful memories of my breastfeeding daze. Amnesia? Perhaps. But, I know I would do it all over again.
And if it’s something you want, barring medical issues, I think you can do it, too.
Obviously, if you are away from your baby for the day due to work or school, then you’ll want to do that bottle thing, but don’t think it’s too hard to breastfeed exclusively. It really is doable!
It’s hard and it’s good at the same time.
That’s the mystery of motherhood.
If you’re a veteran mom, we would love to hear your breastfeeding story. I know that there are many situations where moms wish it had been different or better and many moms for whom breastfeeding did not work, despite their best intentions. I really want this post to be an encouragement to new moms. So, please temper any challenges you might want to share with a heavy dose of encouragement and optimism. Any bashing or absolute horror stories are subject to deletion. Thanks for understanding.
I agree that breastfeeding can be an incredibly wonderful thing but I hope everyone remembers that it’s not always a choice. I wanted to breastfeed. I truly truly did. I breastfed my first child exclusively for the first 2 months. I suffered cracked nipples because I knew it was worth it. I fed him on demand, sometimes it was every 20min, because I knew it was worth it. But I had concerns. Why were the feedings only 10min tops? Was he really supposed to be hungry so often? Why did I feel like I didn’t have enough milk? Why when I tried to pump did nothing but a couple of drops come out? EVERYONE, from nurses, to lactation specialists, to my mom, told me it was fine. There was nothing to worry about.
At his 2 mos appt, he had gained 1 oz since in one month. Told the Dr. about my concern with my milk supply. He said I’m sure everything’s fine with you but let’s get his blood/urine tested. After going to the lab and getting his foot pricked and a urine sample (that was insane) I decided to go with my instincts and went to the store and bought formula. That 2mos old infant drank like a camel. When I went back 3 days later for test results, he’d gained 1 lb. I had unknowingly been starving my child. I took all the pills they recommend to boost milk supply, something like 6 pills 3x a day and I continued to nurse him, but I had to supplement with formula. The pills didn’t boost much. I had to stop nursing at 4 months. I was dry and had nothing left to give. I cried. I was also very upset and disappointed in myself. And now I’m left wondering, could those 2 mos have deprived him enough that it contributed to him being on the Autism Spectrum? I’ll never know.
It was different with #2, I had so much milk that after he ate I could pump and get a full bottle. No idea what happened with the first, but #3 was the same. I could feel the difference but I tried to nurse again. We watched her carefully. She didn’t gain weight in the first month. I had to give formula again.
So as wonderful as some find it, even with all the struggles, it does not always work- even if you keep trying. So please be very careful and don’t judge those that aren’t nursing.
Thanks for sharing your story. It can work out lots of different ways, and it’s good to hear about them all.
I want to be that mom!!! She just won’t latch, now I pump what i can and give it to her but it seems even with feneugreek I’m drying up. One sad mama over here
But, you’re doing what you can. It’s really okay.
Before my daughter (now 14 months) was born I heard two kinds of stories when it came to breastfeeding. Either it was the most simple natural thing or it was absolutely impossible. I think most of us fall somewhere in the middle. Breastfeeding will be a challenge, but a manageable one that’s well worth it. At least, that’s been my experience with my one baby. We’re not done nursing yet either.
Yep, that pretty much sums it up. 🙂
I just had my third child a week ago. I breastfed my other 2 ex. for 6 months and then for a year. I seem to be having a harder time with this one and was feeling frustrated. Then I ran across your post on facebook. Thanks for the encouragement.
I breastfed our daughter exclusively til 7 months when we introduced solids. She’s actually still breastfeeding (although obviously much less) and she just turned 2 (my goal was to breastfeed until 18 months minimum and reevaluate; guess we overshot that). I expect she will wean any time now because I’m pregnant; she’s dropping feedings on a weekly basis and I expect my supply will dwindle soon. I’m looking forward to breastfeeding the next baby as well. 🙂
I nursed 2 of my 4 kiddos successfully. I remember being so frustrated with my daughter & myself because we just “couldn’t get it right”. My wonderful lactation consultant gave me the best advice, “Liz, just remember ‘you’ve done this before, but your daughter hasn’t.’ Calm down, be patient, and guide her.” Somehow that made everything better.
I’m a little late to the game for this post and doubt that anyone will ever read through to the 120th comment (ha!), but I had to share. My daughter turns one in 9 days and we’ve managed to give her only breastmilk (and solids, of course) her entire life even though I work full-time. We nurse nights/weekends and I spend a crazy amount of time with my pump. But I just love nursing her. It’s always been in the plan to wean at one year to give me a break from the pump – but I never once thought that I wouldn’t be ready for the end. The thing is, now that the one year mark is looming, I find it hard to face. I’ll ditch that pump faster that you can say “Medela” but I’m going to cherish the nursing sessions that remain. We will most likely have to wean soon if we want to give her a sibling and I’m okay with that. It’s really been a magical experience. Sure, there were times at two months, four months, six months when I wondered if I could possibly pump one more time. There were times when I wondered how much longer can I sacrifice my body knowing that another baby would likely (God willing) be right around the corner? But I wouldn’t change a thing and I say little prayers that every mom and baby can experience what my daughter and I share(d) this past year. I admit, though, the thought of having my body to myself for at least a few months sounds WONDERFUL! 🙂
I read your comment. 😉 And I think this post and the comments will be a great resource for folks to stumble on in the future. Thanks for sharing your experience! It’s wonderful to hear how folks make it work.
Just wanted to quickly post, although my reply is not timely, that if a woman is having a hard time breastfeeding, as I did, they can consider the choice to pump exclusively. I did it for a full year for twins—I did need to supplement after the first 4 months. I mention this because it is not well-known that most of us, with a lot of diligence, can keep our milk supply up that way. I know this is not the exact subject of your post, but I think some women might choose to feed breast milk this way if they know it’s an option, so I spread the word when I can.
For the record, at a LLL meeting I attended the members and facilitator all said my supply would definitely dry up using a pump exclusively. Now I know that was just hearsay—they all breastfed directly of course!
If I had it to do over, I might persist longer in getting the latch right with both babies for the physical benefits, but I am proud of my choice nonetheless to give the girls superior nutrition.
Janet
Great job! Thanks for sharing your story. I think somewhere in the comments, there’s another mom who did the same as you. Proof that it can be done!
Thank you for this post! I actually read it at 4:30 am while breastfeeding my 1 month old. This is my first baby and i just determined yesterday that not only do I have a blocked duct but my little princess has reflux. It’s been a long day. 🙂 Just wanted to say Thanks for the encouragement!
I am currently nursing my first son, who will be 8 months old next week. I exclusively nursed the first 3 months, but my supply wasn’t enough for him, so I did supplement with forumla as well. He is now around 70% breast, 30% formula. I’m dreading the day that I have to stop nursing! So far I’ve been blessed to keep producing milk! My advice to new moms is to push through the first few weeks, they were rough for me as well, but it is oh so rewarding in the end!