Breastfeeding Expectations Plus My Story of Nursing 6 Babies
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Exclusive breastfeeding for the first six months is generally recommended. Today I share my story with breastfeeding as well as what a new mom might expect.
This post was originally posted on May 1, 2012. The comments are so rich with experiences from a wonderful group of ladies who were kind enough to share their stories, I thought it would be good to bump this to the top.
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I breastfed all six kids. Exclusively. For the first six months.
I don’t say that to brag. I know many, many women who for a variety of reasons are unable to make breastfeeding work for them and their families. And I totally respect that.
The key principle is that your baby is well fed. Methods may differ.
Rather, I share my story because I want to give hope to new moms out there.
I know that I am probably in a minority in how I fed my babies. Recently, I read some statistics that showed me what a small population out there does six months exclusive breastfeeding. Recommended, but not often done.
I didn’t set out to do it any “special” way. I was not/am not a militant “breast is best” proponent. I never attended a La Leche League meeting. I only got halfway through the big breastfeeding handbooks, and then I felt like I was doing it all wrong.
But, I was the milk wagon for my babies. And I lived to tell the tale.
For the first six months of their lives, I continued to “eat for two” and be their main, no, their only source of sustenance.
Folks warned us with our first baby that if we didn’t give him a bottle in the first six weeks that he would never take one. The implication was that our lives would be ruined. Forever.
Honestly, it was so difficult and painful in those first few weeks of nursing, there was no way I was going to jeopardize his latch or my milk supply (so hard earned by that point) so that maybe, someday, we might leave him home with a babysitter for longer than two hours.
The first one never got a bottle. Neither did the others. At six months of age, they started some solids and started to learn about sippy cups with water. They nursed until they were a year old.
This isn’t the “right” way. This is just the way we did it.
Granted, I was a homebody. And I had chosen to be a stay-at-home mom. My expectations were simply that I would breastfeed my baby. So I did.
Did I go away for the weekend with my girl friends? No, but I never did that before he was born, either. Did I feel annoyed that he wanted to nurse every two to three hours? No, my type-A self needed someone to make me sit and rest before I overdid it. Did I spend lots of money on nursing clothes? No, tshirts and jeans have been my uniform for years.
Breastfeeding felt natural. At least, thank the Lord, after those first three weeks. Once you get through the “bite-your-lip-and-suffer-through-the-pain” stage. Yeah, I know, it’s not supposed to be painful. But, it was for a time. Just saying.
So, if you’re a new or expecting mom interested in breastfeeding your baby, here are some things to consider:
1. It probably won’t be easy.
Few good things in life are “easy,” especially those things that you are just learning. Be prepared for challenges and setbacks.
This applies to breastfeeding, but yes, it basically applies to your entire parenting career, too. Just when you think you’ve got it figured out, your baby will have a growth spurt, cut a tooth, get sick, or learn to drive.
Be ready to be challenged.
2. Your life won’t be your own.
Since I chose exclusive breastfeeding, mostly on demand, and opted out of bottle feeding, my time was not my own. Neither was my diet. I knew that if I went someplace without the baby, I would need to be back within the three hour window. With practice and planning, I was still able to get out and do things, but I was mindful that someone else depended on me.
And that I might get a call on my cell phone that was simply the sound of the baby crying.
I took daily vitamins, ate a balanced diet, avoided much, if any, drinking, and basically took that “eating for two” thing pretty seriously. As such, I probably took better care of myself than I had before children and in some seasons since breastfeeding has ceased.
That said, the fact that someone else depended on me was good for me. And taking care of my physical health, well, that was a pretty good thing, too.
And your life? Well, as a mom, you have a new life, shared with the people you love. It won’t be your “own”, but it will be good.
3. It really isn’t as long as it seems.
It’s so easy to count the days away, waiting for the baby to wean, start solids, sleep through the night. In the middle of it, it does seem like it will go on forever. But, it won’t.
That baby there will be eight years old next month. I still wear those pants. See? My Old Navy yoga pants have outlasted three babies breastfeeding. The time goes quickly!
The last nursing session will pass and you may or may not even realize that it’s the last. Last things are like that. They flee silently and quickly. And far sooner than you thought you were ready for them.
Life is like that.
4. It’s totally worth it.
Breastfeeding certainly wasn’t easy. I’ve had my share of late nights, mastitis, engorgement, blisters, and what-have-you. I probably cried and complained more than I remember. My life wasn’t my “own”, but despite the demands and the crying baby phone calls, it was good.
I had a closeness with my babies, an understanding of their needs, and a super power — that my husband did not possess — to comfort them when they needed me. It was very right for me to breastfeed, especially in keeping me connected with my kids and not off doing “projects” as I might have been drawn to, instead.
The days have passed all too quickly. I had a nursing baby for a good 12 to 13 years of my life. Yet, my baby-Baby is on her way to 4 years old. That last nursing session is long gone — and I do not remember it.
While I don’t believe I won any brownie points for breastfeeding, and I’m not sure that my kids’ more-or-less good health is attributed to nursing, I know that I do not regret it. Going without bottles or formula didn’t ruin us. I have wonderful memories of my breastfeeding daze. Amnesia? Perhaps. But, I know I would do it all over again.
And if it’s something you want, barring medical issues, I think you can do it, too.
Obviously, if you are away from your baby for the day due to work or school, then you’ll want to do that bottle thing, but don’t think it’s too hard to breastfeed exclusively. It really is doable!
It’s hard and it’s good at the same time.
That’s the mystery of motherhood.
If you’re a veteran mom, we would love to hear your breastfeeding story. I know that there are many situations where moms wish it had been different or better and many moms for whom breastfeeding did not work, despite their best intentions. I really want this post to be an encouragement to new moms. So, please temper any challenges you might want to share with a heavy dose of encouragement and optimism. Any bashing or absolute horror stories are subject to deletion. Thanks for understanding.
Baby #1, nursed for 6 months.
Baby #2, nursed for 12 months through three episodes of thrush!
Baby #3, nursed for 14 months.
Baby #4 is now 12 months old and she will be my last baby :(. I will continue breastfeeding her hopefully for 6 more months.
It’s been somethimg so special that I have been able to do for each of my sweet babies and I will be sad to have it end.
So happy to read this! I nursed my daughter exclusively for 14 months because she refused to take a bottle! She stopped taking one at 3 weeks and never wanted one again! It was really hard at times but I’m so glad I did it. Baby #2 is on the way in 19 days and I have had so many moms tell me that I will NEVER be able to breastfeed this one (they will be 2 years apart) for very long, and certainly not exclusively! It’s been pretty discouraging so I am very happy to read this and see that it CAN be done 🙂 Thanks!! I needed to read this!
Megan, don’t listen to anyone’s negative reaction. I am currently pregnant with my 6th and my oldest will be 6 years old when she is born.
There is no reason why you can’t exclusively nurse when you have babies close together. If anything it will force you to take a break from the demanding two year old and bond with your newborn. (at least that’s how I felt). Good luck!
I had Gestational Diabetes and Pre-eclampsia, so after an failed induction, I had a c-section. My daughter was 9 pounds. Her blood sugar was a little low, so they brought her to me to nurse before the hour was over. Before I left the hospital, they were bringing me burn victim cool packs because I was blistered and bleeding. The lactation consultants said the roof of her mouth is higher than most and that I was doing everything right. She was two weeks early so when she wasn’t falling asleep while I was trying to nurse, she was screaming because my milk did not expel very fast. Sounds like a nightmare right – it was until I realized that my bond with my daughter was not just about breastfeeding her, so I stopped trying to force her to breastfeed. I pumped religiously (as in, what takes most women 20 minutes to expel took me 45 minutes and I had to massage the entire time) and held her close while I fed her a bottle of breastmilk. We had to supplement with formula, but she always got as much breastmilk as I could produce. I got pneumonia when she was four months old, so I had to stop giving her the breastmilk, but I kept pumping and dumping so I would keep my supply up. She took right back to the breastmilk when we re-introduced it. I pumped until she was 9 months old. I appreciate your acknowlegement that there’s not really a “right way”. The most we can do is the best we can do. I gave her the best I could and at the end of the day I have a healthy almost two year old that I love and that loves me. That’s all that matters to me.
I love your saying “The most we can do is the best we can do” — I had a difficult start to nursing each of my three children. After many struggle (and each child was different in their nursing difficulties) we managed to have a long and strong nursing relationship. Some of the best advice I rec’d was to take it a day (or even a feeding) at a time. Ask yourself, can I do this ONE more time? If yes, endure and do it. If no, if you’ve reached the end of your rope, can not take even one more painful feeding, or nipple-ripping pumping session, it’s OK to stop nursing and feed formula. You gave it your best. Be proud of yourself for trying. Mothering a child is more than how we feed the child.
I nursed my first till he was 8 months then gave him cows milk in a cup. This was 11 years ago. I wish I would of nursed longer and not introduced cows milk so soon but, I was really young and didn’t know much about nursing. Now I have a almost 6 month old and plan to nurse at least a year. I have a very special bond with both my sons. Just saying 🙂
I wasn’t able to breastfeed my first 3 kids, but I pumped and fed them, and contrary to everything I hear, I had way more than enough milk. I froze enough to last my first child until he was 1 and I stopped pumping at 6 months. That being said, I was able to nurse my 4th child and I loved it (after the first month anyway)! I think the lactation specialists at the hospital mean well, but they always made me feel like I was doing it wrong which is why I think I gave up with the first 3. With my 4th, I took him home and just kept at it until it worked and I’m so glad I did. Nursing is something only you can do for your baby and its such a special time.
You have written my sentiments exactly. I think breastfeeding was the hardest thing I ever did – much harder than childbirth itself, because of the time span! I am not by nature a stay-in-one-place-and-relax type of person. I don’t like to stay at home for long periods of time. But I was determined to breastfeed, because I felt it was the only way to go. It’s natural. It’s the way God made us.
Everyone around me was supportive of my decision, but no one had any experience, so it was left up to me. I was fortunate to have plenty milk, so I fed naturally when I was home, and I pumped (which actually required no pump, as I could squirt milk across the bathroom with one hand, lol) so the babies could take a bottle. After feeding exclusively on the breast for the first three or four weeks, I introduced the bottle, and we never had any trouble with going back-and-forth. I did follow “method” of sorts, very systematic, and was cautious at first.
I strongly encourage anyone who wants breastfeed, give it a try! It is worth the effort! And if you don’t succeed the first time, don’t hesitate to try again with the next. Every pregnancy, every baby, every situation or circumstance is different.
Thank you for this post!
I bf all 3 of my children for their 1st year. At about 4 mths I started giving them more foods but no cow milk until after their 1st b-day.
Some said that it shouldn’t ever hurt but for me the first 3-4 weeks, it did. I think making up my mind before they were born that bf was what I wanted to do helped me push through those first few weeks and continue for their 1st year.
I try to encourage new moms to give it a try because it did work great for me and my 3 but I know it does not work for everyone.
Thank you for posting 🙂 this encouraging word for moms.
I have 4 girls but only breastfed the last one. I tried with the first 3 but always gave up before it got better. #4 is 3 months old and hasn’t had a bottle yet. I was determined to make it work this time so I took the breastfeeding class, asked for help right after delivery, and rested the first 2 weeks. With my others I resumed normal activity (alone) as soon as I got home from the hospital. That led to exhaustion and mild case of PPD. This time my husband (who also was dedicated to making breastfeeding work) took a week off work and lined up help for the second week. Anytime I felt discouraged I called a friend of mine who had nursed 5 babies (she was determined to help me make it work). A few times she raced over to my house to help! I love that time I have with my baby-watching her grow from my milk, the convenience of just feeding her (no mixing a bottle), and sitting down for a little bit to enjoy her sweet face. I wish I would have nursed all my babies but I am grateful that God gave me the strength to make it work this time.
I nursed my first for 3 months, but not exclusively. Eventhough I took a class and read a book, I still had no idea what I was doing and my supply vanished to nothing by 3 months. I was sooooo stressed through the whole experience.
But, my second is almost 4 months old and he is exclusively breast fed. I was determined to be more successful this time! I did more research and it’s going great. Plan to keep it up at least until he’s 6 months. I think my experience makes this time around easier. I know the commitment to expect, so nursing every 2-3 hours is no problem. He actually sleeps better at night than my first did! And all those bad memories of washing bottles, buying formula with hard to find coupons and crying baby while we waited for the bottle to warm up is almost more motivating than knowing the health benefits! I’ll get a weekend away with the hubs or my friends later 😉
I wanted to share my story of hope for moms who’s nursing experience wasn’t good the first time. It can work for the second. I thought I just had low supply, turns out it was my own error and easily fixable.
Thanks for the post! I also breastfed my 6 and it was never easy!
The thing that SAVED me was visiting the lactation consultants and also pumping, sometimes for weeks until I could start nursing again.
I suffered with mastitis many times. 🙁
It was definately worth it for me. It saved us we estimate over $5000 in formula costs.
I invested in the Medela Double Electric pump as I work part time and needed a great pump. I would NEVER have made it without the pump. It paid for itself over and over and over! Then, I sold it for $50 on Craigslist when I was done with it!
I was able to nurse my babies anywhere from 9 months to 14 months and it was a great experience, even after a rough start at first with every single one!
I think women think babies are born knowing how to do it and it should be “natural” and not be painful or hard. I would say it is always the contrary! Most babies don’t just latch right on from the get go! The lactation consultants were lifesavers for me and my babies!
I’ve heard it described as trying to teach each other to dance, where neither partner has a cheat sheet. Knowing that going in made it easier to cope with any difficulties that came up – I’d just think, here we go learning another step together!
This post mirrors my own experiences with breastfeeding. As I read this. I’m nursing our third baby. He’s 8 months now and eating solids some, too. But he still gets most of his nutrition from me! To new moms – if you make it through that first month, you can make it 6 months! (or a year! Or more…) also, though two of mine had to go an emergency bottles during my own ER emergencies, they continued right back with nursing (and I pumped to keep up supply.) I also found that nursing is just easier – can go anywhere, not have to clean bottles or measure, and it keeps your diaper bag that much lighter. I don’t think the kids are any worse off b/c Daddy never gave them a bottle – they bonded in other ways. Just an encouragement that if we are a very small minority, we are a pleasant one and not all militant. Though I breastfeed exclusively, I still encourage friends no matter how they feed their babies. You just have to do what’s right for you!