Breastfeeding Expectations Plus My Story of Nursing 6 Babies
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Exclusive breastfeeding for the first six months is generally recommended. Today I share my story with breastfeeding as well as what a new mom might expect.
This post was originally posted on May 1, 2012. The comments are so rich with experiences from a wonderful group of ladies who were kind enough to share their stories, I thought it would be good to bump this to the top.
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I breastfed all six kids. Exclusively. For the first six months.
I don’t say that to brag. I know many, many women who for a variety of reasons are unable to make breastfeeding work for them and their families. And I totally respect that.
The key principle is that your baby is well fed. Methods may differ.
Rather, I share my story because I want to give hope to new moms out there.
I know that I am probably in a minority in how I fed my babies. Recently, I read some statistics that showed me what a small population out there does six months exclusive breastfeeding. Recommended, but not often done.
I didn’t set out to do it any “special” way. I was not/am not a militant “breast is best” proponent. I never attended a La Leche League meeting. I only got halfway through the big breastfeeding handbooks, and then I felt like I was doing it all wrong.
But, I was the milk wagon for my babies. And I lived to tell the tale.
For the first six months of their lives, I continued to “eat for two” and be their main, no, their only source of sustenance.
Folks warned us with our first baby that if we didn’t give him a bottle in the first six weeks that he would never take one. The implication was that our lives would be ruined. Forever.
Honestly, it was so difficult and painful in those first few weeks of nursing, there was no way I was going to jeopardize his latch or my milk supply (so hard earned by that point) so that maybe, someday, we might leave him home with a babysitter for longer than two hours.
The first one never got a bottle. Neither did the others. At six months of age, they started some solids and started to learn about sippy cups with water. They nursed until they were a year old.
This isn’t the “right” way. This is just the way we did it.
Granted, I was a homebody. And I had chosen to be a stay-at-home mom. My expectations were simply that I would breastfeed my baby. So I did.
Did I go away for the weekend with my girl friends? No, but I never did that before he was born, either. Did I feel annoyed that he wanted to nurse every two to three hours? No, my type-A self needed someone to make me sit and rest before I overdid it. Did I spend lots of money on nursing clothes? No, tshirts and jeans have been my uniform for years.
Breastfeeding felt natural. At least, thank the Lord, after those first three weeks. Once you get through the “bite-your-lip-and-suffer-through-the-pain” stage. Yeah, I know, it’s not supposed to be painful. But, it was for a time. Just saying.
So, if you’re a new or expecting mom interested in breastfeeding your baby, here are some things to consider:
1. It probably won’t be easy.
Few good things in life are “easy,” especially those things that you are just learning. Be prepared for challenges and setbacks.
This applies to breastfeeding, but yes, it basically applies to your entire parenting career, too. Just when you think you’ve got it figured out, your baby will have a growth spurt, cut a tooth, get sick, or learn to drive.
Be ready to be challenged.
2. Your life won’t be your own.
Since I chose exclusive breastfeeding, mostly on demand, and opted out of bottle feeding, my time was not my own. Neither was my diet. I knew that if I went someplace without the baby, I would need to be back within the three hour window. With practice and planning, I was still able to get out and do things, but I was mindful that someone else depended on me.
And that I might get a call on my cell phone that was simply the sound of the baby crying.
I took daily vitamins, ate a balanced diet, avoided much, if any, drinking, and basically took that “eating for two” thing pretty seriously. As such, I probably took better care of myself than I had before children and in some seasons since breastfeeding has ceased.
That said, the fact that someone else depended on me was good for me. And taking care of my physical health, well, that was a pretty good thing, too.
And your life? Well, as a mom, you have a new life, shared with the people you love. It won’t be your “own”, but it will be good.
3. It really isn’t as long as it seems.
It’s so easy to count the days away, waiting for the baby to wean, start solids, sleep through the night. In the middle of it, it does seem like it will go on forever. But, it won’t.
That baby there will be eight years old next month. I still wear those pants. See? My Old Navy yoga pants have outlasted three babies breastfeeding. The time goes quickly!
The last nursing session will pass and you may or may not even realize that it’s the last. Last things are like that. They flee silently and quickly. And far sooner than you thought you were ready for them.
Life is like that.
4. It’s totally worth it.
Breastfeeding certainly wasn’t easy. I’ve had my share of late nights, mastitis, engorgement, blisters, and what-have-you. I probably cried and complained more than I remember. My life wasn’t my “own”, but despite the demands and the crying baby phone calls, it was good.
I had a closeness with my babies, an understanding of their needs, and a super power — that my husband did not possess — to comfort them when they needed me. It was very right for me to breastfeed, especially in keeping me connected with my kids and not off doing “projects” as I might have been drawn to, instead.
The days have passed all too quickly. I had a nursing baby for a good 12 to 13 years of my life. Yet, my baby-Baby is on her way to 4 years old. That last nursing session is long gone — and I do not remember it.
While I don’t believe I won any brownie points for breastfeeding, and I’m not sure that my kids’ more-or-less good health is attributed to nursing, I know that I do not regret it. Going without bottles or formula didn’t ruin us. I have wonderful memories of my breastfeeding daze. Amnesia? Perhaps. But, I know I would do it all over again.
And if it’s something you want, barring medical issues, I think you can do it, too.
Obviously, if you are away from your baby for the day due to work or school, then you’ll want to do that bottle thing, but don’t think it’s too hard to breastfeed exclusively. It really is doable!
It’s hard and it’s good at the same time.
That’s the mystery of motherhood.
If you’re a veteran mom, we would love to hear your breastfeeding story. I know that there are many situations where moms wish it had been different or better and many moms for whom breastfeeding did not work, despite their best intentions. I really want this post to be an encouragement to new moms. So, please temper any challenges you might want to share with a heavy dose of encouragement and optimism. Any bashing or absolute horror stories are subject to deletion. Thanks for understanding.
I’m with you in that I enjoyed nursing our five babies on their schedule. Our third was a more voracious eater and I couldn’t wait for him to be done nursing, but we made it through that year. :0) I had an added blessing from nursing in that our second son had severe food allergies. At three months, he had hives all over his body and at five months, he was diagnosed w/ allergies to milk, soy and corn – all foods found in formulas. Thankfully, I was able to stop eating those foods and we had a healthy baby again. I have alot of sweet memories and thankful I was able to take the time (not everyone can). You are right, even though it was 9 yrs of my life in pregnancy and nursing, it’s over and it now seems like a brief moment in time. Great post!
I agree wholeheartedly with this group of mothers: Breastfeeding your baby is something incredible, and words can barely convey the special experience shared between mother and baby while nursing.
I’ve been nursing mine for nearly seven months so far–and hope to be able to continue for the first year–despite being one of those mothers who physically cannot exclusively breastfeed.
I’m writing to encourage readers that even if you find yourself medically unable to exclusively breastfeed, it’s often still possible to nurse at least partially–it’s usually not all or nothing.
As someone who went into motherhood expecting a learning curve but also expecting to be able to exclusively breastfeed until starting solids, I was devastated when I discovered that I was among the rare group of women whose bodies did not develop properly enough during pregnancy to produce a full supply for their babies. I wish I had gone into motherhood more aware of the fact that some women physically can’t produce enough milk and that there was a possibility I could be one of them–if I had, I still would have worked for it, but perhaps I wouldn’t have been so heartbroken when it happened to me.
Here is my story, with hopes that it will encourage someone out there who finds herself in similar shoes yet still wants to breastfeed her baby.
I had no option but to start supplementing when my son was just three days old. For months, I worked with one of the best lactation consultants in town to boost my milk supply as much as I possibly could–I started by pumping after feedings to stimulate production, and then added herbal supplements (fenugreek, blessed thistle, goat’s rue), did a series of acupuncture sessions with an expert in women’s health, and then finally tried domperidone, a drug that often helps women with low milk supply. It was work, but totally worth it.
In those early months I wanted so badly to be able to breastfeed exclusively, but eventually accepted the fact that though I could not build a full production, I had worked so hard to boost my supply and that it did make a difference. Even if my son would continue having to drink formula, at least I had worked that hard to give him the best start with the breastmilk I was able to give him. Today he’s a healthy and growing boy who’s thriving. He loves nursing, and does it several times a day, and he also loves the bottle, which he eats voraciously.
My recommendation would be to go into motherhood expecting to be able to breastfeed exclusively, but also with an awareness of the various issues that might come up. Have the number for a lactation consultant on hand, and don’t hesitate making an appointment–it’s good to catch problems early so you can start fixing them right away. And finally, don’t give up. I worked so hard to get to this point, and it was all totally worth it.
I LOVE nursing babies, I could do it for the rest of my life. Well, if I haven’t had so many problems.
With every child has come mastitis (4 children) and plugged ducts averaging weekly (yes, seriously close) when nursing exclusively. I produce enough milk for twins, despite my original AA training bra size (which gets to a fabulous B if I’m lucky! lol)
Baby #1 I started a bottle during the day at 7months to ease the plugged ducts, and it worked. I still got the satisfaction of nursing at night (I LOVE not having to lose sleep when feeding babies).
Baby #2 Didn’t ever need supplements! This was fabulous.
Baby #3 Starved when I got mastitis at 2 months, so she had formula for a couple months until she wouldn’t take it anymore, evidently my milk was okay for her after 2 months of trying to boost.
This latest baby, #4, has changed my world. His latch was terrible (I homebirth, midwives aren’t lactation consultants, and the consultants are at the hospital). So after a week I went to the hospital to visit the consultant, risking mastitis, since mastitis is a Staph infection. (I can name exactly where I picked up staph every time I’ve had mastitis.)
She was a great help, but that night I got mastitis, and my milk supply dropped. But I didn’t know it. Next week’s baby check up (at 2 weeks) he was 1/2 # below birth weight (this NEVER happens with my babies). My midwife said he was a “silent starver.” So terribly sad!!! So we put him on formula and within a day he perked up, communicated and cried and moved more!
Well, 2 weeks old and on a bottle, this rocked my world as a hardcore nursing mamma. Then I realized that 3 of 4 babies have been supplemented. Humm. Well, as sad as I was that my experience wasn’t to my perfection, I chose to be THANKFUL that I would be able to nurse my boy a couple times a day and THANKFUL that there are options to easily and healthfully keep my boy growing strong 🙂 (even at $120/mo, ouch, thankfully we are almost done with that, he is 14 months). And on this schedule of a couple nursings per day, plugged ducts didn’t exist, I wasn’t producing enough to cause a problem.
I considered medication to up my supply, but I enjoyed being more comfortable. This may sound bad, but when you can’t even lay down in bed because the breast will shift and ducts will plug, it is nice to have less reasons to see the chiropractor or go crazy from lack of good sleep.
There was still problems, from his latch issues, nipples healing (bleeding, shields, pain). I still spent many hours hiding in my room trying to make the little bit work. I did this while 3 children 2, 4, and 6 were “raising themselves” in the other room. Thankful they can get PB & J for themselves, and are great kids, but still it was a difficult time, they needed more of me.
All in all, my perspective has shifted to being thankful for the time I have had nursing my babies, and thankful for the help when I need it 🙂
Wow, I only got plugged ducts when my daughter didn’t nurse enough, not the other way around! And I know some women produce perfectly well with baby at the breast but can’t pump a thimblefull. Just goes to show that it’s different every time!
Thanks for sharing! I’m pregnant with our first, and I’ve been wondering what to expect from breastfeeding.
My first 2 I was a working mom. I nursed them for the first 11 to 12 months. I had to supplement despite my “F” cups. I could only pump maybe 6-7 oz / day at work. Baby # 3 is now 9 months and has been exclusively nursed up until 4.5 months when she started grabbing for food and smacking her lips at the sight of food. I never could get her to take a bottle. It is hard. But it’s only for a couple more months, and she is probably my last baby, so I relish these moments.
I have nursed all 4 of my children. The first 2 I nursed for 6 months and worked full-time. Yes, I was that Mom that took the pump to work with the little mini cooler and thanks to accommodating bosses, took 2 nursing breaks during the day to keep my supply going. Yes, it was hard, but I was determined and after those first few weeks, it became much easier.
I gave birth to a stillborn son, Samuel as my 3rd child and I had enough milk to nurse the entire wing of babies at the hospital. THAT was painful!! In so many ways…
3 years later, I was blessed with twins. At 39 and already having suffered a stillbirth, I was immediately considered high risk. I nursed the twins for 4 months. It was very hard, because I only had about 45 minutes between feedings. Whew! But my Mom and my sister would spend the night (for 2 whole months). They would change, burp and put the babies back to sleep so I could get as much rest in between feedings as possible. I felt like the walking dead! Lol! But I didn’t have any problems nursing them other than the sheer time to took to nurse 2 babies! And I probably complained more than I should have as well because they both had colic! 🙁 But we did survive it!! I do remember days when we all cried and I would tell myself “I can do this — they are only going to be 8 weeks old for one week out of their whole lives!! I can do this!” Hahaha!
I also believe that if you want to do it, you can. If you try and it doesn’t work, praise God that your baby is healthy and don’t sweat it!! You have to do what is right for you, your baby and your sanity. If that’s not nursing, then no judgement here!! It IS hard, but it IS worth it!
God bless you in your decision — whatever it is!
Sigh. I hated every minute of breast feeding my first child. I wish someone had taken the time to tell me that I was having her latch on improperly. It was the worst 6 months of my life, really. I wondered why I hated this “natural thing, ” and felt like a bad mother. Actually, I felt like putting my foot through the floor every time she latched on. 🙂 The painful memories. haha. Honestly, I believe there needs to be serious doses of grace in the whole breast feeding discussion. We all want to be good moms, and sometimes it is this lack of grace that stops people from seeking help.
My oldest is 18 today. And I am totally going to commiserate with her when she starts nursing her own babies someday…or I am going to support her decision to bottle feed.
Great post and so true. I’m currently breastfeeding #5 and they’ve all nursed between 10 and 15 months. I don’t regret one single minute of it, and looking back it’s such a special time. Stick with it you’ll be glad you did.
So many encouraging stories! The breastfeeding journey is an unselfish one that’s for sure, though I would say my feeding formula wasn’t all selfish either. I was 19 when my daughter was born and completely new at everything. I got easily overwhelmed and didn’t try very hard. I will say that positive encouragement makes it easier for me to want to try better next time. Thanks for this post!
I was one of the fortunate ones who breast fed all four of my kids to about 13 months of age. I do miss the baby stage and it does go by too quickly. I miss the smell of baby feet, the smiles given while taking in that wonderful supply of milk. I also remember those first few weeks of “torture”. But in the end it was so worth all the pain, stretch marks and sagging that comes from that wonderful experience! 🙂 Just before we moved to a different state last year, I had saved one bag of frozen breast milk in the freezer and it really was sad when I had to throw it away. It was like the offical end of my baby stage!! So thankful for the memories!