Life with TWO Babies??
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Life with two babies is hard. But, it’s not a death sentence. It’s good, I promise.

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A reader asked recently,
I have a one year old and am expecting #2 in August. They will be 19 months apart. Any advice for juggling 2 babies so close together–and although this might sound crazy to you, I’m intimidated by the thought of going out alone (grocery store, etc.) with 2 babies. Any tips to ease my nerves? Thanks!
What a great question! I am convinced that one of the most difficult transitions in growing our family was when our second child was born. I distinctly remember sitting on the front porch bawling my eyes out, trying to explain to my husband how hard it was. Our little guy (the brainiac who knows Greek) was very active and started crawling at about 4 months of age. We were also remodeling our home and there was plenty of trouble for him to get into. He kept me on my toes, that is for sure.
The transition from being mommy to one to being mommy of two is certainly not without its challenges. Not only are you adjusting to getting to know another unique, little person, but you are also learning to divide your time between with two little ones who depend on you for so much.
Not only that, but parents need to move to “man-on-man defense.” With one child it is easy for one parent to go about independent projects while the other keeps watch of your child. With two kids, it really does seem like now you both have your hands full.
Your question doesn’t sound crazy to me at all. In fact, I think I face similar challenges when my older children are away with FishPapa, and I have the littlest ones to myself. Little people need more attention – that’s all there is to it.
Here are some things that helped me:
1. Meet the younger baby’s needs first. I know some people take the opposite tact, but I do believe that if we help our littlest ones to feel safe and secure, then they will be more confident as they grow and not need us as much when they are bigger. In meeting Baby’s needs for a fresh diaper, a nap, and a good feeding, you’re also modeling to your older child good parenting. Invite him to help you by bringing you a fresh diaper, the baby’s blanket, or a water bottle while you’re nursing. “Big kids” love to be included.
2. Make playtime a priority with your older child. Once baby is settled for awhile, sit down with your older child for purposeful play. Read a story, play playdough, or draw a picture. Make time with your older child very focused. Don’t ignore Baby — wear him in the sling or place him in a bouncy seat at your feet, but make sure that your older child also has a good share of “face time” with you.
3. Get a double stroller that you love. When my second child was born, my oldest was 3 1/2, so he had pretty much outgrown the stroller. But, Baby #3 was born nineteen months later. So my second and third babies had the spacing you’re talking about. I quickly learned that I had to have a double stroller. I thought I could do without one, but after holding one sleeping toddler in my arms, while pushing a full cart with a baby and older child through Walmart, I learned otherwise.
If you take both children on outings, use the double stroller. A lot of grocery items will fit in the basket below. For larger shopping trips, try to take only one child — or none, if Dad can swing caring for them both solo.
4. Preplan and pack accordingly before you leave the house. I imagine that you fear double meltdown (or double blow-outs) while you’re out and about. Cut this anxiety off at the pass by preplanning how to meet your kids’ needs while you’re away from home. Pack fun toys and snacks for your older child. Make sure everyone has a fresh diaper and that there arer plenty of supplies in the diaper bag. Give baby a good feeding before leaving the house. Avoid going somewhere during nap or mealtimes. Make your first solo outings adventures that are not necessary. Take a simple trip to the park as a trial run. Keep fine tuning your organization when it doesn’t really matter so that it has a better chance of going well when it does.
5. Expect the unexpected. As your family grows, so should your ability to roll with the punches. Expect that something may go other than you planned and pray for the grace to laugh at it when it does. That is part of life, and resiliency is a great thing to teach your kids. Keep that sense of humor — it’s critical!
Enjoy these days! My boys who are nineteen months apart are the best of friends. They share a room and are just the sweetest buddies – most of the time. Make a commitment to laugh at the days to come.
Especially when they’re all crying at once.
I certainly don’t have all the answers. Got some good advice for this new mom? Share what has worked for you in the comments.
I second the double stroller that you love! I went through several until I found I LOVED the BOB double jogger, and it was worth the price – even on craigslist it was quite expensive, but it’s our second home! I am pregnant with my 4th child. My oldest is 4 but will be 5. My first 3 are each 18 months apart and there will be a 2 year span between my youngest and this next baby. Hardest.thing.I.have.ever.done – but also the greatest thing I have ever done! My kiddos are best friends and I wouldn’t spread them any further if I could – but yes, it’s hard! My advice, learn to let “stuff” go and focus on enjoying your babies!
Our number 2 and 3 are 17months apart. Firstly, can I say it is hard work! Really hard. All the advice is so great, and we did many of these things – but some days you ca expect to feel completely thwarted by life. It really does get better though. I remember feeling like it would never end, and adjusting just wouldn’t happen – but it really did. Our youngest is now 2, and our kids are such a joy! I don’t want to be a downer, I just want you all to know that when you have those desperately hard days. Others have been right there.
We decided right from day one, that I wouldn’t go out for the grocery shop – we used an online service (we are in the UK, so our big grocery store offers to deliver for between £3.50 and £5.50 – and I can choose any 2 hour time slot I like) I could do my shopping wherever fit in – lots of time if I was up late nursing that was when I chose to do it. Once I started doing the online shop, the store started sending me vouchers to use online too.
Honestly stay connected with friends. I know it is hard to get out and spoil the routine – but even though I’m an introvert, and recharge from alone time – I have friends that I share this crazy life – who when it is hard, when I feel overwhelmed, when I feel like a failure will come and rub my back, remind me of all the things I’m doing well and will set me back on the right track.
Great tips! Thank you for adding that realism, too.
My youngest two were 17.5 months apart. I took care of the baby’s needs first, as you say, but I also tried to involve the older one in helping to care for the baby by getting a diaper, etc. I also put them on the same sleep schedule. Both girls took a nap at the same time in the morning and the afternoon. Finally, when the baby was about 4 months old, I played with both of them for about 30 to 45 minutes together. Then, if I had to take the baby with me in the kitchen to do dishes, her big sister was happy to play alone for a while. Later, when baby was bigger, the two girls would play together. This always worked best after I had spent quite a bit of time with them first.