My Christmas Debrief

wins, losses, and what I want to do next year

It’s been a month. Seriously. Cramming Thanksgiving and Christmas into a little more than 4 weeks is hard. So much to do!

I took some video but few pictures this year, so I don’t have much to scroll through to tease my memories later. I spent a lot of time “making” and not enough time documenting this year.

This year it’s hit home very clearly that we are in the Lasts. Since our kids are all poised on the edge, so to speak, of adulthood and independence, we are now in the last Thanksgivings, last Christmases, last New Years of everyone being together.

You never know when it’s the Last until it’s already happened, so I’m preparing myself now. Part of that means being honest with myself to make our fleeting time together special.

As I recommended yesterday, it’s good to debrief your holidays. Here’s mine:

7 Questions to Serve Me Better Next Year

What went well? Did I enjoy good times with friends and family?

I think we had some really good times as a family this holiday season. Here are some of the things that we did this year as well as gifts I gave and meals I made:

• fully homemade Thanksgiving – really tired by the end of it, but it was delicious.

• The popcorn and cranberry garland – My youngest daughter taught herself to crochet this year. When I saw this garland on IG, she quickly agreed to make me one. We found the last strand of cranberry beads at Hobby Lobby and it turned out wonderful. (Scroll down for a picture of the tree).

• spent the standard $100/kid on gifts – several just wanted gift cards so that made shopping easy and… weird, but they were happy (I think).

• discovered this amazing trick for using up wrapping paper scraps to make bows.

• bought Bryan a Ninja Creami which he had talked about more than once, not something he usually does. He seems pleased, though he is quick to suggest we return something that might be pricey.

• bought wooden bird houses so we could craft together on First Christmas Eve (just our in-house family) – they were so much fun and each house is unique. Was inspired by this idea.

• 1st Christmas Day activity at breakfast – played what we’ll now call The Mug Game because I cut out these questions and put them in my big Christmas mug. It was really interesting to hear the kids’ and parents’ responses. The questions range from simple and silly to deep and though-provoking.

• Book gifts – once we finished with the questions, each person got to choose one of the books. Most got a book they were very happy with, so that felt rather serendipitous.

• Breakfasts – froze scones and muffins and premade egg bakes so breakfasts were easy!

• 1st Christmas Dinner – I learned from Thanksgiving to make the meal be at dinnertime. Lunch was an easy snacky lunch while dinner was even easier with Cajun Seasoned Tri-tip, Cheesy Potatoes, and Caesar Salad.

• 2nd Christmas Eve – Tamales were a big hit, even though I made them at the very last minute and was really wore out in the process.

• 2nd Christmas Day – Played the Mug Game again at breakfast, had a fun time with stockings and tree presents. Took a long walk, ate snacky for lunch, tamale leftovers for dinner.

• Games – now that we’re in the habit of regular game nights with the kids’ friends and have games stocked in the living room, games are more often and more fun. Girls played Mexican Train Dominoes while boys played Magic: The Gathering. We also inaugurated a new Blokus set.

How did others respond?

Three kids were sick over Christmas so that was not fun, and involved the mental gymnastics of wondering if we should cancel or not with extended family traveling in. We made the best of it and hope no one catches our colds.

Overall, I think my family enjoyed most of the things we did this season. The bird houses and Mug Game were big hits!

There was one disastrous gift that I was excited to give that bombed miserably. The receiver responded with neither the joy I had hoped for nor the graciousness I would have expected.

Motherhood is allllll about managing expectations, folks, yours and the kids’

That definitely has me rethinking gifts for everyone. See next year’s possibilities below.

Another response that I’m chewing on is the comment that I never sat down the whole time. This is not entirely true, but close, and not because I wanted it this way.

Plenty of guests/family offered to help, but it’s too much work to explain the workings of my kitchen when something needs to get done. I’m thinking that next time when someone asks if they can do something, I might suggest that they take on a meal. I’m not sure what that would look like exactly (fast food, maybe?) but that would certainly allow me some sitting time.

What am I proud of from these last few months?

There were some really hard moments over this last month between Thanksgiving and Christmas, some that really had me on the edge — not because they were so bad — but because my mental load just got so heavy.

I’m proud for not losing it at anyone and for withdrawing myself from public when it got to be too much. Calling a friend experienced at talking me off the ledge or going for a walk with an adult child were really helpful in my managing my emotions.

What stressed me out? Are there things that I regret?

I felt rushed all month long. Part of that was due to health issues, part work, and part that I’ve never caught up from moving in September. There’s just always a lot going on and I don’t feel like I can catch a break.

As I mentioned awhile back, I’m thinking and planning now how I want to be and act different next year.

I’m analyzing my business (something that got the short end of the stick this season) so that I can carve more space in my schedule next year between Thanksgiving and Christmas.

I regret not having done more of my Advent devotionals. I got about halfway through (not daily) but I know the season would have felt more meaningful with regular time.

What will I do differently next time?

• Take more pictures! We are in the lasts and I want to remember them. If I can simplify and organize a bit more over the next year, I can maybe have more brain space for documenting it all.

• Thanksgiving – simplify and/or include more cooks in the process somehow.

• kids’ gifts – Choose one meaningful gift to unwrap (ie a sure bet) then place the balance of the budgeted amount in a gift card.

• bird houses – Repeat! Some kids are already talking about what they’ll do differently next time. I may try to get some like these.

• The Mug Game – definitely a keeper.

• Book gifts – also a keeper, but also only dependent on when we celebrate as a full family. If we celebrate Christmas together, we don’t need an extra gift game.

• Meals – definitely keep them simple and make time to do make-ahead stuff. The premade breakfasts were such a help. I was running full speed all fall it seems and never had down time. While tamales are best fresh, it’s just not fun to make them on Christmas Eve.

What do I want to do next year? Did I think of a brilliant idea but it was too late to really see it through?

Fatigue got the better of me this season. I felt rushed all month long. You know this. I’ve whined about it before.

I don’t want to feel rushed this next year. Part of the solution is to take better care of myself and to pace myself.

I am going to continue to spend the 25th of every month (or thereabouts) thinking and planning the holidays. It was a game changer in many ways this past year!

I am also wondering if we can find an affordable vacation location so that the weight of holiday celebrations is lighter. Not sure what that would look like, but somewhere not at home sounds really nice right now.

I never got around to making gifts for the neighbors. I usually do this for New Year’s but I’m not sure I have it in me. We’ll see. Next year I want to prepare in advance. These simmer kits look fun — and not just another sweet thing to bake! I’m also considering baking sourdough bread boules.

I also want to have something ready to give to the gardeners (remember we rent and it’s included) as well as the delivery people.

What recipes do I want to make again?

We all know where I keep my recipes, lol. There are so many yummy holiday recipes I enjoy that it’s hard to decide each year. Currently all things cranberry make me happy.

This year I played with my Cranberry Scone recipe, using white chocolate instead of dark, adding pecans, cardamom, and ginger. They are amazing! Definitely getting those in the holiday rotation once I perfect the amounts of everything.

More Good Ideas for Christmas