How to Avoid a Stressful Christmas

It’s the most wonderful time of the year….

The holiday season is supposed to be the most wonderful time of year, but too often we find ourselves with a stressful Christmas experience. Our dreams of sugar plums are dashed by the hustle, bustle, and general holiday stress that is all too common during the final months of the year.

You’re overbooked, underbudgeted, and spending more energy that you really have, even on a regular day. Surely, there’s a better way to spend the holiday season?

While there’s no such thing as a perfect Christmas celebration, there are strategies we can use to enjoy a festive season with loved ones without wreaking havoc on our calendars, our bank accounts, or our mental health.

A funny guy once said, “Boy, the holidays are rough. Every year I just try to get from the day before Thanksgiving to the day after New Year’s.”

The potential is certainly there to shift into “survival mode” from November to January 2nd, but it doesn’t have to be that way. 

Now is the time to be proactive and make the coming weeks memorable and meaningful. What can you do to plan for a restful holiday season and avoid a stressful Christmas?

(Yes, I know it’s only October, but I think the time will go by more quickly than you think. Start planning now and you’ll have a healthy chance at enjoying the holidays the way you want to!)

What is Stress?

The dictionary defines stress as “physical, mental, or emotional strain or tension”. Stress, in and of itself is not bad as it causes us to grow and learn and change.

While the Bible doesn’t use the term stress, it does address things like worry, anger, and anxiety. These are often the things that most of us associate with a stressful Christmas.

Why Manage Christmas Stress

You’re making memories. For better or worse, you are making memories with your kids, spouse, extended family, and friends over the holidays. Do you want them to remember you as the Grinch who stole Christmas? Or the kind mom who had good things planned for the holidays and was able not to crash out before Christmas Day?

It’s better for you. When you manage your stressful Christmas feelings in healthy ways, you will not only enjoy the season more, but you’ll be caring for your body. Modern medicine hasn’t got it all figured out, but it’s clear that anxiety, worry, and anger can have negative effects on our bodies.

God tells you to. Probably most importantly, the Bible instructs that we’re to be anxious for nothing. Getting a handle on our emotions is a good thing, no matter the season. 

What Makes It a Stressful Christmas?

Let’s get a game plan in action so that we not only avoid a stressful Christmas (and Thanksgiving and New Year’s), but enjoy and celebrate the season. If we are to be the aroma of Christ, let’s not have a long face at the holidays.

Consider what stresses you out.

If you want a restful holiday season instead of a stressful Christmas, you’ll need to identify your triggers. What are the things that tempt you to lose your cool?

It could be lack of funds, lack of time, overwhelm at all there is to do. Maybe traveling as a family at the holiday makes you anxious. Maybe some of those people you see once a year tempt your patience mightily.

Think through holidays past: when did you want to hit the fast forward button and make it all disappear?

Once you identify some of the triggers that lead you to stress, you can brainstorm some solutions and get some plans in action.

Does money cause you to worry? Then set a holiday budget and set yourself up for following it. Do some planning and research to see if you can really save on Black Friday or if it’s better off skipping.

This might mean paying in cash to limit what you spend or avoiding online shopping if you tend to click around more than the budget would allow. Maybe you’ll do a pantry challenge to save some more money for holiday spending.

Do you feel guilty for working too much and not spending time with your kids? Are you looking for ways to capture sweet memories with your kids?

Then consider ways to play more games, read more Christmas books, and unplug a little more in the coming weeks so you can avoid a stressful Christmas.

Get creative in managing your calendar so that you have more downtime. Revisit your time budget and eliminate some things this holiday season.

Will cooking a big meal send you into a frenzy? How can you simplify your holiday meal? Do some freezer meal prep or plan easy crockpot recipes and take a load off.

Your triggers may not be on this list. If that’s the case, have a chat with others who can help, such as your husband, friends, family, or other trusted counselor.

Identify Your Priorities

It’s important to know what triggers you so you can respond appropriately or avoid the trigger altogether. But, it’s equally important to know your priorities for the Christmas season.

When you know what’s most important to you, you have freedom to say NO to the things that conflict with those priorities. This limits the chaos of a stressful Christmas because you won’t be contending with challenges you didn’t choose.

Just this week I busted out my Holiday Success Kit to start planning. I decided that my family, my physical health, and our finances would be priorities this year.

Knowing this now allows me to get clear on where to focus my attention. Anything that would work contrary to these things doesn’t get included in our holiday celebrations.

Build More Restful Moments

Once we’ve figured out our triggers and brainstormed some solutions, it can be helpful to add in experiences that will have a calming effect.

Have you been burning the candle at both ends in everyday life? Does this mean that November and December will be more harried for you? That could very well lead to a stressful Christmas. Just say, “No.” Now.

Put margin into your life. Go to sleep earlier. Sleep a little later. Exercise. Drink lots of water. And prioritize. 

Even if you don’t do Self Care Sundays on a regular basis, carve out some space in your schedule to make it a priority now. It will contribute to a more restful holiday season.

Do family get-togethers hinder your restfulness during this time of year? Discuss this with your spouse now and problem-solve together.

Maybe plan a vacay day together to ease the Christmas stress for both of you. Be sure to check out ways to care for your spouse at the holidays so he doesn’t feel neglected during this busier season.

Manage your holiday commitments better. Maybe you decide NOT to make four stops at family’s homes on Christmas Eve and two more the next day. If staying home gives you peace, then this is the year to be peaceful!

Spend your days in ways that help you experience a restful holiday.

Watch your inputs.

What are you listening to? Watching? Reading? These can all have a positive — or negative — effect on your peace of mind.

If your feed is full of expensive decor and fashion, angry politics, or influencers trying to sell you stuff, it very well may feed your Christmas stress and anxiety.

Take a few minutes to unfollow or mute the accounts that don’t help you feel peaceful. If they aren’t helping you toward your goals, if it contributes to your feelings of a stressful Christmas, then they don’t deserve space in your feed.

At the same time, turn your media consumption toward things that will be helpful. Put down the phone and pick up an Advent devotional.

Remember your limits.

You can’t do it all. Sometimes what sounds good in November has you pulling your hair out a few weeks later. Be okay with changing your plans midstream and saying no so that you can avoid a stressful Christmas.

Be practical and revisit your goals. Is this restful? Is this memorable — in a good way? Is this meaningful? 

If an activity doesn’t fit that criteria and can be avoided, well, I say, “Ditch it.”

Enough is as good as a feast. So says Ma Ingalls, and I agree. You don’t need to go overboard. Your cheery disposition will bless your family more than any sugarplums can.

Pray for help.

Start praying now for wisdom as to how to spend your holiday season. God will listen and guide you!

I know from experience that when I set off on plans and adventures, those plans and adventures have a much better way of turning out well if I’ve spent time praying and reflecting first. This isn’t because I’ve manipulated God. That isn’t a thing.

Instead, when I take my hopes and plans to God, He shows me the right way to go. He changes my desires to better fit me and my family. Often, He shows me a different point of view I hadn’t considered.

By His Spirit, He clues me into folly that might await me if I go “my” way. He can truly provide a blessed holiday without the Christmas stress.

CS Lewis said, “I pray because I can’t help myself. I pray because I’m helpless. I pray because the need flows out of me all the time — waking and sleeping. It doesn’t change God — it changes me.

Prayer is not about us getting what we want. It’s about God changing us to want what is good for us. 

The mind of man plans his way, But the LORD directs his steps. Proverbs 16:9

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If Christmas is about Jesus, then how much more should we make an effort to manage our emotions in healthy ways? We have all we need in Christ, so we can handle the increased activity and celebration that comes with Christmas.

I’d love to hear what works for you! Leave a comment below and let’s chat. Got a stressful Christmas challenge you can’t solve? Let’s workshop it. See ya in the comments.