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Is It Selfish to Take Care of YOU? Or is it Selfish Not To?

Is it selfish to take care of you? Or is it selfish NOT to? Let’s discuss this super important topic in the life of a mom.

Is It Selfish to Take Care of YOU? Life as Mom

In some ways I’ve always been an overachiever. My mom and I laugh that my blood type is A+ because that kinda reflects my personality and life goals as a young person. I wanted to be THE BEST at everything.

Becoming a mom didn’t change anything. I wanted to be THE BEST MOM. At one time that meant getting up early, staying up late, and sacrificing self-care in order “not to be selfish”. I was gonna give until everything was gone.

Seriously. I thought it was selfish to do something for yourself. When our third baby was born, just 19 months after our second, I refused to take naps if my toddler was awake. Even though my mom was there to care for him, I felt like I would be short-changing him if I didn’t spend those couple hours with him. Forget the fact that I was up more in the night with him than I was the newborn; I didn’t want him to have less than a perfect childhood.

Well, you can guess how that plan turned out. Yep. He’s had an imperfect childhood. Shocker.

I remember older moms telling me that I needed to have “ME time,” but I didn’t pay any attention to them. I had a friend who was constantly leaving her husband and babies for girls weekends with her friends. That model of “me time” just looked selfish.

And it can be. But that doesn’t mean that it is.

Is It Selfish to Take Care of YOU?

Is It Selfish to Take Care of YOU? Life as Mom

Is it selfish to take care of YOU?

This is a question that I’ve wrestled with these last 20+ years of motherhood. Yes, my firstborn turned 20 in June. Wow! It went by fast.

It wasn’t until I had my own health crisis that I realized it was selfish NOT to take care of me.

When the severity of my hyperthyroidism wasn’t yet diagnosed, my thoughts, of course, went to worse case scenarios. The idea of NOT being able to care for my family or live my life independently was hugely sobering. Particularly when I look back at the years prior and how I had pushed my body far past its limit, staying up late, working hard, drinking lots of caffeine, and otherwise, NOT making a point to rest and take care of myself.

If you don’t already have a practice of taking time out from your daily grind, resting abundantly, exercising, and pampering yourself every once in awhile, can I give you permission to do so?

While we don’t know the causes of my hyperthyroidism, and while it is manageable with drugs, I wish I had made some different choices five to ten years ago.

Let mine, mild though it may be, be YOUR CAUTIONARY TALE.

Is It Selfish to Take Care of YOU? Life as Mom

You need to take care of you.

And while it may feel selfish, I think you need to make it a priority. Talk with your husband and see what he thinks. Chances are he’ll agree. And he and your whole family will benefit.

When our four boys were 8 and under, my husband recognized that I was getting strung out. He instituted my Mom’s morning off. I left every Saturday morning with the instruction to do whatever I wanted — as long as I was back at lunchtime and had a meal plan. 😉

It was my saving grace. I could make it through the week, giving my little heart out, knowing I could recharge with alone time on Saturday.

My later health issues, the ones I just told you about, were of my own making. I had given up my Saturdays, had started my own business, had signed four cookbook contracts, and has otherwise decided that I could Wonder Woman through my days. I didn’t want my work to take away from my family, so I let it take away from taking care of ME.

I’ve learned my lesson. I want to be around and functioning when my kids are grown. I want to see those grankids who’ll be here before we know it. I’ve learned to take care of me.

So, now what do I do?

  • I delegate more tasks to my husband and children.
  • I go to bed by 9 pm most nights.
  • I exercise. Well, at least more than I used to.
  • I watch what I eat and don’t eat much sugar.
  • I make a point to have down time, even though my to-do list might say otherwise.

And you need to, too.

Is It Selfish to Take Care of YOU? Life as Mom

I want to encourage you to treat yourself to some rest and relaxation in the new year. Not only that, how about some direction and encouragement?

Being a mom is hard. Being a good mom is harder still. You can no longer run on fumes.

Have you been “making do” for far too long?

Burning the candle at both ends, trying to make your limited resources stretch to fit?

Hoping for a Fairy Godmother to wave her magic wand over your home and schedule?

Stop wishing and start making yourself A PRIORITY.

The Digital Goodie Box for Moms provides you with the tools, ideas, and time-testing strategies you need to TRANSFORM your daily tasks from drudgery to delight.

As a work-from-home, homeschooling mom of 6 kids, I well understand the trials and tribulations of managing a home, keeping food on the table, and getting everyone to their appropriate practice/recital/game/class on time. Not to mention taking care of ME so I don’t run myself ragged in the process.

I’ve spent the last ten years troubleshooting my meal plans and housekeeping systems so that I can enjoy family time, great meals, a balanced budget, and a few peaceful moments to myself. I’ve created a host of digital products to help YOU do the same:

MAKE THE MOST OF WHAT YOU HAVE!

Is It Selfish to Take Care of YOU? Life as Mom

What if you could…

  • Plan nutritious and delicious meals that the kids not only eat, but actually LOVE?
  • Grocery shop in a way that saves your budget and fills the cupboards?
  • Organize your days so that the important things actually get done?
  • Equip your children to be self-sufficient, contributing members of the household?
  • And even find time to relax and not worry about that endless to-do list?

With a year’s subscription to the Digital Goodie Box for Moms, you’ll receive monthly deliveries of surprise digital goodies, including planning resources, meal plans, ebooks, organizing tools and fun-just-for-Mom goodies.

You’ll be set up for success to save time and money on the homefront and ENJOY your day-to-day.

Each month’s delivery will be valued at a minimum of $30. For a limited time get a year’s membership for only $100! That’s less than $2 a week to TREAT YOURSELF to a load of goodies that will make your life as mom easier, more efficient, and WAY MORE FUN.

Don’t drag around a day late and a dollar short. Get the Digital Goodie Box for Moms and make your year the best ever!

Special pre-order bonus!

When you pre-order the 2018 Digital Goodie Box for Moms, you’ll have instant access to a super fun BONUS month welcome package, including the 2018 Print & Go Plannerthe Mom Food: Lunches mini meal plan, and a beautiful hand-illustrated printable featuring Psalm 139.

Then, starting on January 1, you’ll receive exclusive and/or priority access to digital resources to help you in your life as Mom.

Each surprise monthly digital package has been designed around a theme to encourage you in your walk as a mother and woman and to equip you to better manage your household all year long. Some of the many titles* included in your 2018 membership:

  • SOP’s eCourse
  • Zone Defense ebook
  • Instant Party Kits
  • Mini Freezer Cooking Plans
  • Instant Spring Break for Moms and Kids
  • Slash Your Grocery Spending ebook
  • Self-Care for Summer kit

*The selection is subject to change. Head here to read the FAQs.

Is It Selfish to Take Care of YOU? Life as Mom

Is it selfish to take care of you? Life as Mom

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Comments

  1. Mom’s Mornings Off – How kind and thoughtful of your husband! I take care of me by waking up early in the mornings to have quiet alone time. I desperately need alone time! But taking time to myself during the day would be a real treat. I don’t mind bringing home lunch. Maybe I could mention this Mom’s Mornings Off to my husband. 🙂

  2. I was a do it all mom to the point of starting a daycare so I could always be home for my children. It was a good life up until I wasn’t earning enough money to pay our mortgage. Enter the second job at night. This worked until my children said they were tired of me being tired all the time. Sometimes you learn the hard way that what you are doing isn’t the right thing.

  3. I attending a seminar recently where the topic of self-care was brought up. The presenter use the example of what you’re supposed to do if the oxygen masks drop on a flight. You put yours on first then assist your children, because if you can’t breathe, you can’t help anyone else. Are you selfish for wanting to breathe? I thought this was a good analogy.

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