Unappreciated Gifts? (Frugal Friday)
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How do we as parents handle unappreciated gifts?
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I think that my parents and my sisters will recall the Christmas of Disappointment. It’s also referred to as the-Christmas-when-my-sister-wanted-a-Cabbage-Patch-doll-but-my-brother-who-couldn’t-care-less-got-one-instead-and-my-sister-bawled-her-eyes-out.
Yes, that.
My guess is that if you’ve lived in the US for any number of years, you’ve probably encountered, parented, or even been the child who was disappointed on Christmas morning.
That is the hazard of giving gifts — and having expectations — on Christmas morning.
(I don’t personally recall a Christmas like that, but the birthday when my mom got me an autoharp instead of a Commodore 64 computer? Yeah, well, that comes close.)
It’s better to give than to receive.
It is better to give gifts that to get them in return. Disappointments happen in life. There are much worse situations than not getting what you want on Christmas.
We’re so blessed in so many ways, that it seems silly to even mention it.
But, honestly? I know this is an issue to tackle. I don’t want my kids to be disappointed when someone gives them gifts. I hope and pray that their hearts will be as thankful as their words. But, I know that that monster of disappointment will rear its head. And I want to know how to respond.
I also know that despite best intentions (mine included), the gifts are not always appropriate or needed. You don’t want to waste a perfectly good item; you don’t want to keep something that you don’t need or want. There’s a quandary there.
Saving money is worthless if we aren’t thankful for what we have. Being frugal is to make the most of one’s resources, not be a grumpy old miser about our precious stuff. One of the fringe benefits is (hopefully) to share with others.
And yet there’s that question:
What do we do with unappreciated gifts?
I honestly don’t have a lot of answers. Donating them comes to mind. I know some people regift them. Others return them to the store without any qualms. Making sure my kids write thank you notes figures prominently.
How do we express thankfulness without being saddled with an item that is unnecessary, wrong size, or simply unappreciated?
I’d love to hear what you do.
How do you tackle the topic of unappreciated gifts at your house?
How do YOU save money?
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When my husband and I lived in California–we were expected to come “home” and visit and buy gifts for everyone–the cost of airfare and gifts just about put us in the poor house. So the next year we had to stay in CA and the expectation is that we would ship all the gifts (for 21 people). . . which was also expensive and nerve wracking. As my husband and I opened envelopes with gift cards . . . I felt deflated. So the following year we ended up moving back to my hometown–and I decided that I was not going to get gifts for adults–only for kids.
My decision was not well received.
Now I give gifts out of love and not out of obligation. I hope that my friends and family do the same . . . some do, some don’t. But I don’t stay awake at night trying to make life “even Steven.”
Be Blessed.
My worst gift ever was from my MIL. She gave me a set of four coffee mugs, which were nice, that were used and still had some coffee dried up in the bottom. Of course I graciously said thank you and they were great. Driving home that night I told my dh and we had a good laugh about it. I did keep the cups after they were washed.
I taught my girls to always say thank you for the present because the person giving the present wants to make you happy. I have returned some gifts to the store that were not appropriate to our family, like makeup for a seven year old. If I decided to keep the gilts to regift I would give the girls the money to buy something they wanted. They had quite a few girl friends that were their age so it worked for us. Most of these gifts were from relatives they only saw once or twice a year so it worked out okay.