Just Do the Best You Can
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This post was originally published on March 2, 2013. It still works for me. Just do the best you can with the tools and information God has given you.
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When I was younger, life seemed rather straightforward. You grow up, you go to college, you find a job, you get married, you have kids, you live happily ever after. As a woman I see that this is more or less life, but there are lots of hills, valleys, and bumps in the road.
As a mom, I see it to be much more complicated. I feel a responsibility to help my kids be on the right road. While I’m not ancient, I do know that in my 40 years of life, the world has changed tremendously.
The internet didn’t exist when I was a child and was not quite up to speed when I was in graduate school. A Commodore 64 was my dream computer at age 10. When my husband and I first met, cell phones were for doctors and drug dealers, well, for drug dealers, either way. Media consisted of TV, radio, and print. And college was a given. You just went. If you ever hoped to be somebody, you went to college.
Yes, the world has changed, indeed, dramatically so in the years since I timidly set foot on a college campus as a freshman.
I asked FishPapa this week on date night, “Where do you see FishBoy 15 in 2 years?”
We both get the deer in the headlights look over that. Our first born will be “on his own” in two very short years. And we have no idea what that looks like. Is college the end-all, be-all for our kids? Have we prepped them for the world? How do we guide them into this ever-changing future?
Have we done it right?
Neither of us has the answers. Without a college degree, my husband has supported our family for close to 20 years, despite the changes in the world. I, on the other hand, have a graduate degree that I’m technically “not using”. Does college really matter? We don’t know.
My husband said, “We raise them to be polite, kind, and responsible. We give them good food and a loving home, a stable environment. We can’t do it perfectly because we don’t know what perfect it. I think we just do the best we can and be okay with that. We love them. God is bigger than whatever we could plan to do.”
In that moment, I felt an enormous sense of peace. Just do the best we can.
That’s all we can ever really do, isn’t it? We can plan and hope and dream. But, ultimately, in spite of us or our failings, God leads the path. He can right our wrongs and catch our fumbles. The best laid plans are no match for God’s hopes for our futures. And that of our children.
Just do the best you can.
I have sought your face with all my heart;
be gracious to me according to your promise.
I have considered my ways
and have turned my steps to your statutes.
I will hasten and not delay
to obey your commands.
Hold tightly to a man who will speak words of encouragement when it is needed. What a great example to this children.
He is a good man. 😉
I graduated from college and then stayed home for 10 years to be a stay at home mom. I kind of apologized to my parents for not using my degree. My dad said he didn’t feel like it was a waste because he was glad to know his grandchildren had an educated mother. You use what you learned in college. You use how to research, you use stuff about education. You learned how to think. You probably use what you learned more than you realize. You are a better teacher to your children because you have that. It’s not a bad thing to have a degree and not use it. It’s also not a bad thing to not have a degree. I now have a Master’s degree–and am actually using it and loving it. My husband (no degree) has had a job for 14 years–and I have had mine for about 5–and we are making the same pay. He has a lot of experience and common sense and problem solving skills–none of which you can really learn in school. I like the theme of this. Just do the best you can… Our son (15) will probably not go to college. He is more technically minded. Our daughter (12) already knows where she wants to go to college and what she wants to be. I figure that may change a bit in the next 10 years, but she probably will go to and graduate from college. Different things work for different people! Use the gifts God gave you and do the best you can with them! 🙂
Makes me think of song. I have a destiny!
Hmmmm, a graduate degree not using, have one of those too.
Hmmm, do the best you can. Now that is a very profound thought for me, I regularly think, not doing right, not doing enough, hmmm, who am I really listening too??? Clearly, not my Father God, Adonai.
A breath of fresh air for me today.
Thank you for this post. It is comforting to know that no matter what, God has wonderful plans for our children, in spite of us.
Sometimes one post can just ease your mind….this is one of them. With a daughter in college & a junior in high school looking at colleges this post hit home. And your right Ive raised them right doing the best I can and now it is up to them with Gods help to keep going on the right path. thanks for you nblog!!!
Awww, so glad to hear it. Hang in there, mama!
Just a plain old thank you.It hit the spot. Yes, I teared up!
wow, what a wonderful post. thank you. i find myself in a similar place right now. i drive myself crazy thinking about all the things i should be doing to prepare my kids for an unknown future. but as you said, when in comes right down to it, God is in control. he knows what my children need far more than i do — if i could just get it into my head that my job is to do the best i can and know that he will take care of the rest, i’m sure there would be much more peace in our home. thanks again.