Breastfeeding Expectations Plus My Story of Nursing 6 Babies
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Exclusive breastfeeding for the first six months is generally recommended. Today I share my story with breastfeeding as well as what a new mom might expect.
This post was originally posted on May 1, 2012. The comments are so rich with experiences from a wonderful group of ladies who were kind enough to share their stories, I thought it would be good to bump this to the top.
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I breastfed all six kids. Exclusively. For the first six months.
I don’t say that to brag. I know many, many women who for a variety of reasons are unable to make breastfeeding work for them and their families. And I totally respect that.
The key principle is that your baby is well fed. Methods may differ.
Rather, I share my story because I want to give hope to new moms out there.
I know that I am probably in a minority in how I fed my babies. Recently, I read some statistics that showed me what a small population out there does six months exclusive breastfeeding. Recommended, but not often done.
I didn’t set out to do it any “special” way. I was not/am not a militant “breast is best” proponent. I never attended a La Leche League meeting. I only got halfway through the big breastfeeding handbooks, and then I felt like I was doing it all wrong.
But, I was the milk wagon for my babies. And I lived to tell the tale.
For the first six months of their lives, I continued to “eat for two” and be their main, no, their only source of sustenance.
Folks warned us with our first baby that if we didn’t give him a bottle in the first six weeks that he would never take one. The implication was that our lives would be ruined. Forever.
Honestly, it was so difficult and painful in those first few weeks of nursing, there was no way I was going to jeopardize his latch or my milk supply (so hard earned by that point) so that maybe, someday, we might leave him home with a babysitter for longer than two hours.
The first one never got a bottle. Neither did the others. At six months of age, they started some solids and started to learn about sippy cups with water. They nursed until they were a year old.
This isn’t the “right” way. This is just the way we did it.
Granted, I was a homebody. And I had chosen to be a stay-at-home mom. My expectations were simply that I would breastfeed my baby. So I did.
Did I go away for the weekend with my girl friends? No, but I never did that before he was born, either. Did I feel annoyed that he wanted to nurse every two to three hours? No, my type-A self needed someone to make me sit and rest before I overdid it. Did I spend lots of money on nursing clothes? No, tshirts and jeans have been my uniform for years.
Breastfeeding felt natural. At least, thank the Lord, after those first three weeks. Once you get through the “bite-your-lip-and-suffer-through-the-pain” stage. Yeah, I know, it’s not supposed to be painful. But, it was for a time. Just saying.
So, if you’re a new or expecting mom interested in breastfeeding your baby, here are some things to consider:
1. It probably won’t be easy.
Few good things in life are “easy,” especially those things that you are just learning. Be prepared for challenges and setbacks.
This applies to breastfeeding, but yes, it basically applies to your entire parenting career, too. Just when you think you’ve got it figured out, your baby will have a growth spurt, cut a tooth, get sick, or learn to drive.
Be ready to be challenged.
2. Your life won’t be your own.
Since I chose exclusive breastfeeding, mostly on demand, and opted out of bottle feeding, my time was not my own. Neither was my diet. I knew that if I went someplace without the baby, I would need to be back within the three hour window. With practice and planning, I was still able to get out and do things, but I was mindful that someone else depended on me.
And that I might get a call on my cell phone that was simply the sound of the baby crying.
I took daily vitamins, ate a balanced diet, avoided much, if any, drinking, and basically took that “eating for two” thing pretty seriously. As such, I probably took better care of myself than I had before children and in some seasons since breastfeeding has ceased.
That said, the fact that someone else depended on me was good for me. And taking care of my physical health, well, that was a pretty good thing, too.
And your life? Well, as a mom, you have a new life, shared with the people you love. It won’t be your “own”, but it will be good.
3. It really isn’t as long as it seems.
It’s so easy to count the days away, waiting for the baby to wean, start solids, sleep through the night. In the middle of it, it does seem like it will go on forever. But, it won’t.
That baby there will be eight years old next month. I still wear those pants. See? My Old Navy yoga pants have outlasted three babies breastfeeding. The time goes quickly!
The last nursing session will pass and you may or may not even realize that it’s the last. Last things are like that. They flee silently and quickly. And far sooner than you thought you were ready for them.
Life is like that.
4. It’s totally worth it.
Breastfeeding certainly wasn’t easy. I’ve had my share of late nights, mastitis, engorgement, blisters, and what-have-you. I probably cried and complained more than I remember. My life wasn’t my “own”, but despite the demands and the crying baby phone calls, it was good.
I had a closeness with my babies, an understanding of their needs, and a super power — that my husband did not possess — to comfort them when they needed me. It was very right for me to breastfeed, especially in keeping me connected with my kids and not off doing “projects” as I might have been drawn to, instead.
The days have passed all too quickly. I had a nursing baby for a good 12 to 13 years of my life. Yet, my baby-Baby is on her way to 4 years old. That last nursing session is long gone — and I do not remember it.
While I don’t believe I won any brownie points for breastfeeding, and I’m not sure that my kids’ more-or-less good health is attributed to nursing, I know that I do not regret it. Going without bottles or formula didn’t ruin us. I have wonderful memories of my breastfeeding daze. Amnesia? Perhaps. But, I know I would do it all over again.
And if it’s something you want, barring medical issues, I think you can do it, too.
Obviously, if you are away from your baby for the day due to work or school, then you’ll want to do that bottle thing, but don’t think it’s too hard to breastfeed exclusively. It really is doable!
It’s hard and it’s good at the same time.
That’s the mystery of motherhood.
If you’re a veteran mom, we would love to hear your breastfeeding story. I know that there are many situations where moms wish it had been different or better and many moms for whom breastfeeding did not work, despite their best intentions. I really want this post to be an encouragement to new moms. So, please temper any challenges you might want to share with a heavy dose of encouragement and optimism. Any bashing or absolute horror stories are subject to deletion. Thanks for understanding.
I nursed my first baby for 8 weeks. He had reflux and I had to go back to work at 12 weeks. It was so difficult to give that baby a bottle. I felt like a complete failure. Baby #2 was born 2 years later. I was a stay home mom and determined to breast feed. He loved to nurse. He nursed every 3 hours until he turned one. It was magical. Baby #3 came along 3 years later and he was a great nurser. He did have a tendency to bite. He was also a jokester from the get-go and would nurse just long enough for my milk to come down, then grin and quit. He nursed for one year and went straight to a sippy cup. It was very sad to realize that my nursing days were over. Those were some of the sweetest times spent with those baby boys!
Everyone’s different and I totally respect that and hope everyone makes choices that satisfy best their own needs and the needs of their special, individual children.
For me nursing was really easy. We went exclusively for 6 mo. on both kids but both presented many food allergies. My husband and I have TONS of allergies, kids significantly less (thanks to bf’ing!) Then tried solids on and off and continued to bf for 2 years on both kids. Entirely breast to cup, no bottles involved. No mixing, no packing, no messing, no reactions! Night times were a breeze. If I had enough sleep I would scoop them up for nighttime feedings or if I was just tired that day, hubby would drop them in my arms in bed and I’d doze that way. Super easy, super kind, completely cost efficient.
The MOST important thing is to remember that feeding your child is a nurturing moment, it helps develop their attitude towards food. Doing it lovingly without stress-however that is- is way better than trying to do something that other people tell you is “right”.
I have a 5-year-old, 2-year-old, and an 8-month-old. I nursed the first two for 14 months, and I’m loving nursing my last baby boy.
It was tough with my first. He was jaundiced and sleepy, and he couldn’t latch on one side in the hospital. I asked every nurse there to help me every time I nursed, but I still couldn’t get him latched on one side by the time for checkout. Thankfully, I knew to ask for a nipple shield. I saw a lactation consultant that weighed him before and after nursing to help me feel better about my milk supply. I nursed him with the shield for the first 8 weeks until he got strong enough to do without it. We made it through, and I was so glad that I hadn’t given up.
The second baby was a piece of cake after that. =) And so was the third….
Those first weeks with my first were hard… but they were such a short period of time compared to the rest of my breastfeeding years. It helps to get perspective on how long these tough first days really last.
I’ve really enjoyed nursing overall, and I’ll miss it when I wean my last baby boy. I always encourage every mom I know to give it a try, though I’m VERY careful not to criticize if it doesn’t work out. Whether you breastfeed or not isn’t a measure of your worth or competence as a mother…. but it really can be a sweet and wonderful part of the first year.
Yeah, I meant latched on one side without help. Heh heh. =)
What a great post!!! Breastfeeding is hard to learn, but the benefits are so worth the effort. It is such an amazing bond. I had many problems pop up in the beginning, from my son’s jaundice to a cut on my nipple to low milk supply, but lived through it with plans to nurse my next child!! I nursed my son until he was 13 months old, exclusively for 5 months. I had to do some pumping for bottles when I got a cut on my nipple, which was a stressful time. But my son was so flexible. Breast or bottle, as long as he got his milk!!
The most important things I learned are; 1. Take your time learning. Not only do you have to learn how to nurse, your baby has to learn how to eat!! And you’re just getting to know each other. Take it easy and try not to stress!!
2. Stay hydrated!! Can’t make that milk if your aren’t drinking enough water!!!
3. If you’re uncomfortable with something, don’t do it. I had a nurse, while I was still in the hospital, insist that I use some kind of hard plastic shield thing. I hated it, but she kept insisting. It ended up causing me quite a bit of pain. I don’t know why I didn’t just tell her no, I won’t use that thing!!
4. I’ve never met anyone who regrets breastfeeding. I have met many women who regret not breastfeeding or only breastfeeding a month or so.
Great, realistic post! 😉
When I was first pregnant I read a list of 101 Reasons to Breastfeed. (http://www.notmilk.com/101.html) That really motivated me to make it work and educate myself the best I could before he arrived. I didn’t see myself nursing beyond the recommended 12mo though.
My biggest challenge with my first was that he was colicky and just generally fussy all the time. Thankfully my Dr assured me it wasn’t the nursing that was making him that way. And I felt like it was the one thing I was actually doing right for him. He absolutely refused all bottles and pacifiers when I introduced them around 4weeks old. Oh how we tried to make him take them! I was so frustrated.
BUT we did just fine without them. My second kid was more receptive to the artificial nipples, but at that point it was just easier to nurse the baby since it was what we were used to.
I nursed both my boys exclusively for almost the first 6mo. (They both started grabbing food a couple weeks before 6mo exactly.) Then I did the same with some water and solids and continued to nurse. The first weaned around 2yo and the second is still nursing a couple times a day at 2.5yo.
Oh and I totally thought La Leche League was a weird concept when my MIL suggested going. However, once my 1st was about 10mo I decided to check it out both to meet local moms and to get some info on nursing an older baby. They were so nice and down-to-earth that I stayed. I am now a LLL Leader for that group. 🙂
Breastfeeding was a great experience for me to bond with my twin daughters. Breastfed them both exclusively until 6 m.o. and were done by 15 month. Would hate to delude you and would tell the truth-it was not easy in the beginning. I had C-section and people at the hospital were not optimistic about my ability to feed 2 at a time…
Didn’t have almost any sleep for about 3 first weeks. I know it would’ve been easier with formula-it usually keeps babies asleep for a longer time plus father can help. But I was determined to continue BF and never regret it. Good luck to all the new mommies with the breastfeeding!
I really enjoyed reading this. I breastfed both of our children – our eldest until around 14 months and our youngest is just finishing up now at around 20 months. I agree with all you other moms out there – when you are a first timer you have no idea what to expect and it can be hard going as part of the overwhelmingness of having this new person so dependent on you.
I was blessed in that I always had a lot of milk – when friends I knew felt like they didn’t have enough and had a consistently sad and hungry baby and so gave up more quickly. Although having a plentiful supply wasn’t without the dramas of waking up soaking or leaking through multiple pads and t-shirts and cardigans… And I got mastitis both times which was no fun at all.
But I would not have changed it for the world. The time that they need you like that goes by so quickly, and being a stay-home mom by choice brings with it the option to savour these little moments. I have read articles that say exclusive breastfeeding has a lot of benefits, especially for boys, and ones that say it makes no difference. For me, I think it did make a difference, even should there be no discernible benefit for the little ones – although I know that had my body not worked to make it so things would have still been fine.
I did find that people wanted to challenge my decision to stick at it for a longer stretch, especially as most moms I knew combined breastfeeding with at least one formula feed by between 1-3 months. Neither of our children slept very well until well over a year, which solicited a lot of advice to formula feed in the evening to get them to sleep through, or so I could go out again, or so I could regulate their routines more efficiently. But I wanted to hang in there if I could – inviting though an unbroken night of sleep would have been. In this respect it was a great help that neither of our two would get the hang of a bottle – I expressed a lot with my first and endeavoured to get him to take a bottle because Daddy wanted to help with feeds but to no avail. He would take about 10mls when I had painfully and boringly expressed 150mls – so not such a concerted effort second time round… And you can get through with broken nights and they both sleep fine now!
If you have the choice to breastfeed and want to then it is a truly wonderful and amazing thing – even considering the difficulties – such a short and precious stage of life. I would definitely do it again should we have another child.
Thanks for posting such an eloquent piece exploring the topic so openly.
Great post. As a BFing mom of my 8mo 4th son, I totally echo what you wrote. It is not always easy. It’s not always convenient to have to nurse every 3 hours. There are times I’m tired of it (especially since I’ve been either pregnant or nursing continually for well over 3 years). But that being said, I LOVE nursing. I love having him close and seeing him stare up at me and having that bond. Since this is probably my last baby, knowing I’ll be done nursing forever in 4 months makes me a little sad.
For those new moms, you can do it! It’s totally worth it. You’ll never regret having made the decision to BF!
Oh…breastfeeding! I really struggled with breastfeeding! But I did it for 6 months with my first daughter and 8 months with my second. The first two months were really challenging, dealing with physical pain, being tired, etc. And with each I went back to work full time when they were 4 months old and had terrible results with pumping despite my very best efforts. I’m incredibly stubborn, and I kept at it despite the obstacles and I’m so glad I did. There were lots of hard times, but there were many times that I would say it was easier than bottle feeding. For new moms, I would say to try your best to ignore all the pressure and absolute statements. Do what you can physically and what makes you the happiest mama, and really, that is enough!! I had so many of the same physical obstacles with #2 but I was so much more confident and relaxed about the whole issue. If only we didn’t have to experience it the “hard way” before we get to that place as moms!
Thanks for writing this! I nursed my first son for two years (and I run around in circles where this is common) — with my second son, he (and I) had terrible thrush from the get-go. I tried all different things — mainstream medicine, homeopathy, change of diet, etc. — and nothing worked. It hurt so bad! After six months I started supplementing with formula — and felt like I was buying crack. He weaned from the breast entirely at 10 months and it was so sad — never a real good experience for either of us.
Now that I am a childbirth educator I am glad to have the experience of doing both. I can say with confidence that breastfeeding can be hard for the first six weeks — but after that it is WAY easier. Washing bottles, warming bottles, making sure you always have (expensive!) formula in the house — it’s a pain.