Breastfeeding Expectations Plus My Story of Nursing 6 Babies
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Exclusive breastfeeding for the first six months is generally recommended. Today I share my story with breastfeeding as well as what a new mom might expect.
This post was originally posted on May 1, 2012. The comments are so rich with experiences from a wonderful group of ladies who were kind enough to share their stories, I thought it would be good to bump this to the top.
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I breastfed all six kids. Exclusively. For the first six months.
I don’t say that to brag. I know many, many women who for a variety of reasons are unable to make breastfeeding work for them and their families. And I totally respect that.
The key principle is that your baby is well fed. Methods may differ.
Rather, I share my story because I want to give hope to new moms out there.
I know that I am probably in a minority in how I fed my babies. Recently, I read some statistics that showed me what a small population out there does six months exclusive breastfeeding. Recommended, but not often done.
I didn’t set out to do it any “special” way. I was not/am not a militant “breast is best” proponent. I never attended a La Leche League meeting. I only got halfway through the big breastfeeding handbooks, and then I felt like I was doing it all wrong.
But, I was the milk wagon for my babies. And I lived to tell the tale.
For the first six months of their lives, I continued to “eat for two” and be their main, no, their only source of sustenance.
Folks warned us with our first baby that if we didn’t give him a bottle in the first six weeks that he would never take one. The implication was that our lives would be ruined. Forever.
Honestly, it was so difficult and painful in those first few weeks of nursing, there was no way I was going to jeopardize his latch or my milk supply (so hard earned by that point) so that maybe, someday, we might leave him home with a babysitter for longer than two hours.
The first one never got a bottle. Neither did the others. At six months of age, they started some solids and started to learn about sippy cups with water. They nursed until they were a year old.
This isn’t the “right” way. This is just the way we did it.
Granted, I was a homebody. And I had chosen to be a stay-at-home mom. My expectations were simply that I would breastfeed my baby. So I did.
Did I go away for the weekend with my girl friends? No, but I never did that before he was born, either. Did I feel annoyed that he wanted to nurse every two to three hours? No, my type-A self needed someone to make me sit and rest before I overdid it. Did I spend lots of money on nursing clothes? No, tshirts and jeans have been my uniform for years.
Breastfeeding felt natural. At least, thank the Lord, after those first three weeks. Once you get through the “bite-your-lip-and-suffer-through-the-pain” stage. Yeah, I know, it’s not supposed to be painful. But, it was for a time. Just saying.
So, if you’re a new or expecting mom interested in breastfeeding your baby, here are some things to consider:
1. It probably won’t be easy.
Few good things in life are “easy,” especially those things that you are just learning. Be prepared for challenges and setbacks.
This applies to breastfeeding, but yes, it basically applies to your entire parenting career, too. Just when you think you’ve got it figured out, your baby will have a growth spurt, cut a tooth, get sick, or learn to drive.
Be ready to be challenged.
2. Your life won’t be your own.
Since I chose exclusive breastfeeding, mostly on demand, and opted out of bottle feeding, my time was not my own. Neither was my diet. I knew that if I went someplace without the baby, I would need to be back within the three hour window. With practice and planning, I was still able to get out and do things, but I was mindful that someone else depended on me.
And that I might get a call on my cell phone that was simply the sound of the baby crying.
I took daily vitamins, ate a balanced diet, avoided much, if any, drinking, and basically took that “eating for two” thing pretty seriously. As such, I probably took better care of myself than I had before children and in some seasons since breastfeeding has ceased.
That said, the fact that someone else depended on me was good for me. And taking care of my physical health, well, that was a pretty good thing, too.
And your life? Well, as a mom, you have a new life, shared with the people you love. It won’t be your “own”, but it will be good.
3. It really isn’t as long as it seems.
It’s so easy to count the days away, waiting for the baby to wean, start solids, sleep through the night. In the middle of it, it does seem like it will go on forever. But, it won’t.
That baby there will be eight years old next month. I still wear those pants. See? My Old Navy yoga pants have outlasted three babies breastfeeding. The time goes quickly!
The last nursing session will pass and you may or may not even realize that it’s the last. Last things are like that. They flee silently and quickly. And far sooner than you thought you were ready for them.
Life is like that.
4. It’s totally worth it.
Breastfeeding certainly wasn’t easy. I’ve had my share of late nights, mastitis, engorgement, blisters, and what-have-you. I probably cried and complained more than I remember. My life wasn’t my “own”, but despite the demands and the crying baby phone calls, it was good.
I had a closeness with my babies, an understanding of their needs, and a super power — that my husband did not possess — to comfort them when they needed me. It was very right for me to breastfeed, especially in keeping me connected with my kids and not off doing “projects” as I might have been drawn to, instead.
The days have passed all too quickly. I had a nursing baby for a good 12 to 13 years of my life. Yet, my baby-Baby is on her way to 4 years old. That last nursing session is long gone — and I do not remember it.
While I don’t believe I won any brownie points for breastfeeding, and I’m not sure that my kids’ more-or-less good health is attributed to nursing, I know that I do not regret it. Going without bottles or formula didn’t ruin us. I have wonderful memories of my breastfeeding daze. Amnesia? Perhaps. But, I know I would do it all over again.
And if it’s something you want, barring medical issues, I think you can do it, too.
Obviously, if you are away from your baby for the day due to work or school, then you’ll want to do that bottle thing, but don’t think it’s too hard to breastfeed exclusively. It really is doable!
It’s hard and it’s good at the same time.
That’s the mystery of motherhood.
If you’re a veteran mom, we would love to hear your breastfeeding story. I know that there are many situations where moms wish it had been different or better and many moms for whom breastfeeding did not work, despite their best intentions. I really want this post to be an encouragement to new moms. So, please temper any challenges you might want to share with a heavy dose of encouragement and optimism. Any bashing or absolute horror stories are subject to deletion. Thanks for understanding.
Very good post, excellent points.
Here is my story: http://mylittlebitoflife.com/?p=1204
I needed this today! I am in the midst of exclusively nursing twins that are 5 weeks old. I exclusively nursed the my last two children but nursing twins does not compare. Today, I felt totally depleted mentally. I wanted to run to the nearest Walmart grab some formula and prop them up with a bottle. However, like you, I also need a reminder to take a break and though it is not always easy, nursing allows me to do just that. A friend of mine calls “built in rest periods.” Thank you for reminding me of what’s “best” for me and my babies!
Hang in there, friend! Take some extra naps (if you can) this week. And make sure hubby knows to pick up any slack. 😉
I’ve shared a number of my breastfeeding stories on my blog, but essentially here are the nuts and bolts: We did it. We made it past a year with both of my babies (another is due in August!).
Did we have challenges? You bet. My first had latching issues, but with the right help from two different lactation consultants, we pushed through and made it work. From two weeks on, she nursed like a champ.
My second was a born eater from the beginning, but had emergency lung surgery to save his life before he turned 6 weeks old. Yet the only milk he had was breastmilk, even through that feeding tube. It was a very scary time, but I knew pumping constantly was the only thing I could do for my newborn. The lung they removed has grown back and he’s healthy as a horse.
I love your story, and I agree that nursing affords us the ability to rest every few hours during those early weeks when we really need it. My best advice with nursing to be determined, but know that challenges are within the realm of normal. Push through and get the right help. But like you, I also believe that a good mom feeds her baby. Period.
I nursed both of mine exclusively for 6 months also and until they were 1 year old. I still worked full time and spent all my breaks pumping. I sometimes couldn’t find somewhere to pump, so I did it standing up in a bathroom(gross I know, but I didn’t touch anything). It was a pain to carry all that extra stuff to work every day but I did it because I wanted to and in no way regret it at all. A few months after I weaned my son, he got pneumonia 3 times in a row and his immune system was very low. I wish I had nursed him longer. Great post, I am impressed(I know you aren’t bragging, but i’m still impressed about doing it for 6). Numerous people kept asking me “are you still nursing him?” as if it was unthinkable. I just smiled and said “yeah, for now”.
Thank you!!! I adore you for this post. I am a new mom to my sweet one month old daughter and am breastfeeding exclusively. I needed your reassurance and encouragement… and honesty. What a blessing!
I think it’s wonderful that you were able to breastfeed all of your children. And women definitely need encouragement during what, I’m sure is a difficult time in life. You mentioned that each mom needs to do what’s best for her child; that’s awesome! We can only do what we can do. I just want to tell new moms out there that you don’t have to feel guilty if you don’t breastfeed.
When I had my first son, I had a lactation consultant meet with me in the hospital because I was afraid I wouldn’t be able to breastfeed properly. (My milk ducts never fully developed and they told me when I had surgery to correct this that I only had a mild chance at breastfeeding.) To my joy, the consultant told me I was lactating and that my son had a great latch. Life was good! Until 7 weeks later and my son was still 2 pounds under his birth weight. The doctors assured me I was producing enough (they turned out to be idiots), but I went to formula-feeding only. He quickly caught up to his recommended weight.
Then I had my second son and a new lactation consultant assured me she could get me to produce for this child; I would breastfeed every 3 hours while pumping before and after every feeding. We did this for one month and I was only able to produce 2 ounces of milk in an entire day! Definitely not worth it.
Long story short: some moms breastfeed, some moms bottle-feed, some moms are all-natural, some moms need some convenience in their lives, and some moms can try as hard as they can and just have to deal with what God grants them. It doesn’t matter how you feed your child; love is what will make them grow.
This is exactly what formula was invented for. It’s a life-saving intervention for that portion of families who can’t do it old-school.
Ha! The “crying baby phone call”. I thought my husband was the only one who did that:-)
Ha! No, apparently not. lol
I like the spirit of your story.
I had similar experiences with my 4 children, all of whom I breastfed for a while, the last until he was 3.
My first baby was born with a congenital heart defect, diagnosed in utero. We knew he would have surgery upon birth. Because she knew I wanted to breastfeed, my mom STRONGLY encouraged me to talk to a lactation consultant (Children’s Hospital in Boston, where he was having the surgery, has an incredible team). I got some great encouragement and direction from her before the baby was born such as, “get that pump in your post-partum room and start pumping the minute you can.” This helped my husband and I know what to do when other well-meaning nurses said “you don’t need to pump, you really need to sleep.”
I kept pumping with that Cow-milker machine every 3 hours on the dot for the first week, because I am first born and I always follow instructions. The nurses gave him him a bottle of breastmilk (colostrum, really) for his first taste of food at 1 week old. Once he tolerated that well, the lactation consultant helped me teach him how to latch. It worked and despite mastitis for which I had to be hospitalized, he nursed heartily and hungrily for the next 2 years.
I’m not saying that if you follow a certain set of guidelines everything will go the way you hope. I’m just here to say how sometimes pursuing and getting the right help can make all the difference.
Great information, Jessica! I nursed my children exclusively for the first sixth months, too, and continued nursing until they were a little over a year. I was a little nervous about it because at the time no one in my family had ever successfully breastfed. One thing that helped me a lot was advice from a friend who had breastfed three. I would encourage new nursing moms to seek advice/ encouragement from someone whose opinions they trust. Lactation consultants can be helpful, too, if a mom is having difficulty.
Thanks for all the encouraging words! I agree with everyone else who says the most important thing is to do what you know is right for your baby. If you’re not a mom yet, you may not understand that yet, but after your baby comes, you *will* have mommy intuition. You’ll know if your baby (or your sanity) needs some formula, and please don’t beat yourself up about your choice! (Don’t let anybody else give you guilt trips either.) I love the statement “Worry will kill you faster than food will” and I think the same goes for breastmilk vs formula. It’s easy to stress out about it so much, and if you do that, you’re making it that much harder to enjoy your baby during that super-cute, super-FAST newborn stage. In general, breast is best, so go for it! But if your situation calls for something else, make the change and get back to enjoying your sweet baby.
That said, I’d MUCH rather breastfeed than bottle-feed. I love not having to take extra paraphernalia with me when we go out; night feedings are SO much easier (even though I do get up and go to his room to feed), and it’s free!
Y’all have left some great comments, and Jessica, I’ll be forwarding this post to a friend. Thanks!!