Go Ahead, Have a Third Kid
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Aren’t they sweet?! Oh be still my heart. These are my three sons. Well, my three sons before the rest of the FishKids arrived.
In case you’ve ever wondered, our eldest was 3 1/2 when our second child was born. We’d had the miscarriages; we hadn’t planned on a big gap. Our third son was born a mere 19 months later.
When I was pregnant with our third, I was warned about how difficult everything would be.
- Oh my! How are you going to handle two babies?
- Oh my! Three is just so, so hard.
- Oh my! You’ll have your hands full.
You know what? They were wrong. Having a third baby, even a third so close in age to his older brother, was not so, so hard. In fact, it was much, much easier than I expected it to be. (Especially once I got that double stroller!)
Fish and I have talked about this over and over since then. Three is not harder than two. Quite the contrary, we thought the transition from one child to two children was the hardest transition of them all, even after a year of miscarriage and wanting that second child so much.
Having two was sooooooooooo very hard.
I thought I would die. And I think families with two experience that rough transition and they assume that having a third will be that much harder. I think some might even stop there out of fear.
That wasn’t the case for us. I’m so glad we pushed past the hard of having two children to see that having three really wasn’t all that harder.
You see, my theory is that when you have one child, one parent can be hands free if he or she chooses. With two, either one parent has his hands full or you’re both occupied. It took way more effort to transition to two kids than it did to three, four, five, six.
(After three, you’re already on zone defense, so it doesn’t matter.)
I say this not to convince you to have a large family or even to say that you should have a third baby. I know many families desiring more children and for a number of reasons, they cannot.
But, if you’re on the fence, if you’re wanting to grow your family but feel swayed by the populace to stop at two, I say go ahead. Have a third.
We were having two kids. Period. God smiled down on us and gave us a gift, a “surprise” baby 5 years after #2 was born. We didn’t own one baby thing. They were all sold when #2 quit using them (remember, we were only having 2). My oldest son was almost nine and son #2 was 5 when baby girl came. I felt a little overwhelmed at first but quickly adjusted. Life with three was great. The boys had each other and as adults get along great. Baby girl was the best gift I’ve ever received. Big brothers are still protective of her. I was blessed with three good babies that slept more than they were awake. For me, I would do it again in a heartbeat and probably would add the 4th that I always wanted (DH made a trip to the doctor when baby girl was 1 so that wasn’t going to happen).
So many different experiences! I have 9 children – the first 7 in 9 years – and I wouldn’t trade or change for anything. I think the first is the most life changing, then if they are close in age the second is when you learn to multi-task like a pro. I think the 3rd (once again when they are close) is the hardest because if you go anywhere alone it is so difficult. By 4 you have a big kid helper ;o) after that is so much easier – I promise. Even when they all were home and in sports etc it wasn’t too terribly tough because lots of help. I would absolutely encourage everyone to expand their family if possible – the rewards ALWAYS outweigh any negatives. Great post.
I raised two that are 18months apart all on my own. I had always wanted four. When I turned forty I met a man with two we now have four. Funny how life works out!
0-1 was definelty a hard transition for me. I do think it had a lot to do with my circumstances though — being newly married and only 18 years old. My daughter will be almost 4 by the time our second is born. this pregnancy was very much desired and longed for and i can’t wait to see how my daughter interacts with the baby. i’m thankful she’s been potty trained and sleeping in a bed for while,, although i’m sure it’ll be hard since i’ve been out of the newborn stage for a while. hoping my hubby will eventually agree to a # 3 ;).
We tried a long time for a third child without success, and we were coming to realize that our family might already be complete. It turned out that God had bigger plans for us than we had for ourselves. I became pregnant with twins and they are six months old today! Our hands are full and so are our hearts!
Ha! I have to say (rather ashamedly) that zero to one was the hardest for me- even though I wanted a baby SOOOOOO badly and endured two losses before him. I was utterly unprepared for a colicky demanding infant. Number 2 seemed easy in comparison and number three is bliss!
I totally agree – going from one to two was our toughest transition. One thing that compounded it was that #2 was a high needs kid. From that point on, it was all easy!! 🙂
It’s different for everyone but one was cake for me. I was back to pre-baby weight in a flash and I was totally living my life my way with my own little buddy. She went where I went, we ate together, life was super easy and moreso, it was still Mine. Then I had a second, and for me, it was way more to balance. This time, I had a boy. I struggled with my weight. It took awhile to get out of sweats because I was SO very busy chasing them. I couldn’t get my groove down. Nothing but crayons in my pancakes and diapers on the floor. I was a hot mess at first! I had a friend who had 3 then 4 with great ease and she confided that having 2 was also super challenging for her and that have 3 and 4 was waaay easier (again, for her). I’ve always wondered. We’re happy and have gotten a nice routine now as a family of 4 but I’ll always wonder about life with just one more. Maybe.
I have to say that I thought that baby three was the hardest baby that I brought home. I had just potty trained number two when I found out I was pregnant with number 3, and it was like starting over again. Of course, baby four was a breeze after having the first three 🙂
What a reassuring post! We’re expecting Baby 3 in about eight weeks and everyone I know with three has said it was a much harder transition than from 1 to 2. It’s nice to hear another perspective. My biggest concern is what someone above mentioned – the need to referee the older two while dealing with a baby. My kiddos will be 4.5 and 2.5 when baby arrives and it seems like I spend a huge amount of time mediating between them. Not sure how to do that while also dealing with a newborn!