Go Ahead, Have a Third Kid
As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases. For more details, please see our disclosure policy.
Want to save this post?
Enter your email below and get it sent straight to your inbox. Plus, I'll send you time- and money-saving tips every week!
Aren’t they sweet?! Oh be still my heart. These are my three sons. Well, my three sons before the rest of the FishKids arrived.
In case you’ve ever wondered, our eldest was 3 1/2 when our second child was born. We’d had the miscarriages; we hadn’t planned on a big gap. Our third son was born a mere 19 months later.
When I was pregnant with our third, I was warned about how difficult everything would be.
- Oh my! How are you going to handle two babies?
- Oh my! Three is just so, so hard.
- Oh my! You’ll have your hands full.
You know what? They were wrong. Having a third baby, even a third so close in age to his older brother, was not so, so hard. In fact, it was much, much easier than I expected it to be. (Especially once I got that double stroller!)
Fish and I have talked about this over and over since then. Three is not harder than two. Quite the contrary, we thought the transition from one child to two children was the hardest transition of them all, even after a year of miscarriage and wanting that second child so much.
Having two was sooooooooooo very hard.
I thought I would die. And I think families with two experience that rough transition and they assume that having a third will be that much harder. I think some might even stop there out of fear.
That wasn’t the case for us. I’m so glad we pushed past the hard of having two children to see that having three really wasn’t all that harder.
You see, my theory is that when you have one child, one parent can be hands free if he or she chooses. With two, either one parent has his hands full or you’re both occupied. It took way more effort to transition to two kids than it did to three, four, five, six.
(After three, you’re already on zone defense, so it doesn’t matter.)
I say this not to convince you to have a large family or even to say that you should have a third baby. I know many families desiring more children and for a number of reasons, they cannot.
But, if you’re on the fence, if you’re wanting to grow your family but feel swayed by the populace to stop at two, I say go ahead. Have a third.
I found that number 3 slid into the family dynamic very easily. I was really surprised. When I was pregnant with #4 I had some one tell me that it takes a year to adjust to #4. I thought they were nuts. #3 had fit in so nicely how could #4 not! About halfway through that 1st yr of being a mum of 4 and not having anything together, I remembered what my friend said. Just after the 1 year mark I did notice that life had settled down and we were doing great.
I love seeing how different family dynamics work. Have your heart open and don’t have any set in stone opinions.
My experience was that going from 1 to 2 was the easiest. Going from 2 to 3 for me was EXTREMELY hard! I had a 3 1/2 year difference between #2 and #3. It was difficult for me to get back in that baby mode again. I also felt really bad for my two older boys. We had gotten so use to just my huband and I and the two of them. We would pick up and go everywhere with them, we had it down perfect. During the last few months of my pregnancy with #3 and the first few months as a newborn, I felt extremely left out of my everyday life with my older boys. I was often left at home with the baby and missed out on things. I also wanted the time back I had to myself in the evenings (selfish I know, but it is how I felt). I battled a bad case of post partum depression (I also had to have my gall bladder removed when my daughter was 11 weeks old). My daughter (yes a girl, finally) is now 6 months old and I finally feel like we are a normal family again, just the 5 of us. I say mothers of 4 children, must be amazing, i could never do it. 3 is my limit!
We are living parallel lives, but my third is my third boy, and I feel the same way. I love my children dearly, but I do miss out on the excitement they have when they run off on the weekends to do things with daddy. I also wish I just had a little time to get anything done…other than dishes! Thank you for this comment.
again i agree with you jess!!having 7 children, the junp from 1 to 2 was…well hideous!!!number 3 is so easy(and any more you have after that!!:)i tell people that all the time!!
My first was an easy baby, his brother was born 11 months later. Then, longing for a girl, we tried for another one. My third-a girl is 18 months apart than my 2nd. I was thinking that my family is complete, hubby wants more. 18 months later my 4th, a girl, was born. Now I am 8 weeks pregnant with number 5. It does get easier. My house is always noisy…lol
Thanks for this post! I’m due with our third in July and I’ve been worried! My SD is 6 and my son is 18 months, so I think they’ll both be good ages for #3. 🙂
Aww, don’t tell me that, #2 is coming on the 29th! 😉 we have been told by a couple friends that you don’t become a “real parent” until you have two, haha. I am looking forward to it though. My son is almost 28 months and I know he will be great with his baby sister!
Going from one to two was no big deal at all for me. Going from two to three was VERY challenging. I think the experience for everyone is probably different, but I heard a lot of three is easy etc and it made me feel like a huge failure when it wasn’t the case. My oldest wasn’t quite four years old when my third son was born. The first two were 19months apart and the next one was 16months later. At the time my 16month old had JUST started walking the week prior. It was tough times. Now they are 4,2,&1 and it is getting easier by the day as they grow.
For me. going from 0 to 1 was a huge shock. And I was the most shocked that it WAS a shock. I used to work at an orphanage in Romania, and often was responsible for 6-9 babies at once, I thought I was a pro at the whole Mommy thing! Did I ever learn a few things! It’s very different to work a shift, versus being on duty 24/7.
Going from 1 to 2 was also huge, but I had some PPD to deal with as well.
#3 and #4 have been a breeze. I am so blessed!
I wholeheartedly agree! I am a mama of a 3 year old, a 1 1/2 half year old, and a 4 month old, and being a mommy to 3- 3 and under is not as hard as I expected it to be, or as hard as other people think it is. Thank you for sharing your thoughts with all of us.
For me, going from one to two didn’t seem that hard, even though they were only sixteen and a half months apart. My third was three years later and to this day I’d say that was my hardest and biggest adjustment. My two older ones were 3 and 4 by then, and it just seemed all of them still demanded alot of attention. I only had one more after that, and my fourth was easier. Although I didn’t feel finished, I never had any more, but I felt like any more after that wouldn’t have been a big adjustment.