Potty Training in 10 Days or Less
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That’s my last baby when she had just turned two. She turns three this week. It’s amazing how quickly the time has passed. About six month ago, she kissed diapers goodbye, and I entered a new phase of parenting. Oh my.
Potty training can seem daunting, particularly when you’re in the midst of it. There were days with each child when I thought he or she would never get it.
Yet, lo and behold, after 14 years of diapering, all six of my kids know how to take care of business. Hallelujah!
Ten Days or Less?
I’m not really going to sell you a get-rich quick scheme, the Brooklyn Bridge, or a fail-proof strategy for potty training. But, I am thankful for the moms who went before me and shared their experiences. So, now I’m passing mine on to you.
With our guinea pig first born child, I took the slow road, buying a potty seat when he was just two, and slowly over the following twelve months worked with him until it clicked. It took a year, and he was fine. So was I. But, it was a hard year with lots of “one step forward, two steps back” kind of progress.
When our second child was two, we had just welcomed our third baby and wanted him to be able to adjust to that change first. He was always a sensitive kid, and while he was advanced in some areas, we didn’t want to rush the emotional stuff. As he approached his third birthday, we moved cross-country. And again, we didn’t want to put him through multiple transitions at once. Plus, I was pregnant with baby #4!
A couple months after our move, a friend mentioned that they had potty trained that weekend.
That weekend?
My ears perked up. She explained that they did potty training in a day. Say what? She shared the book that helped them get their kids potty independent in a short amount of time. I promptly read the book. While I can’t recommend the book based on some of the parenting techniques described, I will say that the idea of intensive potty training has worked.
Our subsequent five kids have all potty trained in ten days or less. One was dry 24/7 by the end of the 2nd day. Another took a full ten days to get the hang of it. The others fell somewhere in between. Just when I was ready to throw up my hands, the child got it.
Is there a magic formula? Is there a trick? Will it work for all kinds? I dunno.
I’m just a mom. I have no degree in child psychology. And I am sure that there will be plenty of people to disagree with my methods. But, I know that this worked for us. As always, your mileage may vary.
Here are the basics that we’ve used to successfully potty train our children:
1. Know your child.
This is probably the most important part of parenting in general, but it specifically applies to potty training and making this step, one of many, from babyhood to big kid. You are the one to know your child and his temperaments. Does he take well to new adventures? Or does he need to be coaxed? Does she have an independent spirit? Or is she willing to go with the flow?
Go with your child’s strengths. Talk up the adventure in such a way that he or she is intrigued and excited. Books help do this. Dora’s Potty Book was a big hit last year. It comes complete with a flushing sound. Oh yes, yes, it does.
2. Make sure he or she is ready.
The internet is rife with potty training readiness quizzes that seem quite complicated. I looked for three basic things: overnight dryness, ability to dress one self, and an awareness of when the diaper was getting filled. Remember, I’m no expert. But, these were the things that I looked for. I think they will vary from kid to kid. Waking up wet does not mean that a kid isn’t ready to be trained. But, in our experience it was a good sign to wait a little longer.
Personally, I didn’t even consider it with my younger boys until they were very close to three, or past it. The girls seemed ready at about 2 1/2. But, age is a misleading factor. Many people have a strict age guideline. I say go to steps 1 and 2 again.
3. Make sure YOU are ready.
You need to be able to move this new experience to priority level which means being willing to adjust your schedule — and maybe your attitude — to be prepared for more frequent potty breaks, accidents, and repeated instruction.
Once you decide to go for it, go for it. Rip off the band-aid. Cut the cord. Don’t hem and haw. Once you know that your child is ready, then proceed. If you’re not sure he’s ready, then wait. Why frustrate both of you with half-hearted efforts? You don’t want to confuse, you want to teach.
4. Demonstrate.
The “potty training in a day” crowd suggests to demonstrate with a doll that wets. We have simply made sure that our toddlers got a chance to see siblings or the parent of the same sex demonstrate how it all works. Once the kid knows the routine, it’s a matter of practice. Often.
5. Offer intense practice over several days time.
Spend the day focused on potty practice. Offer lots of snacks and drinks. Lots. And every twenty minutes check for dryness.
This was the epiphany for me: dryness is the goal. Going in the toilet is a complimentary facet, but dryness is the goal. Reward, praise, and cheer for dryness. Check for dryness often. And then offer more treats.
Help your child make the connection between going in the potty and staying dry.
The more your child can practice, the better he or she will be at listening to body cues and getting to the toilet.
(On a practical level, we preferred to use toilet inserts rather than separate potty chairs. This is less for you to clean and makes a later transition to the toilet unnecessary.)
6. Praise often.
Make a really big deal about it. Talk it up with friends, neighbors, and relatives. Buy the Dora chones. Make this an occasion to celebrate. It’s perfectly fine to offer small treats, stickers, or toys as encouragement for a job well done.
Just be prepared for your kid to ask for a “poo poo treat” in front of company.
7. Be patient.
Accidents will happen. Your child will try to wipe himself before he’s ready — and use a whole roll of toilet paper. There will be messes.
Be ready to be patient. Be willing to clean things up with a good attitude. Your child is at a tender age and going through a big transition. Make this moment be one of learning and be okay with mistakes.
That’s what life is all about.
Please use wisdom as you approach potty training. These are things that worked for our family. Every child is different. So be patient and loving.
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This is a ridiculous-but-true story. When my oldest was about 4, he was potty trained by day but worn an overnight every night. We tried all the usual coaxing, treats, big boy pants, etc.
Finally, in desperation, I told him that a week of overnights cost about $10. If he could be dry overnight and not need them, I said, we would give him the cost of one week’s worth of diapers.
Two nights later – no more overnights, ever. He got his fortune.
Today, our son is a college freshman and plans to major in business with a concentration in economics😀😀😀😀😀
LOVE that story!
I am currently trying to train my twin step sons (3 years old), we have been trying for over 6 months. They are stubborn and we spent a lot of time dealing with therapists after we got custody of them at 2 years old. Any tips for double trouble with a side of stubborn and mostly non verbal?
I think it’s really important to praise the goal: dry pants. Making it a 3 days-weeklong game of it really helped my kids. They don’t talk at all? Or they talk twin language? (they understand each other, but you don’t understand them?)
Some twin language, some sign language and just recently started using a few two word phrases. We are currently in day one of an intensive potty training weekend, pull ups only when sleeping, underpants and t-shirts the rest of the time. We have only had a couple accidents today, however I am concerned because they haven’t had a bowel movement at all today.
That’s normal. They will probably wait until they’re in pull-ups. :/
Was wondering if anyone has any ideas that will help me figure out what I’m doing wrong with my daughter. She is 28 months old and we are on our second attempt at potty training( I don’t think either of us were ready the first time). I have been trying for a few weeks to get her used to using the potty, but keeping it casual- just taking her whenever I thought she’d have to go(as she’d always say no if I asked her- I should add that she is extremely strong willed and independent). I am 8 months pregnant and also have a 13 month old boy. I don’t want to have3 in diapers (UGH), so decided to step things up with my daughter as all indications show that she’s ready. So 2 days ago I took her diaper off, let her go bare bottomed, and after one accident she would run and take herself potty. I thought this is fantastic! But halfway through the second day(yesterday) she started having accidents again and since then hasn’t taken herself or told me that she has to go. She doesn’t seem to mind getting herself or clothes wet anymore. What’s going on??? She is almost always dry in the morning but I have been putting pull-ups on her at night anyway and this morning she was really reluctant to have me take them off for the day, like she wanted the security of a diaper? I am trying to be patient with her when she has accidents but am starting to feel desperate especially as she just doesn’t seem to care. I would really like to get her trained before the baby comes. This is the first child I have tried to potty train and I would be very thankful for any suggestions. Thanks for reading!
Thanks for posting this again. I’ve been procrastinating getting this done with my last baby. He’ll be 3 in August. It’s time.
I am potty training my little boy right now. 🙂
My son will be 4 the end of April. He wears big boy underwear at school all day and uses the potty. As soon as he gets home he wants a diaper on to poop. He will not use the potty. He did one time at school and that was it. I have tried several different things, but nothing works. He still wets a lot at night but I am hoping/praying he will soon be totally potty trained real soon.
You call them chones, too! My husband had never heard the term, but I grew up with it! Well, I’m looking to get in the potty training game real soon. I started, but then my daughter has been off and on sick for over a month, so I put it on the backburner until she’s feeling well. She’s frustrated with being congested so much right now…so we’ll wait that out and then get to work. She is pretty stinkin’ excited about the underwear, though, and loves her Dora chones 🙂
i had to google what chones was…lol
we are just about to start with ds 2.5 , took my older son a few days for #1 and a YEAR for #2, lots of laundry got done,,lol
Yeah, if you grew up in So Cal, you might not have to google it. 😉
The idea of focusing on dryness was revelatory for me! I wrote about it and linked to you here: http://anotherdayanothermom.blogspot.com/2011/08/potty-training-ah-ha-moment.html
Well, no one goes off to high school in diapers (and probably not kindergarten, either)!!! It eventually all “clicks” for everyone! I know it seems like a lifetime but as it was said best in a recent post….”The days are long, but the years are short!”
(PS. I love this quote! It is what keeps me living in the ‘now’ and smiling through the day! Thank you, Jessica!)
You’re welcome! So glad we’ve reconnected after all this time!