Potty Training in 10 Days or Less
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That’s my last baby when she had just turned two. She turns three this week. It’s amazing how quickly the time has passed. About six month ago, she kissed diapers goodbye, and I entered a new phase of parenting. Oh my.
Potty training can seem daunting, particularly when you’re in the midst of it. There were days with each child when I thought he or she would never get it.
Yet, lo and behold, after 14 years of diapering, all six of my kids know how to take care of business. Hallelujah!
Ten Days or Less?
I’m not really going to sell you a get-rich quick scheme, the Brooklyn Bridge, or a fail-proof strategy for potty training. But, I am thankful for the moms who went before me and shared their experiences. So, now I’m passing mine on to you.
With our guinea pig first born child, I took the slow road, buying a potty seat when he was just two, and slowly over the following twelve months worked with him until it clicked. It took a year, and he was fine. So was I. But, it was a hard year with lots of “one step forward, two steps back” kind of progress.
When our second child was two, we had just welcomed our third baby and wanted him to be able to adjust to that change first. He was always a sensitive kid, and while he was advanced in some areas, we didn’t want to rush the emotional stuff. As he approached his third birthday, we moved cross-country. And again, we didn’t want to put him through multiple transitions at once. Plus, I was pregnant with baby #4!
A couple months after our move, a friend mentioned that they had potty trained that weekend.
That weekend?
My ears perked up. She explained that they did potty training in a day. Say what? She shared the book that helped them get their kids potty independent in a short amount of time. I promptly read the book. While I can’t recommend the book based on some of the parenting techniques described, I will say that the idea of intensive potty training has worked.
Our subsequent five kids have all potty trained in ten days or less. One was dry 24/7 by the end of the 2nd day. Another took a full ten days to get the hang of it. The others fell somewhere in between. Just when I was ready to throw up my hands, the child got it.
Is there a magic formula? Is there a trick? Will it work for all kinds? I dunno.
I’m just a mom. I have no degree in child psychology. And I am sure that there will be plenty of people to disagree with my methods. But, I know that this worked for us. As always, your mileage may vary.
Here are the basics that we’ve used to successfully potty train our children:
1. Know your child.
This is probably the most important part of parenting in general, but it specifically applies to potty training and making this step, one of many, from babyhood to big kid. You are the one to know your child and his temperaments. Does he take well to new adventures? Or does he need to be coaxed? Does she have an independent spirit? Or is she willing to go with the flow?
Go with your child’s strengths. Talk up the adventure in such a way that he or she is intrigued and excited. Books help do this. Dora’s Potty Book was a big hit last year. It comes complete with a flushing sound. Oh yes, yes, it does.
2. Make sure he or she is ready.
The internet is rife with potty training readiness quizzes that seem quite complicated. I looked for three basic things: overnight dryness, ability to dress one self, and an awareness of when the diaper was getting filled. Remember, I’m no expert. But, these were the things that I looked for. I think they will vary from kid to kid. Waking up wet does not mean that a kid isn’t ready to be trained. But, in our experience it was a good sign to wait a little longer.
Personally, I didn’t even consider it with my younger boys until they were very close to three, or past it. The girls seemed ready at about 2 1/2. But, age is a misleading factor. Many people have a strict age guideline. I say go to steps 1 and 2 again.
3. Make sure YOU are ready.
You need to be able to move this new experience to priority level which means being willing to adjust your schedule — and maybe your attitude — to be prepared for more frequent potty breaks, accidents, and repeated instruction.
Once you decide to go for it, go for it. Rip off the band-aid. Cut the cord. Don’t hem and haw. Once you know that your child is ready, then proceed. If you’re not sure he’s ready, then wait. Why frustrate both of you with half-hearted efforts? You don’t want to confuse, you want to teach.
4. Demonstrate.
The “potty training in a day” crowd suggests to demonstrate with a doll that wets. We have simply made sure that our toddlers got a chance to see siblings or the parent of the same sex demonstrate how it all works. Once the kid knows the routine, it’s a matter of practice. Often.
5. Offer intense practice over several days time.
Spend the day focused on potty practice. Offer lots of snacks and drinks. Lots. And every twenty minutes check for dryness.
This was the epiphany for me: dryness is the goal. Going in the toilet is a complimentary facet, but dryness is the goal. Reward, praise, and cheer for dryness. Check for dryness often. And then offer more treats.
Help your child make the connection between going in the potty and staying dry.
The more your child can practice, the better he or she will be at listening to body cues and getting to the toilet.
(On a practical level, we preferred to use toilet inserts rather than separate potty chairs. This is less for you to clean and makes a later transition to the toilet unnecessary.)
6. Praise often.
Make a really big deal about it. Talk it up with friends, neighbors, and relatives. Buy the Dora chones. Make this an occasion to celebrate. It’s perfectly fine to offer small treats, stickers, or toys as encouragement for a job well done.
Just be prepared for your kid to ask for a “poo poo treat” in front of company.
7. Be patient.
Accidents will happen. Your child will try to wipe himself before he’s ready — and use a whole roll of toilet paper. There will be messes.
Be ready to be patient. Be willing to clean things up with a good attitude. Your child is at a tender age and going through a big transition. Make this moment be one of learning and be okay with mistakes.
That’s what life is all about.
Please use wisdom as you approach potty training. These are things that worked for our family. Every child is different. So be patient and loving.
More Toddler Tips
What works for you?
Leave a comment below and let us know what works for you.
And don’t eat the poo poo treats too if you’re trying to lose weight! I found myself snacking on the M & M’s while I waited for my son to go.
My daughter is barely two and yesterday I hade the “bright” idea to start potty training. To be honest, I’m not sure she’s ready and I’m almost sure I’m not ready. She only went on the potty once yesterday and had accidents the rest of the time. Worse yet – she actually enjoys cleaning up after herself! She doesn’t like wet panties so she just strips them off and runs naked. Fine by me, but that just means she more comfortable when she has another accident. I know the key is being consistent but I really just want her to stay in diapers a bit longer.
having read the comments, I don’t see anyone mention what worked for us – peer pressure. Our little one is in daycare, and at about 18 months old, because she was so verbal and more advanced, they moved her to the 2-3 year old room. Suddenly, she was surrounded by these other little girls who didn’t have to wear diapers or pullups, and she wanted to be one of the big girls. I bought training pants and was preparing to do it around her 2nd birthday. She informed me she wouldn’t wear a pullup to bed one night because she was a big girl now. I just shook my head and prepared to be woken up in the middle of the night to change her undies and bedding. She woke up dry the next day, and has had exactly 3 accidents in the past 2 years! In our case, peer pressure was a good thing.
I wish I could say the same for us. 🙁 My daughter is also very verbal and was moved up from the 2 (her age) to 3-year-old class last year because she interacted better (on a verbal level) with the older kids. She still doesn’t care about potty. 🙁
Potty training has honestly been the hardest part of parenting for me so far. It has been so discouraging. Our daughter turned 3 in June. We started a year ago–around 2 months after she turned 2. It has been a long, hard year. She CAN do it–but only when she wants to. She is very stubborn and strong-willed (praying she will surrender her life to Jesus and God will use those characteristics for good later in life!).
She has gone days with no accidents–only to completely regress. She regressed:
1. When her daddy went back to work last fall (he is a high school teacher).
2. When her baby sister was born last October.
3. When she had her tonsils out in June.
4. When we took a 2-week trip to see extended family in MS in July (this was the worst–she went from having no accidents–especially in public) to having 4-5 accidents per day.
After set-back #4, we went back to diapers full-time (I use cloth diapers, so we weren’t out any money). I am at my wit’s end. I feel like she is never going to train.
It is a complete power struggle. She will go when she wants to. For example, when we are out somewhere (like a kid’s bday party), and she doesn’t want to leave, she will start screaming: “I need to go POTTY!” She does it because she knows I want her to go potty and she wants to stay at whatever location, and she knows that we will be able to stay longer if I have to take her to the bathroom.
She has never once woken up dry after sleeping. Her diapers are saturated in the mornings.
She also has gastro issues we are trying to figure out. Her poop always looks like diarrhea, and we are currently in the process of eliminating foods to figure out what’s going on. My husband and I tired of cleaning diarrhea out of her panties every day.
We are beyond frustrated and have given up.
Can someone say a prayer for me?
We do the “weekend’ method, too! And it’s worked beautifully with all three kids. It was more like 3-10 days, actually, but I am so thankful that it’s been smooth. We go straight to undies (actually, usually totally stripped down on the bottom for the first few days) and stay in diapers at night. I usually switch over to undies at night about a month or two later. Congrats on 14 years of diapering – and 6 months of NOT!
After 2 days of my son (3yr 4months) sitting on the baby potty screaming “No treat! NO treat!” I decided to pack it in. Every morning at diaper changing time I asked if he’d like to pee in the potty today about 6 weeks later he finally said “yes!” We used the insert on the regular toilet for the reasons you mentioned and that was it. He had 2 overnight accidents total. I plan to just ask my 2 year old if he wants to pee on the potty and wait until he says yes to try potty training him.
Such a timely post. My son is nearing 2 1/2 and we’ve been working on it for 3 weeks…he’s gotten #1 down from the first day, now if we could just figure out #2. I keep him in a diaper just for that reason, but it is dry 99% of the time…poop, well…only once have we succeeded in the potty.
I saw a few comments regarding boys and difficulty getting the hang of “pooping” in the potty. When my son was 3 he was peeing in the potty consistently but refused to go #2 in the potty. He was wearing underwear full time and would go off to a quiet spot to do his business and return with soiled underwear. After six months of this, I decided to try putting him in just a long tee-shirt. No undies or pants so that there was nothing to “catch” his poo. Lo and behold that very day I actually watched him run off to his bedroom to attempt to do his business in private only to realize this wasn’t going to work like it used to. After giving him a moment where I saw him almost panic in a “oh no now what do I do!?” I walked in and asked him if he needed to go sit on the potty. We went to the bathroom and he FINALLY was able to poop in the potty! After that ONE time he got the hang of it and from that point on he was using the potty for both #1 and #2! I just thought I’d share my experience in case this might benefit some other mothers in that power struggle 🙂 GOOD LUCK! And like the other posters said, it will happen it only seems never ending while you’re going through it. Before you know it your little ones are starting middle school and potty training is a distant memory 🙂
I agree that it’s important to start when the child is ready. We trained our 3 sons when they were around 3 years old, and they all learned quickly. I can’t say any one of them WANTED to get trained, but I could tell they were ready to be. Our daughter was trained around 2 1/2 years old. We went cold turkey during the day – no pull ups or diapers, just underwear. At night they we put them in diapers, but that only lasted at most a week for each of them.
I also agree that you need to make sure you are ready. I was committed each time we potty trained that I would have to stay home as much as possible for a few days to a week and put my full attention into potty training. I think that was a big factor in making it work.
Just keep in mind that each child will eventually get it!
Uggg…how did you know I was thinking about this today? I am so ready for my almost three year old son to be potty trained. He could care less if he is wet or has pooped. I know him well enough that one day it will click with him and he will want to do it. So, in the meantime, it is diapers. Thanks for the information.
We did the exact same thing and it worked! http://mamagab.blogspot.com/2011/06/adventures-in-potty-training.html
It took a little longer to get her to go #2 in the potty, but good old fashioned bribery got the job done. http://mamagab.blogspot.com/2011/06/potty-training-phase-two.html
She did not exhibit any of the signs of readiness, but I thought she was up for it and I finally was too.