To Be More Joyful: Be a Yes Mom
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Unless you’ve got a nanny, a housekeeper, a chauffeur, and a chef, it’s hard to manage a home and family–and still keep a smile on your face. But, it’s worth trying. Because nobody wants a crabby mom.
Ain’t that the truth?
I don’t know about you, but for me, crabby can manifest itself in a whole lot of no’s. No, we aren’t going to the park right now. No, we aren’t going to read that story. No, we aren’t going to play a game.
No, no, no.
Hmmm…. methinks that doesn’t sound much like peace, love, and joyfulness.
I’m not saying that there aren’t instances when we should say no. NO is an appropriate response to many situations. No, you may not jump off the roof. No, you may not hit your sister. No, you may not talk to people that way.
But, too often the no’s really mean “I don’t wanna.” At least at my house they do. I may be tired or overwhelmed by the tasks at hand. But, that’s not my kids’ fault. And sometimes, a break from the tasks at hand is necessary for everyone to get a better outlook. Myself included.
Say Yes When You Can
The Girl asked me one day if I would jump on the bed with her. At the risk of breaking the bed, I did. She was so happy. And it was actually kind of fun.
Over the last few months, three specific instances stand out in my memory as being some of my better YES-MOM moments: Magic Monkey Bananas, the DIY Smoothie Bar, and Tie-Dye Tshirts.
In each of those moments, I didn’t have a good reason to say no to a request except my own laziness or “I-don’t-wanna.” God gave me the wisdom to say, “YES,” instead and I think we were all blessed. It felt good to meet my children’s requests enthusiastically instead of skirting them with a “Maybe later,” or “Not today.”
They were pleased and I was pleased. And it makes me think what joy God must take when He blesses us.
For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened. Which of you, if his son asks for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? — Matthew 7:8-10
God always says yes to the things that He knows are good for us. He lavishes good things on us. And while we don’t know perfectly how to do this with our children, I want to be more like Him in having an open hand with good things.
In general, I’ve been a yes mom, but there of course are seasons of life when I’ve been a no mom, like when there is also a new baby in the house or some kind of worry (loved one’s health, plans for the future) hovering overhead. I’ve learned all kinds of silly things, like making finger puppets, having tea parties, playing video games and oh my goodness the board games!
I got into the Sonography program I’ve been working so hard for and the realization hit me like a ton of bricks…school 8-5 five days a week means precious little time with my 4-year-old. I DEFINATELY NEED to be a ‘yes mom’ these are the last few months I get to stay home with my daughter. I thought it was hard with school before, but now it will be INSANE! Thanks for this reminder…now if only you could sit on my shoulder and scold me when I say ‘no’…
I said yeas this time:
http://www.moneysavingmaineac.com/2010/07/i-said-yes-this-time.html
Thanks so much for this post, and the 14 Ways series as a whole! I needed to read this today–I have a 3 week old and a 3 year old, and for the last 3 weeks, my 3 year old has been hearing a lot of “no’s.” I need to get back in the game with him!
Oh how I remember the days when my son wanted to do things and I simply said “no”. I would take a lot of them back now if I could.
One thing that stands out for me is he always wanted to play Monopoly, (gosh I didn’t like that game)… Not for the game itself but that it took forever to play it, so I always said “no”.
Well he’s grown now, and he still likes to play it. So now when we are all together I try to break out the game and make up for lost memories. Better late than never I hope!
I’m throwing myself under the lazy “no” bus… yep..that’s me… I HATE doing things outside in Texas when its 104 outside. I really do… UGH! I need to suck it up and make some memories. I mean, it’s NOT like I’m going to melt!