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The Grass is Always Greener….

It can be all too easy for us to compare ourselves to someone else. It can be the celebrity on TV, a co-worker, a family member, or the girl next door.

And sometimes that comparison leads to jealousy and want. What we once thought was sufficient somehow pales next to what someone else has. Yes, the grass is always greener….

But more specifically, the grass is always greener — where you water it.

That celebrity may have a great physique, but she also works out several hours a day. Your co-worker might have received a promotion, but after six months of long hours on a difficult project. Your sister might have gotten into a great college, thanks to many years of studying and working hard for good grades. Your neighbor might have a really pretty home, but she also spends time each night sewing window treatments from clearanced fabrics.

In our comparison mindset, it can be easy to overlook that the other person may have worked really hard to get where she is. Why should we begrudge her?

Now enter Disclaimer:

Meritocracy* does not always rule the day. One may work diligently for 25 years on a job and get laid off two weeks before the pension kicks in. One may sacrifice for a company, a school, a church, a scout troop, a soccer team, and still get thrown under the proverbial bus. I get that. There are times when “watering” just gives us a big, soggy mess.

But….

But as far as comparison and discontent are concerned, sometimes we need to turn our focus to our own yards and not worry and fuss over what the neighbors have flourishing in theirs. Sometimes we need to reexamine our priorities and determine how much we’re willing to give to get those blossoms we so desire. And sometimes, we need to turn a blind eye to some renegade dandelions and just not worry about it.

Over the next month we’re going to be talking about this idea of “watering” various areas of life in the hopes of seeing good fruit sprout as well as pulling some weeds of discontent.

To think on:

  • What do you want to grow? An intimate relationship with God? A strong(er) marriage? A happy family? A confidence in who you are? Friendships?
  • How badly do you want it? What are you willing to give up to grow that?
  • How can the people who love you help you?

We’ll wrestle with these weeds of comparison and self-doubt in the hopes of enjoying this “life as mom” even more.

Godliness with contentment is great gain. — 1 Timothy 6:6

What first came to mind as something you want to grow?

Next: Find Living Water

*Meritocracy = a system in which advancement is based on individual ability or achievement.

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Comments

  1. Good reminder! Right now I’m trying to “water” my faith, and act on the belief even when my feelings are wavering.

  2. This is fantastic – You totally got me with, “where you water it.” I’d never thought of that before. But it is so true – the areas of my life where I have neglected to “water” are the ones where I am the most envious of others. Thanks for this revelation. I look forward to reading more!

  3. Shannon L says:

    I have so many areas that need to be watered, I don’t know which one to choose! Thank you so much for starting this series. I’m so excited to get started!

  4. I’ve been writing on this lately too.

    I heard Barlow Girl last year and they were saying “You have GOT to get over your fear of man.” Fear of what other people think of you….

    So I need to grow confidence!

  5. Thank you for acknowledging that it’s really possible to still get thrown under the bus after really sacrificing for something. In my case, it was a miserable ending to four years as a Girl Scout leader. By accepting that hard work and loyalty may not pay off every time, it clears the mind to get new resolve and find another nearby patch of “grass” to tend with care and energy.

    • Jessica Fisher says:

      I am sorry to hear that you got burned, Kathy. Been there, done that, and it hurts.

      I love how you worded the moving on, “find another nearby patch of ‘grass’ to tend with care and energy.” God bless you as you find other places to cultivate and serve!

  6. What a great concept! I love it, and so need this reminder right now. I am going through some hard things. Time to get the watering can – or better yet, hose out! :-)

  7. I needed this today. A few days ago, a family member passed away; my aunt, who was just in her early 40s suffered complications during a dialysis. Death really gives you a whole new perspective on life in the present: For me, death was a reminder that I have to live every moment as though it were my last. I have to suck the goodness out of life even when life “sucks.” My aunt can no longer do that. Me? I still have a whole life to live, a motherhood to explore, a marriage to keep finding new things to marvel in abt my spouse. The potential for a RENEWED perspective is, for me, the “water” for my present circumstance. :)

  8. Loved this post! Recently I have been struggling with choosing the highest priority. A lot of areas seem to be in need of some water and my mind runs in circles trying to decide where to focus first or how to be content with what is.

  9. Stephenie says:

    I need to water my relationships. I have trouble keeping them as the focus and not the to-do lists.

  10. So, very, very, VERY true!

    Thanks for being an inspiration today, and since I’ve found you, to work toward my goals and relationships.

    I’ve gotta keep watering or else they just won’t grow.

  11. my mom always said, “the grass is green on your side of the fence too, you just have to step back far enough from the fence to realize it!”

  12. I’m actually blogging on a similar topic in October. Living for Joy — finding reasons to be happy with your life, AS IT IS, and not wanting for more. Choosing to see your circumstances positively instead of negatively. Choosing to bless others around you with a happy attitude instead of constant negativity. I’m issuing a challenge to everyone and it starts on Friday — if anyone wants to join me!

    I really see my life (most of the time) as such a blessing, so positive. Even when I feel frustrated or annoyed it’s temporary and I frankly don’t want things any other way. I like them just as they are (barring, of course, what we’re striving for and working towards, but I’m willing to wait while we work; I’m not impatient, nor do I want the future we’re working towards to be handed to me without effort). I spend most of my time enjoying life and appreciating what’s around me…or at least really trying to! We all have bad days but we can try really hard to love our lives, even during dark times. I emerged from dark times feeling this way and I believe that God is using me to spread joy, so I hope I am able to do so. :)

  13. Thanks so much for this! I can’t wait for the rest of the posts on this topic. I might try to get my husband to read at least this one. We actually just discussed something similar to this this past weekend. My husband was laid off 2 years ago, and took a temporary job with a friend shortly after that….he is still working with him. He gets very discouraged when he sees what others around us have or are doing. This post might help him just a little.

  14. Love it. Part ‘Be content with what you got’ part, ‘if you don’t like something about it’. Hard to balance which goes in which, but very rewarding.

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