Years ago all my mother wanted for Mother’s Day was a clean house. At 5, 15, and 25, I didn’t get it.
Today, I completely understand what my mother was talking about. Completely. My helpers and I spent four hours last week, attempting a whole-house clean, and we didn’t get past the main living areas. We don’t own a lot of stuff, but all the dusting, vacuuming, and scrubbing took quite some time.
It’s more than the cleaning.
Yet, a clean house is not just the physical aspect of cleanliness. A clean house relieves that mountain of guilt moms tend to carry around.
On the flip side, a messy house is a reminder of what a failure you are. As you juggle responsibilities and let things some things slide, a messy house reminds you as soon as you walk in the door that you are failing in some area.
You can’t do it all. Did you forget that?
Yes, yes, I did, too.
Perhaps the housekeeping illustration isn’t working for you. There are cleanies in our midst, God bless you, for whom cleaning is second nature. But…
- perhaps dinnertime isn’t what you wish it was
- or maybe you’re often late to pick up our kids
- perhaps your family has no idea where the clean laundry is
- or maybe your car is constantly running on empty
- maybe you are imperfect in different ways
I get ya. You see, each of us is failing in some way. And many of us suffer from the Wonder Woman complex. We think that we should do it all, even though none of us can.
On Friday I proposed five gifts that your family could give to you. Today, I suggest…
3 Gifts You Can Give Yourself for Mother’s Day
Perspective
Remember that you cannot do it all. No one can. And we really should stop trying to.
There will be seasons when you are on a roll and seasons when you struggle. Learn to accept that. Start by recognizing your limits.
Forgiveness
You have probably messed up this past week. Well, let’s face it, you’ve probably messed up today. I know I have. But, berating ourselves for our faux pas doesn’t make them go away. Nor does it help our families.
Ask forgiveness if you’ve sinned against others. Confess to God and move on. Lose the guilt that binds you and make a fresh start. Live in the present — and do your best.
Hope
Have faith that you are the right mom for your children. Pray for help and wisdom, for stamina and creativity. Trust in God’s faithfulness and His ability to provide everything that you need.
Meditate on His words and take them to heart.
For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do. — Ephesians 2:10
Mother’s Day Gift Idea: We Love Mom Cupcakes
5 Fun Desserts
Celebrate Your Life as MOM This Mother’s Day
Lessons from Becoming Mom
My Mother’s Day Plans
Thank you for this reminder to let go of the frustration and feelings of being not quite good enough.
You are right. I AM His handiwork!
And I need to stop criticizing myself.
So right, we as women try to have it, do it all and then get angry with ourselves for not being able to do it. We need to give ourselves some slack every once in a while. Happy Mother’s Day to you.
I was interviewed as a mom who reads blogs, but not write one of my own. My comment was published and your blog was noted as one I read and it was because of posts like this that I do so! Thank you for your inspiration. Here is the article: http://www.sltrib.com/sltrib/news/51714869-78/blog-mom-blogging-com.html.csp?page=1
The comment is on page 3.
@Dawn, wow! Thanks for the mention. I know there’s a lot to read out there, and am honored that you choose Life as MOM. Thank you!
I really liked this; thanks! I’m going to give myself those gifts today 🙂
Thank you so much for this. It was exactly what I needed to hear. Bless you for your encouragement!
Happy Mother’s Day to you too! You have to be one of the dearest, kindest women and your children are blessed to have you as their mama!
@Kelley, I don’t know about THAT. lol. You are very sweet, though. Thanks.
Thank you. I needed to read that today as I had a good sized breakdown wondering why other women could get it together and I can’t. Thank you for reminding me that we all have our struggles and likewise, I have my own strengths.
Happy Mother’s Day!
Well, I, for one, DO NOT have it together. We’re in good company. 🙂
Thank you. This is just what I needed to hear. After a long hard 3 days of beating myself up, there is hope!
Thank you for this. I have had a rough few years adjusting to multiple moves, and I do tend to be VERY hard on myself when reality doesn’t meet my expectations. All three of your “gifts” are among the things that get me through — and it’s so nice to be reminded by someone who’s right there doing this mom thing. 🙂 Happy Mother’s Day!
Thank you for this post yesterday! I have a good friend struggling with “getting her up and go” back after just having had another baby, her 4th (of 5 children!) and the last two were 15 months apart! Your blog put eloquently the words and feelings I have been trying to tell her for a while now!
2 questions: Do you think, that as a SAHM who is homeschooling her kids (so around them ALL the time!) that on Mother’s Day, it’s all right to actually have the day OFF from kids? I know it’s a day to remember how blessed we are to have the family, life and kids we have – but sometimes you need a day off if you can get it. Just curious.
2nd – What would you suggest for dealing with 3 Mom’s (my own, 2 MIL’s) on Mother’s Day? Usually we spend the day going around to each Grandma’s House, dropping off a gift, spending time with them and the kids….we tend to grab a quick lunch out while eating at one of their houses. By the time we get home, I’m exhausted – and feel like I’ve lost an entire day. I’m open to suggestions about how to manage Mother’s Day, get in our visits – but still find a few hours for myself or for rest!
Thanks Jessica!
This was a great thing to read, especially since I thought I was the only one struggling with these things! My dad once told me that my mother wasn’t really meant to be a mother and I have been carrying that around since about middle school or early high school. When I got pregnant, it really started to haunt me and I still think sometimes maybe I’m not meant to be a mother. Thanks for telling me I am or else God wouldn’t have made me one!
Thanks for that! I just read it today, on my 48th birthday, in the middle of a mental tirade on how much everything is falling apart (including me)! 🙂 Knowing I can’t do it all is one thing; what I find most difficult is believing it! I think somehow internalizing that is the secret to relying on Jesus.