Breastfeeding Expectations Plus My Story of Nursing 6 Babies
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Exclusive breastfeeding for the first six months is generally recommended. Today I share my story with breastfeeding as well as what a new mom might expect.
This post was originally posted on May 1, 2012. The comments are so rich with experiences from a wonderful group of ladies who were kind enough to share their stories, I thought it would be good to bump this to the top.
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I breastfed all six kids. Exclusively. For the first six months.
I don’t say that to brag. I know many, many women who for a variety of reasons are unable to make breastfeeding work for them and their families. And I totally respect that.
The key principle is that your baby is well fed. Methods may differ.
Rather, I share my story because I want to give hope to new moms out there.
I know that I am probably in a minority in how I fed my babies. Recently, I read some statistics that showed me what a small population out there does six months exclusive breastfeeding. Recommended, but not often done.
I didn’t set out to do it any “special” way. I was not/am not a militant “breast is best” proponent. I never attended a La Leche League meeting. I only got halfway through the big breastfeeding handbooks, and then I felt like I was doing it all wrong.
But, I was the milk wagon for my babies. And I lived to tell the tale.
For the first six months of their lives, I continued to “eat for two” and be their main, no, their only source of sustenance.
Folks warned us with our first baby that if we didn’t give him a bottle in the first six weeks that he would never take one. The implication was that our lives would be ruined. Forever.
Honestly, it was so difficult and painful in those first few weeks of nursing, there was no way I was going to jeopardize his latch or my milk supply (so hard earned by that point) so that maybe, someday, we might leave him home with a babysitter for longer than two hours.
The first one never got a bottle. Neither did the others. At six months of age, they started some solids and started to learn about sippy cups with water. They nursed until they were a year old.
This isn’t the “right” way. This is just the way we did it.
Granted, I was a homebody. And I had chosen to be a stay-at-home mom. My expectations were simply that I would breastfeed my baby. So I did.
Did I go away for the weekend with my girl friends? No, but I never did that before he was born, either. Did I feel annoyed that he wanted to nurse every two to three hours? No, my type-A self needed someone to make me sit and rest before I overdid it. Did I spend lots of money on nursing clothes? No, tshirts and jeans have been my uniform for years.
Breastfeeding felt natural. At least, thank the Lord, after those first three weeks. Once you get through the “bite-your-lip-and-suffer-through-the-pain” stage. Yeah, I know, it’s not supposed to be painful. But, it was for a time. Just saying.
So, if you’re a new or expecting mom interested in breastfeeding your baby, here are some things to consider:
1. It probably won’t be easy.
Few good things in life are “easy,” especially those things that you are just learning. Be prepared for challenges and setbacks.
This applies to breastfeeding, but yes, it basically applies to your entire parenting career, too. Just when you think you’ve got it figured out, your baby will have a growth spurt, cut a tooth, get sick, or learn to drive.
Be ready to be challenged.
2. Your life won’t be your own.
Since I chose exclusive breastfeeding, mostly on demand, and opted out of bottle feeding, my time was not my own. Neither was my diet. I knew that if I went someplace without the baby, I would need to be back within the three hour window. With practice and planning, I was still able to get out and do things, but I was mindful that someone else depended on me.
And that I might get a call on my cell phone that was simply the sound of the baby crying.
I took daily vitamins, ate a balanced diet, avoided much, if any, drinking, and basically took that “eating for two” thing pretty seriously. As such, I probably took better care of myself than I had before children and in some seasons since breastfeeding has ceased.
That said, the fact that someone else depended on me was good for me. And taking care of my physical health, well, that was a pretty good thing, too.
And your life? Well, as a mom, you have a new life, shared with the people you love. It won’t be your “own”, but it will be good.
3. It really isn’t as long as it seems.
It’s so easy to count the days away, waiting for the baby to wean, start solids, sleep through the night. In the middle of it, it does seem like it will go on forever. But, it won’t.
That baby there will be eight years old next month. I still wear those pants. See? My Old Navy yoga pants have outlasted three babies breastfeeding. The time goes quickly!
The last nursing session will pass and you may or may not even realize that it’s the last. Last things are like that. They flee silently and quickly. And far sooner than you thought you were ready for them.
Life is like that.
4. It’s totally worth it.
Breastfeeding certainly wasn’t easy. I’ve had my share of late nights, mastitis, engorgement, blisters, and what-have-you. I probably cried and complained more than I remember. My life wasn’t my “own”, but despite the demands and the crying baby phone calls, it was good.
I had a closeness with my babies, an understanding of their needs, and a super power — that my husband did not possess — to comfort them when they needed me. It was very right for me to breastfeed, especially in keeping me connected with my kids and not off doing “projects” as I might have been drawn to, instead.
The days have passed all too quickly. I had a nursing baby for a good 12 to 13 years of my life. Yet, my baby-Baby is on her way to 4 years old. That last nursing session is long gone — and I do not remember it.
While I don’t believe I won any brownie points for breastfeeding, and I’m not sure that my kids’ more-or-less good health is attributed to nursing, I know that I do not regret it. Going without bottles or formula didn’t ruin us. I have wonderful memories of my breastfeeding daze. Amnesia? Perhaps. But, I know I would do it all over again.
And if it’s something you want, barring medical issues, I think you can do it, too.
Obviously, if you are away from your baby for the day due to work or school, then you’ll want to do that bottle thing, but don’t think it’s too hard to breastfeed exclusively. It really is doable!
It’s hard and it’s good at the same time.
That’s the mystery of motherhood.
If you’re a veteran mom, we would love to hear your breastfeeding story. I know that there are many situations where moms wish it had been different or better and many moms for whom breastfeeding did not work, despite their best intentions. I really want this post to be an encouragement to new moms. So, please temper any challenges you might want to share with a heavy dose of encouragement and optimism. Any bashing or absolute horror stories are subject to deletion. Thanks for understanding.
Thank you for writing on this!! And your tip on making it through the first 3 weeks is so true!! That being said I had to pump exclusively with my first child because after the first 3 days she refused to latch. I still wonder if maybe she was tongue tied. I thankfully was able to nurse my second child for 7 months and my 3 for 13!
Love this post! I also nursed all four of my babies – still going strong with #4 who is almost 2 years old. YES! One of these days {soon} we will work on weaning and I might be a little sad because I’m stopping at 4 and will never nurse again. Only two of my children ever had bottles and only because one was hospitalized at birth and I had surgery after #4. Back surgery after #4 and a child with non-life-threatening health problems {hip dysplaisa} has been all I can take!
But nursing is so, so important to me – for health of baby, health of mom, health of MY WALLET. LOL!
I did go to LLL meetings and made invaluable friendships – networked with like-minded women – and learned so much about myself and my children. LLL is there to help in any way they can. I love them and it makes me sad when people think they are too radical to be helpful. That has not been my experience at all. {Maybe I’m one of them though…} Anyway, just wanted to let you know that this post spoke to me! Great job.
Such an insightful post to a topic that seems to be so hush-hush nowadays. Thank you!
I nursed my first-born until he was 10 months and my second until she was 9 months. I think I would have preferred to go longer with my baby #2, but circumstances at the time weren’t in our favor.
You mentioned the one piece of advice that I received from a friend who had her first baby one year before me: if you can make it through the first three weeks, you’re good to go. I’m so glad she told me this, otherwise I would have thrown in the towel at week two with baby #1. If I hadn’t toughed it out with him, I sincerely believe that nursing baby #2 wouldn’t have been so easy (or maybe it was the delirious lack-of-sleep coma that comes with the new baby?). If there’s any advice to give new moms who are struggling nursing, I’d tell them the same thing.
I also enjoyed the closeness with my babies – so much. The feeling of “they need me” that no one else could satisfy. Sleeping while nursing! No spit up! No foul smelling diapers! Oh the bliss!
I nursed all 3 of my babies for over a year. I loved the special bond that I had with them during that precious time providing something that only I could give them. God provided a way for Mommas to feed their babies, so I figured that’s what’s best for them.
I got more comfortable feeding in public with each child. With my second child, I got a snazzy cover up and that helped me a lot. People look, but I figured if a mom saw me feed my baby in public, maybe they would try it too. The more it’s done, the more comfortable people will be with it.
I was always very sad when the time came to move on. I hated giving up that special time with my babies.
I’ve had a very similar experience to what you described (though only a third of the kids so far!). And I’ve loved it for similar reasons you listed! I feel very connected to my children.
I completely agree that it *does* hurt those first few weeks, but, like the pain of childbirth it’s so worth it (to me) — but that by no means makes it easy! The painful time period was much less with my second than my first.
I like feeding on demand because I feel like it helps me learn more about my children’s needs and how they communicate. (This took a lot longer with my first!)
I also agree that exclusively breastfeeding didn’t “ruin us,” but I’m an introverted homebody who prefers not to go out, so that’s probably part my personality, too.
I agree here, too: “That said, the fact that someone else depended on me was good for me. And taking care of my physical health, well, that was a pretty good thing, too.”
Thanks for your honesty and openness in this post!
Not all breastfeeding hurts. My baby latched on minutes after he was born and it went smoothly from there on out. I was definitely an independent career woman who had no plans to breastfeed exclusively until that moment. Oh, my!! I was hooked as much as he was. Ha! Yes, it was hard to go out and it was difficult to be the “only” source of nutrition, but it did end much too quickly. One day he drank a bottle of formula and that was that… he decided to end it on his own (at about 7 or 8 months). Wished I hadn’t given him the bottle as that took awhile to get away from him… like years… LOL! He is 19 now and we have an extra strong bond that I attribute to his breastfeeding and his colic… but that’s another story.
My first child I nursed for three months with a shield. I couldn’t get her to latch on even with the lactation specialists help. I decided I would rather do it with a shield than not at all. I was shy about nursing in public so I pumped a lot. By three months my supply was almost non existent from pumping.
My second child latched on about five minutes after she was born. I used a shield a few times on some really painful days. I nursed her for eight months and was heart broken when she started preferring her bottle. IF I decide to have a third kid I would do it the same way. Not everyone is for shields but it was there when it was my only option with #1 and helped make it a little easier when necessary for #2.
I had to use a shield for both of mine. My first would not latch on. I thought she wasn’t nursing enough, but everyone told me we’d get the hang of it. But at her 1 week visit, she had lost over a pound and I was told ” Your baby is starving.” I was clueless about nursing! I went home with a pump, used a bottle for a bit… then went to see a lactation consultant, got the right size shield, and she gained weight right away. She nursed fine with it, but she took an HOUR! I hung in there since I was a SAHM, but the whole 1 hour on, 2 hours off thing, was really wearing! She kind of weaned herself at 15mos.
With my son, I had to pump since he was in the NICU for 5 weeks. Once he came home, I gradually transitioned to nursing. I used a shield for awhile, then once he got the hang of it, he refused bottles! He didn’t take quite as long…only 30-45 minutes. That’s still a long time compared to my friends whose babies take 10 min! By 18 mos. I was ready for him to wean. I went back pumping, and just started giving him less each day. Don’t know if that’s how you’re supposed to do it, but, hey, it worked!
If we have another child, I will consider solely pumping if the baby takes an hour to nurse. I don’t know if it would work or not, but I hated the fact that nursing took forever! We shall see…
I nursed my baby for 13 months, and plan to nurse the next one in June. The first 2 months (he is a stubborn guy who had jaundice and didn’t want to learn) were really really hard. But I am so so so glad (did I say that enough?) that I stuck it out. I did some pumping and bottle feeding as well, because of the jaundice thing, and it totally worked for us. If you want to, I think there are lots of ways to make breastfeeding work. My best advice is to find a friend who is also nursing (or has somewhat recently nursed) a baby. Their support and sympathy will be invaluable. You can do it!! Thanks for the great post! Perfect timing to help get my head back in that game!
I nursed both my babies for a year and I loved it. That said it was also difficult -my first baby was nearly 10 pounds at birth and I was young. But I never had a backup plan of the bottle, and I don’t know if that was good or not! We stuck it out and I enjoyed that bond so much with them both (i had mastitis, lots of plugged ducts and enough milk to feed twins). I also had the resource of a lactation specialist and she helped a ton. So new moms, ask for help! Usually a hospital offers help and ask other moms, you need support to be successful.
Although the federal WIC program has a reputation for being a place to get formula, they actually really want to help women breastfeed, and have a great lactation support staff that is available to the community, even if you are not on the program. They are great to help out if you are struggling.
I really enjoyed reading this. I breastfed my son exclusively for the first 4 months, I didn’t know at the time waiting until 6 months was better. I’m hoping to exclusively nurse my 3 month old until she’s 6 months, however, she already wants our dinner :/
My son never took a bottle and although I have tried a few times with our daughter, I’m not pushing it. She doesn’t care for it and that’s fine with me. My husband had hoped to share in feeding her, but he understands.
I really love nursing my children. I have 2 adopted girls as well and I’m sad I missed out on that time with them. The time I spend each day nursing my daughter is precious to me and already seems to be special to her as well.
Thanks for sharing your story! And I think that they mean nursing instead of formula for six months. But, I could have misunderstood. Either way, sounds like you did great!
I’m pretty sure pumping and giving your child your milk is a good option when you need to be gone and fits the guidelines of breastfeeding exclusively for the first six months.
Jessica- Thanks for sharing your story I really have had a similar experience with my four kids. Breastfeeding is a blessing the Lord gave to us moms who might otherwise be distracted to make ourselves busy with other things and miss some of those precious moments with our babies.
Great post!!! Thanks for writing that!