Why We Do School at Home
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There are lots of reasons to homeschool. Today I share why we do school at home.
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Hubby and I just got home from the California Great Homeschool Convention. I only mis-navigated the adventure a few times during our travels, and we only took a couple wrong turns.
But, it was an overall success because FishPapa and I had a chance to reconnect and revisit some ideas as regards our homeschool.Â
We also talked about the why’s and what for’s of our children’s education at home.
I’ve been meaning to write this post for several years: Why do you homeschool? It’s a question that folks wonder about, especially since I was once a public school teacher, raised by public school teacher parents with a mother-in-law who was, you guessed it, a public school teacher.
It’s also a good question for us to ask ourselves from time to time, so that we can be reminded of our purpose. And be encouraged when the days are hard. Because, yes, the days are sometimes hard.
Why do we do school at home?
This question has lots of answers. And the answers have evolved over time. We got married 18 years ago. In that time we’ve welcomed six babies to our family. We’ve lived and schooled in two different states. Life has been full of all kinds of twists and turns.
When we married, I was in graduate school getting my teaching credential in secondary school English. At that time I had no vision of ever teaching my kids at home, at least not as their main instructor. Surrounded by other teacher families in our church and community, we took the stance of being as involved as possible in our community and in our local school, but never would we homeschool.
Things have certainly changed since then. Ready to go back in time with me?
1997: Just a beginning of a beginning
In 1997 I was a teacher in a public high school, in my second year, desperate for tenure (read: job security) as I taught  American Literature and Introductory French as well as served as the Yearbook advisor. I was the youngest teacher on campus, a mere four or five years older than some of my students.
The odd thing about that experience was that parents looked to me for advice with their children. Many of them were old enough to be my parents but they looked to me to counsel them, not about French and English, but about parenting and discipline issues. Me?!
All because the state had handed me a teaching credential.
During that second year I was burdened by the parenting and discipline issues more than the teaching of subject matter. In a department meeting I was stunned to hear my colleagues sigh about the parents, roll their eyes about the parents, complain that they were tired of doing what the parents wanted when it came to educating the children.
Many of these teachers really felt that parents were in their way. They wanted carte blanche to do, say, and teach whatever they wanted in the classroom, regardless of what the parents of their students wanted. This sentiment may be “normal” or traditional, but it didn’t sit right with me.
I hoped that I would someday have children and I knew that I was responsible for the care of my children. I wanted them to have an excellent education and a strong moral compass. And though I was only a 23-year old teacher at the time, I didn’t appreciate my young, whipper-snapper peers dictating what children should or shouldn’t learn — or rolling their eyes when a parent “interfered”.
Whether it was disdain for the parents’ religious viewpoints, values, or literary preferences, these folks wanted to call the shots.
Disclaimer! Now, I know that there are many, MANY teachers who do not take such a cavalier stance about their students. Many of my friends are such teachers. There are multitudes of very fine teachers who really do partner with parents to educate children in the best way they can. And in the defense of teachers, there are many parents who abdicate their responsibilities and leave teachers holding the bag not only to teach subject matter, but also to serve as a child’s sole  guide into adulthood.
That said, this was a situation that concerned us. Later that year our first child was born. From the get-go we decided that we would teach him at home. While I don’t believe that there is anything wrong in delegating a child’s education to others, the climate in California education — and especially in my own community — at that time convinced me that I couldn’t completely trust those in charge. I wanted to be hand’s on and not give ear to the siren song that says, “Don’t worry. The school will take care of it.”
FishPapa and I saw the responsibility as ours, not one to abdicate to those who may or may not hold the same values for a quality education or even simply respect our position as parents. At that time, I would say (and still do):
We are choosing home education because we want to be as “hands on” as possible.
2002: The beginning
Of course, it’s easy to say one thing when you’re pregnant or holding a newborn. It’s an altogether different thing to actually do it. When our oldest was one year old, we moved from Santa Barbara to the small town of Paso Robles. There we bought a house, dug down roots, met a bunch of homeschoolers, and had two more kids.
In those preceding years, I had devoured all the homeschooling literature I could lay my hands on, including but not limited to The Well-Trained Mind and Recovering the Lost Tools of Learning. I was sold out on homeschooling. My love of curriculum and my teaching background made me eager (probably overly so) to get started. I couldn’t wait for my son to be old enough to “do school.”
We did a preschool program at home, including lots of books and imaginative play. By the fall of 2002, I had three kids, aged 5, 2, and infant. We were well on our way to learning at home together. I couldn’t imagine sending my boy off someplace else. We were having too much fun together! And while the days were certainly long, I enjoyed spending them with my kids. At that time, I would say (and still do):
We are choosing home education because we love being together and learning together.
2011: Reassessing
In the years that followed, we moved cross country — twice: To Kansas and Back Again. We added three more children to the fold. Last spring, they were in 8th, 5th, 3rd, 1st, and pre-school. So far I had taught four kids to read, write, and do basic mathematics. We’d reaped a multitude of benefits, including:
- a custom-made curriculum for each child
- an abundance of field trips and extra-curricular activities
- a flexible school (and vacation) schedule
- an ability to change a curriculum that wasn’t/isn’t working
- a freedom to take a break when everyone was tired, fussy, crabby
- an overall atmosphere of learning and peace in our home that isn’t interrupted by school schedules, conferences, or conflicts with people who may or may not love my family the way I do
- an independence of thought as we realize that we don’t fit the typical homeschool mold (we agree with lots of folks on lots of points, but aren’t “lock step” with any one philosophy, method, or denim jumper style)
Yet that spring we did a massive reevaluation. When you take on the sole responsibility of teaching your children at home, there is always that nagging fear, What if you make a mistake? It’s there. And there’s no teacher or principal to blame.
The flip side of that is that there’s no one to blame. The responsibility is ours. And this, really, is what we signed up for. It certainly hasn’t been easy. But, it has been good.
And as we reevaluated last year, wondering if we should charter or private school for our son’s upper grades, we realized: If it’s not broke, why fix it? We’d enjoyed these years of benefits. Our kids were (and are) people who we love to be with. We enjoy learning things together and helping our kids make sense of the world. Standardized testing showed that everyone was on track for his age. And they all know how to look someone (of any age) in the eye and hold a decent conversation.
Again, it hasn’t been easy. But, it has been good. And if you asked me last spring and summer, why are you homeschooling, I would have said (and still do):
We are choosing home education because it’s working for our family.
2012: Today
In the last five months, I’ve done an extreme homeschool makeover, gone on a blogging trip to meet a homeschooling hero, reread one of the guiding influences over my educational philosophy, and now am fresh from two days spent at a homeschool convention listening to speakers, swapping notes with my peers, looking at curriculum, and chatting with my husband about this wild and crazy thing we call life.
I’m excited about the year ahead and feel my confidence renewed that we can go the distance. We may not do it like anybody else. We may be carving a path in the jungle together. We may make a ton of mistakes, but at least they’ll be our mistakes, not someone else’s.
We enjoy our family, weaknesses and all. We love being hands-on with our kids’ education, learning together, spending time with our kids — and it’s all working for us (more or less).
Why are you homeschooling? Today I say:
Why not?
We don’t have any reasons NOT to homeschool. So far in this wild and crazy life of ours, our kids are literate, sociable individuals who can read, write, and do math. They are fun to be with and can converse with folks of a range of ages and dispositions.
So, that’s my story. What’s yours?
Thanks for sharing. This was an encouraging post. I’m completing my fifth year of homeschooling this year and feeling worn out. I have 5 children and trying to keep up with household responsibilities, homeschooling and a baby who is a terrible sleeper has been rough this year. Bottom line though is I do believe it’s best for our family so I keep trucking on and it’s great to hear from other families that have made it through times like this. I think I would really miss my children if they were gone all day and I love the relationships they have developed with their siblings.
I feel like there was a big chunk of the last ten years that was “survival mode” with babies, less sleep, etc. It gets easier — and harder. But, it’s all good in the end. Hang on!
Thanks for this post! I’ve been thinking on this topic a lot recently. We just finished our second year of homeschooling and we had a few friends that tried their first year this year and are sending their kids to public or private schools next year. My husband and I asked ourselves why when we heard this and realized that we homeschool with conviction and commitment. The truth of the matter is that homeschooling is not easy. We firmly feel that God has called us to homeschool and we will tell anyone that asks that answer. We both agree it is not for everyone and it’s not our job to tell others what is best for their children. We love our life, as hard as it is sometimes and wouldn’t trade it for the world!
Great read! We’ve been schooling at home for 5-6 years now. I have four kids and one on the way. We’ve gathered a homeschool curriculum, and used virtual public charters as well as private virtual schools. We school at home for the same reason – it works really well for us! As a military family it has allowed our children to be home during the day when their deployed dad calls. It also allows them to stay caught up and not get lost educationally with all the moves. I also know exactly what my children are reading/learning. This has allowed some really great family conversation. Whereas before, my kids responses were things like “I don’t know…I can’t remember what we did today” or “It was fine” and my favorite “Today this kid in my class got in trouble and we watched High School Musical during gym class.” I just feel like we are able to promote things of greater focus and value in the home. I will say though – it is tough but WORTH IT to us! 🙂
Your beginning story sounds so much like mine. I was a high school teacher, who never considered homeschooling, until I taught the first few years in the schools. I saw a lot of the same things you did and decided that I wanted to be in charge of my children’s education. We have our first little one at home, who is only 1 years old, but we have already joined the homeschooling network at our church and have started researching curriculums.
Great post! We are entering our 10th year of homeschooling! Having a great homeschool support group around has been such a huge blessing for us. The kids have made great friends and it’s great for the mom’s to be able to have someone to go to for information and help.
I’m also constantly reminding myself that 1) I am not trying to replicate the school (obviously they don’t work well) and 2)It’s okay to be “behind”. I put that in quotes because being “behind” means someone is “ahead” and in homeschooling there aren’t usually two students in the same class! I remind myself that I’m looking for mastery of Algebra NOT a passing test grade. And if it takes us weeks to master it it’s okay! The foundation has to be there if you’re going to build on it! 3)almost everything we do falls into “education”. My son decided he wanted to play guitar. In the last 3 years he has slowly but surely taught himself how to play (Thanks to You Tube!). Now he’s to the point where he wants lessons…and I’m glad to get them for him…because it’s something he desires. I want my kids to desire to learn new things. 4) I want to to train them to be kind, caring people who love Jesus more than anything. We have discussions on bullying, drugs, alcohol, poverty, etc. We can use the Bible as our authority and see examples around us. We can volunteer in our community and develop their moral compass.
These are the ones that we currently love about homeschooling…every year we add more to the list!
Following a kid’s interests is so fun, isn’t it?
Thank you a million times over for this post! I am making the transition to homeschool and it is daunting. I often feel judged by others for daring to do something different. I also have felt uncomfortable with many homeschoolers’ general attitudes toward those who choose public school. I was so happy to read this post that simply illustrates doing what works for your family.
My son seems to be some type of dyslexic but because his IQ is slightly above the average for his age, our public school cannot help him. His self-esteem is ruined. His teacher is AMAZING and has been such a help on her own time. She recognized the signs and tutored him for free. But in the end, she was bound by the system.
I am so very blessed to be able to do this and I know not everyone can. But I cannot feel bad or guilty for giving my son what I can. I know not everyone can stay home and not everyone would want to homeschool, but I am thankful to have the freedom to choose it….or not.
Yeah! So excited for this journey you’re off on. Fresh from the homeschool convention, I feel confident that you will find your path to make your son’s school rich and rewarding for you both. Let me know how I can help!
I really enjoyed reading this! Thank you for sharing your journey.
I’m now in that “Just a beginning of a beginning” phase, with only one child so far, my 4 1/2 month son. It’s exciting and also intimidating to think about teaching him.
It is. But, so is parenting in general! LOL. This is just a part of walking alongside him as he grows and develops. Of course, for the moment you have to carry him. 😉
I’ve heard this fear before, but I’ve also heard a great response. As parents, we teach our children to walk, talk, use the toilet, etc. Why do we suddenly think we’re incapable of teaching because they’ve turned 5? Just something to think on while you’re tending to your precious little son.
I am 2 weeks away from graduating my first child, whom has been completely homeschooled from the beginning. (We have four more behind her.) She has been accepted into a great university in the program of her choice. Did we make mistakes? Yep. Do I wish I had done some things differently, looking back? Absolutely. But you make what seem to be the right decisions at the time, based on the current circumstances/goals/guidance; and then you just do your best and trust God to fill in the gaps in His own way. And we are SO PLEASED and PROUD of the woman she has become. We are SO aware of the fact that even with homeschooling, it is not our effort but God’s grace that raises our children. But we have loved our homeschooling journey and I want to encourage you in yours, even through high school, if that’s what you decide. As parents we are fallible, as teachers we have error–but God is neither of those things, and we can lean on Him and trust in His sovereignty over our children’s lives.
Amen!
Thanks for your encouragement. Yes, we are on track for high school. Outsourcing some subjects so that we all stay happy. 😉
This was a wonderful post. I was reading Charyse’s response and I know that some homeschoolers can isolate themselves to those who send their children to school and it’s a shame that they would act that way.
On the flip side though, we’ve had people say we’re crazy for homeschooling and that we are damaging our children’s chance on a good start in life. Oh and then there’s the “socialization” thing. LOL! I know you know.
Ultimately though you gotta do what’s best for your family because each family is soooo different.
We homeschool for many different reasons. Many you’ve mentioned right here. But for us it’s also a biblical stance. Most public schools are so anti-God now a days it’s scary.
Well anyway, I just wanted you to know that I really enjoyed reading this. I didn’t mean for my comment to be as long as your post. LOL!
Have a lovely day.
Kim
I love the way you presented your beliefs on homeschooling. I have never seen such an open minded point of view by a homeschooling parent when talking to them. I am a school teacher and in September 2013, I fully intend to send my daughter to kindergarten in public school. However, I feel like you are the first homeschooling person who respects those who choose public education and for tlhat I say thank you! Too often, I have been criticized for being a working mom (will be leaving my teaching job at the end of this school year) and I felt so inadequate because we simply could not afford for me to stay home.
I choose public education for two main reasons:
1. My best friends in high school were Christian. They showed me the path to Jesus and essentially saved my life. If their parents had chosen to homeschool I don’t know where I would be today.
2. So many children have parents who will not or cannot support their children at home. I feel like, if good parents do not step up and push for good education for all students, then the gap between homeschooled or private school students and public schools will continue to widen and widen.
Thank you for your positive position on homeschool vs. public education.
Hey Charyse,
I read your comment and I know of those you speak of. It saddens me that some homeschoolers can and do behave that way. It makes it sound as if we are somehow better than others because of what we do.
We do homeschool our children but we also realize that every family is different and need to do what is put on their hearts to do and it’s not our place to judge.
Just keep on doing what you are doing if it’s working for ya girlfriend. LOL!
Have a great day.
Kim
My view is much like Jessica’s. How to educate our children is a very personal decision and there is no one right way. Since my son was born, I have felt so strongly that God wants me to homeschool even though I had never considered it before. Often when I mention to friends that I am going to homeschool, it seems that they get on the defensive as if my decision is a criticism of their parenting. Thank you Jessica and Charyse for exhibiting the tolerant attitudes that I wish everybody would have.
Charyse, thanks for sharing your experience. While I think anyone could homeschool, I’m never going to say, “thus sayeth the Lord.” That gets overused a little bit. 😉
Blessings to you on your journey of motherhood!
Hi, I enjoyed reading your post. I actually don’t agree that anyone COULD homeschool. I have a couple sisters, for instance, with addiction issues and very unstable homes and believe their children are far better off in a public school for part of the day. I homeschool and consider it a great privilege and responsiblity but also believe we need healthy public/alternative schools out there.