Getting Started in Homeschooling: Deciding to Go for It
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Are you thinking about homeschooling? Wondering if it’s the right thing for your family? Here are some thoughts to help you decide if you should go for it.
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Years ago, 2011 to be exact, Kelley wrote in, asking about homeschooling and how to get started. I thought it might be good to answer her letter here as there may be others with the same questions. In fact, I know there are, because on this survey, that was a recurring theme.
“More homeschooling posts!” shouted the people.
Today in 2016, it seems like it’s a good time to update this post and make sure all my advice is current.
Here’s Kelley’s letter from five years ago:
Dear Jessica,
I am strongly considering home schooling my five year old this fall. He is my oldest, and I am very confused about where to start. I have visited the Simple Homeschool site frequently but it seems that will be a priceless resource once I have my home school more established. I am wondering where to start??
Are there certain posts to read? Books? I realize each person’s approach is different. I am looking for the basics. Things to look at, things to consider and how to get started. If I, in fact, embark on this venture, I want to try my best to be as prepared as possible.
Many Thanks,
Kelley
You ask some great questions! While May and June are the months when school is slowing down, the mind of a homeschool mom is gearing up. Though we are tying up loose ends in our current academic year, we’re also turning our thoughts toward next year, planning and purchasing curriculum. My sister is already endlessly texting me about curriculum to borrow or buy for next year.
Getting Started in Homeschooling: Deciding to Go for It
It’s also the time for beginners to decide if they’re going to take plunge, if they haven’t already.
Rather than try to reply to all your questions at one time, my “answer” will be provided in a series of posts over the coming months. And it will be an interactive series as I hope other homeschooling families will chime in. It is not meant to be a debate over what style of education is better. [So, folks, save your breath.]
Instead, we’re talking about how to make decisions, questions to ask yourself, where to go for advice, and the like.
Should you go for it?
My husband and I first considered homeschooling long before we had our first child. The story of how that philosophy developed is a detailed one. The short story is that we felt compelled to be as hands-on as possible with our children’s education. You can read the full treatise on why we homeschool here.
There are obviously a number of ways ways to go about this. Many families choose public school; others choose private. And they are able to be involved in their kids’ lives.
We’ve taken a different approach and have chosen to educate our children at home. I am not one of those people who say that other options are void. I haven’t found it in the Bible where it says that.
We’ve simply found it to be the best choice for our family. We’ve graduated one child from our homeschool, have two in high school, one in middle school, and two in grammar school. Years ago we explored other options for our first high schooler, and opted to stick with the original plan.
I can’t tell you whether YOU should homeschool or not. You need to determine what’s best for your family.
However, I can say that homeschooling has proven to be one of the richest experiences of my life as a mom. I have had the opportunity to know my children in a way that I don’t think would be possible if we had chosen a different style of education. We’ve enjoyed books, field trips, science experiments, and other adventures together, learning about the world all along the way. I am blessed beyond measure from having had this experience.
But, you and your husband have to make the decision for you.
Some things to ask yourself:
Do you enjoy being with your kids?
I’ve never considered this to be a sacrifice. I enjoy being with my kids and frankly, can’t imagine being away from them all day long. Though there are some very, very rough days, those days push me and challenge me to tackle the obstacles.
I’m not with them 24/7. We all get breaks from one another, but we enjoy spending our days together.
Do you enjoy reading and learning?
I have a Master’s degree in Education. But, I’m continue to learn everyday with my kids — even after 15 years of homeschooling. I had no clue that there were so many gaps in my education, but there were. Slowly I’m filling them up alongside my children.
Are you a good enough teacher?
Simple Homeschool tackled this question awhile ago. Jamie’s answer is better than mine would be. (And I think if you dig around the archives over there, you’ll find a wealth of information for beginners, including this great series, Should I Homeschool or Not?)
Are you okay with raised eyebrows and potential criticism from others?
Despite what your brother-in-law’s cousin’s neighbor may say, homeschooling is not a fringe movement. In fact, the appeal of home education is reaching the mainstream, crossing lines of religion and politics. There are homeschoolers of every color, creed, and political party.
Still there will be critics no matter where you go. And you need to be okay with that. Homeschooling is legal in all 50 states, thanks to the hard work of others who’ve fought to secure those rights. It is a legal, viable option — and nothing to be timid about.
These questions are certainly not exhaustive. I’m sure there’s something that I’m missing. But, they’re good food for thought as you explore the wonderful world of homeschooling.
Homeschooling parents, how did you know homeschooling was right for your family?
Next time: choosing an educational philosophy.
This post was originally published May 11, 2011.
I don’t homeschool nor do I plan to unless we have extenuating circumstances once our boys are older. That said, reading this blog (as wel as many others) has really changed my perception of homeschooling. I used to be completely against it but the more I learn and read the writings of homeschooling Moms l see how it can be a really great option for many families.
Even though we’re not a homeschooling family I would love to read more articles about how you manage time management with homeschooling. I know you’ve done some but I’m anal retenetive and curious. Ha ha. Since my second son was born I’ve really struggled with how to balance his needs with those of my almost 5 y/o. It’s getting easier but for awhile it was rough as we couldn’t even read books while the baby was awake. I’m in awe of how you homeschooling Moms manage this.
I also have to say I’m boggled at the criticism homeschooling families have to deal with. Even when I was anti-homeschooling I cannot imagine a circumstance under which I would have voiced that to a homeschooling family. Even if they were related to me. But people really feel free to say whatever they want sometimes, don’t they?
@Beth,
There’s another Beth! Ha ha.
I’m the one who replied above, not the homeschooling Beth. 🙂
@Beth, LOVE it that you chimed in, esp. since you’re looking at it from the other side.
I am guessing that some non-homeschoolers have felt judged by some homeschoolers and so they are lashing back. I dunno. It’s traditionally a “conservative” movement. As a conservative, I think that alone gives people permission to attack. It’s not PC for it to go the other way, though.
@Jessica Fisher,
For some reason child rearing in general makes people feel they can offer any kind of advice or criticism. My older son often doesn’t want to wear his coat and unless it’s dangerously cold I choose not to fight that battle. Amazing how much this Bothers People. I once had an older woman tell him she’d put him in Time Out if he was her grandson. Strangers are very invested in whether or not my kid is wearing a coat when it’s 50 degrees. I can’t imagine the crap homeschooling Moms must have to deal with!
@Beth
I was pregnant with my 3rd and my 2 year old and I had had a rough morning, but we had to get to the grocery store, and I let her go in a short sleeve shirt on a gray day ( in southern CA mind you). Wow, the lecture I recieved from some lady I had never seen before about how I had failed to dress my daughter warm enough for the weather. (My daughter is not fat, but certainly still had her baby weight and was decently insulated by her clothes I would say.)
We’re wrapping up our first year homeschooling. We decided to take the plunge when I was 38 weeks pregnant with our 4th child and I had a total freak-out about how we were ever going to afford private school tuition for 4. (Nevermind that only one was in private school at the time!)
We decided to try it for a year because my second-born was ready to enter kindergarten, and we thought it would be easier to give homeschooling a try this year, instead of having to remove her from her school in order to try it when she was in 1st grade.
It’s been a good year. Even on tough days (or weeks), what’s kept me going is my belief that homeschooling is a really excellent method of education.
Before I ever had kids, The Well Trained Mind by Susan Wise Bauer made me want to homeschool my own children. If you’re looking for inspiration, skip the nitty-gritty curriculum info and just read her story about her own education. Hearing what’s possible for homeschoolers (because of the flexibility and personalization possible for them) makes me want to keep going!
We just finished our first year of hschooling our 6yr old son. There were PLENTY of days where we all wanted to throw in the towel, but there were MANY more that were delightful!! We had a great year and I am SO grateful that my husband and I really listened and obeyed the calling we felt from the Lord to do this. That along with not being at all satisfied with our public school system were the main reasons for hschooling.
We have decided to pray and then make our decision on hschooling yearly. Otherwise, it is just to overwhelming for me to think about what we will do in 5th grade, 12 grade etc. We are keeping an open mind and an open heart and doing what we feel is the best for our family.
We too are doing an online school and there are pros and cons. I supplement a lot, but it has also been a great resource for my son who was recently diagnosed with ADHD.
I would LOVE to read a post about how other moms teach children with special needs. Especially since it seems that SO many little boys are being diagnosed with ADHD.
My expirence with my younger brother they put him on meds and he couldn’t sleep. I don’t recommend it all. There are other alternatives. Call 211 they can help you with that they are great!
Thanks
Liz
Hope it all works out!
I just can’t imagine turning my children over to other people that I don’t know for them to teach them. I’ve known too many people who were teachers that I did NOT want teaching my children. Yes, there are good teachers out there, but there are also bad ones. Besides, I want to be the biggest influence in my children’s life, and I can’t do that if they spend eight hours (or more) away from me everyday.
Yes I’m so glad to read this!! I’ve been so scared to just do it. I feel in my heart that it is the best for my child. Thanks so much!
I am very excited for this topic as well. We have decided to pull my oldest from public school and begin homeschooling in the fall. He will be in 2nd grade. As well as my daughter who will be starting K.
As far as getting the ‘hairy eyeball’ from friends and family…it really frustrates me. I can not even count the number of people who have expressed concern about his ‘socialization’ but not one person has asked about cirriculum or anything of the sort. My biggest fear is missing something in his education or leaving gaps, not that he will turn out to be socially inept.
Isn’t that funny? People love to play the socialization card. But, really socialization can be good OR bad in the mainstream. I had one lady tell me that she most worried about the high school drug culture. Not that my kids are immune to that, but there is a buffer of sorts doing school at home.
I can totally relate. I am keeping both my daughters out of school for three weeks to try it out my three year old has her spring break next week and my older girl is 7 has here the following. And due to my mom having surgery this week she needed me to drop her off in am and pick her up in late afternoon. This week so far has been great! My girls are adjusting and getting along great. I am studying to be a Kindergarden teacher. And I always thought homeschooling was best for my family. So we will see what happens! Good luck talk to you soon!
Liz
love this! i just finally decided this week that we will pull my oldest home from school next year. he will be in 4th. my oldest 3 will be in traditional school. to say that i’m frightened is an understatement. lol
I have not struggled with things more than i have struggled with the criticism of others. it paralyzed me in making this decision. it’s a silly fear because most likely they criticize and then will forget all about it. i think the criticism hurts most when you are so unconfident to start. i hope i love it. i love the idea for our family.
@Flamingo, Seems good that you are working with each child individually to see what is best for each personally!
I am not a homeschooled child, nor do I plan to homeschool, but I would submit one more question for people to ask themselves before they decide to homeschool:
Is the match between my personality/learning and teaching style a productive match with my childs?
Obviously, the answer is not always a yes if you choose a public school or private – but those teachers change every year. You will never be someone else.
I was always exceedingly grateful as a child that my parents did not homeschool because my mother and I just could not get along for her to teach me something complicated. We did fine with learning to read, etc. But there are other memories – the bathrobe, teaching to sew incident, etc. that were not as good. My mother and I are just very very very different people who approach things from right and left field. She couldn’t, and still sometimes can’t, see where i’m coming from to save her life. It’s fine, but it would have been a very corrosive relationship for homeschooling. However, it probably would have gone fine for my brother.
@Christine,
This made me smile because I know homeschooling my children early in the their education would be a bad idea for all of us. I’m a cello teacher, mostly private lessons right now, and my experience has shown that I’m not the greatest with kids under 9 years old. Since I have a speciality education rather than a general one (not to mention math and science are not my thing at all!) I don’t feel qualified to homeschool my kids. It just wouldn’t go well. 🙂
@Christine, I think this is well said. I was not homeschooled and I am only considering this option for my child. I do know that my mother and I would NOT have made it work if she had chosen that path for me. I also am such a social butterfly, who loved each and every year of public school education, and I think that I would have gone nuts!
We knew homeschooling was right for us because we wanted to be together as a family. We had recently been seperated as my husband was working on the other side of the country. I just couldn’t imagine sending my little 5 year old off to school for the day while the rest of us enjoyed time to together (with dad working at home). Things continued from there. Many years later that 5 year old is heading off to college this coming fall! Of course, our reasons have changed and grown along the way as more children have been added to our home school. Each Wednesday I post a short sentence about why I homeschool, if anyone would care to take a peek.
We just enrolled our 15 year old son in an on-line school. He was recently diagnosed with asperger’s syndrome. Still can’t figure out how he got to be a freshman in school without anybody noticing. I’m sure I’ll learn some things that will help me help him. Thanks for doing this series.
If anyone else is considering on-line school make sure that the school gives a diploma and are an accredited school.
The school that we choose does its curriculum in 2- 18 week periods with each 18 weeks of 2 core and 2 elective courses. So by the end of the school year they have 4 core and 4 electives.
Joann:
I really applaud you for pulling your son out of the public school system. I have seen several instances where a child who has Asperger’s really never does well with peers, despite well meaning teachers and counsellors. While my son has AD/HD and is not on the spectrum (at least officially) I look back at all the bullying he endured, and how hard he had to work to fit into a system that wasn’t designed for boys who have AD/HD – I wish we had homeschooled him from about 12 to 14.
Best of luck in your new endeavor!
Thank you for sharing this story. We have made the decision to homeschool our 5 year old. He did not settle in school, lashing out at peers and disruptive behaviour. The final straw was attacking the staff. He is bright academically and I have no doubt in teaching him as I am a teacher myself. It is just other people’s comments that bring you down.
We have decided to homeschool our daughter next year, her kindergarten year. Out of the above, the one I have the most problem with is the criticism and raised eyebrows. Our family has not been very supportive (except for two aunts who are public school teachers). It has been hard to face such criticism and often leaves me angry or in tears. I am getting better in dealing with this but I still don’t understand what all the fuss is about. Why would I choose to homeschool if I thought it would hurt my child? How do I explain that God has pressed it on our hearts so strongly that we can’t say no?
Although we have our mind made up, there are days when I feel so scared about starting this journey. Thanks for this series! I think it will really help me!
@Morgan,
Morgan,
I’ve found that there are members of your family that will always feel the need to let you know the decisions you make for your family aren’t right. My husband’s family feels the need to tell me that I should let my husband support me and stay home with my children (even though I make almost twice what he does). My husband is incredibly supportive of my career and I have politely told my mother-in-law that as a family (me, husband and children) we have made the decision for me to work outside the home, the kids are well adjusted & independent so we are perfectly happy with our decision.
If you and your husband feel homeschooling is the right thing to do (and your kids are happy)I wouldn’t worry about what other’s say. I try to remember when I’m getting the lectures that my mother-in-law loves us and is just giving us the guidance she thinks we need, she’s not doing it to be mean and spiteful. It also helps to grit your teeth a bit when you’re getting the negative comments 🙂
@Morgan,
I felt the same way a year ago. Now, either my skin is thicker or I am more comfortable myself with hschooling our 6yr old son.
I think at first everything was so scary, new and exciting to me that I just wanted/needed people to support and accept our decision. That was not the case!
Something my husband and I learned this year like no other time in our lives, is that we only need to please Him, not our society, friends or even family members.
I also found a few hschooling blogs that I follow and have found them to be such a great support!