Loving Motherhood in an “I’m Bored Society”
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Our very modern world is full of all sorts of gadgets and distractions. Children of the television age, we can become programmed for needing something new and flashy every 60 seconds or so. And every mom has heard the whining refrain, “I’m bored.” And yet, as a mom, a few months ago, I found myself thinking the same thing.
Yet, how could I be bored when there’s so much to do? Upon further discussion with my sweet husband, we determined that it wasn’t boredom that plagued me.
No, I simply felt unmotivated.
Unmotivated to do the hard work.
Unmotivated to cook and clean day in and day out.
Unmotivated to push through.
Motherhood is a challenging profession. The rewards are great — but they are often sporadic or delated. And the “job” of motherhood is more than a relationship between mother and child. There are peripheral tasks involved.
Let’s face it. Unless you’ve got a nanny, a housekeeper, a chauffeur, and a chef, it’s hard to manage a home and family–and still keep a smile on your face. It’s hard to tackle the tasks involved. And sometimes those peripheral tasks can weigh us down.
It’s hard work, plain and simple. And sometimes, to use a Jane Austen phrase, I need to exert myself. I need to make the conscious decision to do what’s best for my family even if it’s uncomfortable. Experience has taught me that in the long run, that is also what’s best for me.
Consider the following scenarios:
— The kitchen’s a wreck. The kids are finally in bed. I can hit the hay or I can take 10 minutes to finish loading the dishes in the dishwasher and wipe the counters. Those little moments will help me start the new day with a clean slate.
— Cabin fever’s got me down. Why not pack a picnic and herd the kids to the car? An outing may take work, but a breath of fresh air and change of scenery — both literally and figuratively — will be good for all of us.
— The kids are at Gramma’s and I just have to run all those errands. Or do I? If I reexamine my list, I might find that quite a few aren’t absolutely necessary. In fact, a stop at a coffee shop by myself to read my Bible, to journal, to take a few minutes and refresh may be the perfect way to spend those moments out. Both me and my family will reap the rewards of a restful mom.
“Exerting yourself” may look different, depending on your personality and season of life. But, I would hazard a guess that you, too, face similar circumstances.
How can you bust out and push yourself to do the hard thing that will bless you and your family?
Consider these questions or ask your husband or a friend for perspective:
- What are your strengths?
- Where are you “overdoing” and need to rest?
- What areas are you ignoring and maybe need to give more attention?
It may be helpful to examine your priorities on paper. About once a month I revisit this worksheet which helps me think through these questions:
How do I want to grow? What are “the big rocks” in my life and how can I make sure they fit? How can I grow in loving my husband and children? What can I do to be a better wife and mother? To be a more peaceful woman?
Recording some goals in these areas helps me solidify my thinking and gives me a benchmark to refer back to.
There will always be dishes to wash and laundry to fold. But, embracing today, making good choices for me and my family, and refusing to be bored or unmotivated are important steps I can take in loving my husband, my children, and my life as mom.
I love your point-as moms are jobs are very challenging but we have to choose to view it this way and value our work.
Jana
What a great post and recommendations. While I know much of what you’ve written is for mothers and home makers with young children, I can assure you that even those of us who are in our middle years and moving toward an “empty nest” need to be reminded of these things as well. Thank you!
Wow I love this post. You know what I did today? On no sleep, after an amazingly emotional and busy day (First Communion!), after all the grocery shopping and cooking and cleaning, I decided enough was enough, my room was HORRIBLE and it was time to clean. I spend so much time cleaning the “public” areas of the house that my room is last on the list and never gets done. So after working all day in the house, I completely exhausted myself and spent a few hours on my room. Now I am ready to completely crash… but when I wake up, I get to wake up to a clean nice smelling room… and that will make my day so much better, and therefor my family’s day too! 🙂
Katherine
(My other sites are Pregnancy Tickers and a pet blog too.
I SO needed this today. Feeling overwhelmed, exhausted, and unmotivated. Thanks for a (cheerful) kick in the pants. 🙂
So glad that you posted this! I am relatively new to motherhood–one 2 year old boy and a baby girl due in June–but I was struggling with the I’m-bored-and-feeling-sorry-for-myself bit yesterday. I knew that I just wasn’t motivated to do any of the number of things that I could have been doing–Play Doh (or any activity!) with my son, another “clean out the clutter” segment (especially with a cross-country move coming up in August!), read some more of a book (especially since it’s a long one–The Well Trained Mind–that I have already renewed once from the library!), and any other number of projects that we currently have in the works in our home.
To my shame, when my son took his afternoon nap, I finally started a “clean out the clutter” segment on our computer desk, though I was pouting while working. By the end of it, I realized how selfish and unmotivated that I was being and how blessed I am. It took two hours of work to snap me out of myself! Well, at least I have a de-cluttered desk to show for it now…:)
Thanks, Jessica, for once again motivating me to do better! Yes, I was quite content to read blogs all morning, but after reading your post I got off my bum, did some laundry, made a nice lunch and took the kids outside to play in the sun for an hour and a half. They thank you as well! :0)
Thanks so much for this post!! There are so many days lately that I say “I didn’t accomplish anything today!!” I have to remind myself that feeding my children 3 meals a day, getting them off to school, making it to the gym 3 days a week and picking up the clutter around the house are all accomplishments. On the days when I’m feeling very unmotivated (which seem to happen a lot) I make a list of things that need to be done. Getting to cross things off the list is so much fun! There are times when I write something on the list that I’ve already done just so I can cross it off.
I struggle with giving myself the permission to just do nothing. I feel the pressure of if I don’t do it now it will still be waiting for me later. I need to find a way to enjoy doing nothing or doing something that doesn’t feel productive.
I’m getting ready to do a post on my blog about how behind I am with my coupon cutting, sorting and filing. I wanted to do it to show others that sometimes a break is needed and that once I get started it really won’t take that much time to get caught up. I am going to mention and link up to this post in mine. I think it’s important for mom’s to know that it’s okay to be unmovitated and happens to all of us.
@Becky, Some times, instead of making a to do list, I’ll make a list of the things I HAVE done. It helps me realize all I have accomplished in a day even if that’s just taking care of the kids, breastfeeding the baby, & taking a much needed nap.
What a great post! I am definitely using your priorities worksheet to help get mine in line. Thanks!
Thanks, Jessica. I’ve been feeling discontented lately without realizing that’s what was bothering me. Your post helped me to remember to do the hard things in order to build character in me and give my kids the right example. Thanks!
I really enjoyed this post.I have been to the doctor two times in the last month.I am 36 with children aged2,4,8&18.We homeschool and Iam a stay at home mom.I will not bore you with my health issues but the doctor said very plainly slow down get more rest or you are going to be flat on your back.Well I really want to homeschool so my husband and I said we would put this at the top of our priority list.I had really gotten carried away with saving on groceries and our power bill but like if you hurt your own health what savings is that.So for now I am using paperplates,using a little more boxed food and using my dryer.The doctor did say I was doing alot better the last time I went to him.What I am trying to say is pick what is the most important thing and go from there.