About the Tooth Fairy, the Easter Bunny, and Santa Claus
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photo source: Rise of the Guardians
While I think that I had a pretty good childhood, for one reason or another, I’ve chosen to do some things differently than my parents did. Oh, some things are the same: Sauerkraut and Pork, Ice Cubes and Christmas Trees, and Nanna’s Apple Pie.
Daughter of not one, but TWO public school teachers, I kinda jumped ship when I decided to teach my kids at home. And then there’s that whole thing about the Tooth Fairy, the Easter Bunny, and Santa Claus.
We don’t do those here.
Please, please, PLEASE do not take offense. I don’t think it’s bad if you do. We just chose something different.
Worrying about the Tooth Fairy, the Easter Bunny, and Santa Claus.
I did, however, stress about this major big time for the first seven years of parenting. STRESS. MAJOR. BIG. TIME.
I felt pressure from many different sides as I went back and forth in my thinking about the issue of Santa and his other mythological buddies. And a couple years ago, I even asked my eldest if he felt cheated that he’d never had an Easter basket. He just laughed.
Apparently not.
I bring this up NOT to convince anyone to my point of view or to justify my own position. I bring this up for several reasons:
- I know other young moms are like me 10 or 15 years ago, wondering what to do. (I’m guessing some folks have never thought to do otherwise than what they’ve always done.)
- I think we’re all big girls here and can share our reasons without getting in a cat fight. (Please don’t prove me wrong on that.)
- Folks still deciding can benefit from hearing a variety of perspectives in a non-confrontational way
Every December and March, I think about talking about this, but I know those months are too heated to have a discussion about it. But, July? Yeah, we can talk and share what we do, encourage someone else, and (hopefully) not feel judged that someone else does something different. Right?
So, I’ll tell my story and you can tell yours in the comments. 😉
Why we do what we do:
In a nutshell, here’s our basic reasons.
Santa: As a young Christian in my teens, I saw in my own thinking a confusion between God and Santa. God would only give me something I wanted if I was good enough. I know that’s not true, but I struggled for years with those assumptions. For me, it was better not to “play Santa” and to avoid any confusion between the myth and the Maker.
We do stockings and presents, but our kids know the presents are from us, purchased with funds that God gave us.
The Easter Bunny: I consider Easter to be the most important Christian holiday, representing Jesus’ sacrifice on the cross in payment of my sins. Yes, I know it falls on the pagan holiday honoring a fertility goddess, symbolized by a rabbit. I get that.
But again, to avoid confusion as to what we were celebrating, we opted out of “da Bunny”. We do eggs as a talking point about new life, and we do lots of things to prepare for Easter, but we don’t do Easter baskets.
The Tooth Fairy: I honestly have no idea why we never instituted the Tooth Fairy tradition. We jest about her. She’s a big spender at our house.
We do Santa here. I plan on tackling the Santa isn’t real the same way my father did. When I figured it out, and wasn’t crushed by the way, dad and I opened up the Encyclopedia (wow do those even exist anymore lol) and looked up the story of Saint Nicholas. We discussed why the tradition was started and why we continue it. We also only ever got small things from Santa. Same for my girls. Santa does not bring the big gifts, EVER. He brings small dollar tree type things.
We really don’t do the Easter Bunny and it’s not because of some preference or other, it really boils down to I just plain forget about it. Easter isn’t a holiday to me, it’s a celebration of Christ. I even forget to do the whole egg thing most years.
Oh the tooth fairy…she visits here. Although I think the oldest is slowly catching on my youngest is a firm believer in her and I can’t break her heart like that.
I’m not worried about either of them being crushed or feeling lied to. Mainly because of the active imaginations they have. For the longest my youngest believed (all on her own no matter what we said to the contrary) that Sonic the Hedgehog was real. I finally got her to believe he isn’t and she huffed and said okay, then smiled and said she can pretend he’s real.
In the end, for us, that’s what these holiday characters are about, pretending, imagination, childhood dreams, wishes, hopes and a touch of childhood magic.
I’ve always wondered though, when did this issue become an issue. I don’t remember my parents or other parents fretting about this when I was a kid (20 some odd years ago) Now days though it seems like it’s a huge fad to forgo the childhood fantasies, which is up to each person and that’s cool. I just wonder if it’s a new thing or something that’s been going on for generations.
My family has strong traditions surrounding Christmas & Easter that include observing advent and lent, family get togethers, special foods, decorating the house and – as I like to think of it – playing the Santa and Easter Bunny game. For us keeping those games low key and fun spirited worked for us (all my kids are 16 and older). Some of their gifts were from Santa and we’d read the night before Christmas and put out cookies – but no visits to store Santa’s (who were always identified by me to my kids as actors helping with the Christmas spirit) or putting the primary focus of the holiday on Santa or receiving gifts. I tried to make the Christmas Spirit about giving with joy because we can and it’s fun.
I specifically avoided stressing Santa’s actual visit because at least one of my nieces found the idea that a strange man would come into the house very disturbing! Her mom quickly clued her in that it was a game of pretend. For me games of pretend are for fun and have flexible rules for those who don’t want to play. I try NOT to lie to my kids and the Santa/Easter Bunny thing never felt like a lie my parents told me or one that I told my kids. My sense is that our playful attitude about these traditions – very much like the many other games of pretend (tea parties, trips to the moon, pirate wars in the pool) we played made them aware at some level that it always was pretend.
When the kids got older they each at some point asked me to confirm that we were Santa – which we did. At that point they got to be in on the other part of the game – what I called an elf – which meant helping select some stocking stuffers for their siblings, wrap gifts and help set things up once the younger ones were in bed. They have told me that they were a bit disappointed when they stopped believing, but I’m fairly certain that they’ve had much larger and more character shaping disappoints in their lives – like when I stopped doing their laundry – for example!
Since we are all so different it seems completely understandable to me that if a “tradition” was not fun for you, or feels like a burden or a lie then it is NOT something you want to continue. Santa, the Easter Bunny and the tooth fairy are NOT the meat and potatoes of childhood – they are more like sprinkles on the cupcake. Some people like them – some don’t. Love those kids up in your own way!
I am curious as my kids have kids what they will do, but honestly it is not important to me whether they decide to play these games with their kids or not – I’m just looking forward to being a grandparent ; )
we are far from being part of any religion, but we do explain some of it(hubby grew up catholic). Obviously, we are big into the holidays.
We do all three but with a 10 y/o and a 6 y/o who ask questions. They are figuring it out slowly, on their own. I don’t plan on “telling” them. When they ask about it, I simply tell them when they stop “believing” in Santa (Easter Bunny or tooth fairy), then Santa (etc) doesn’t bring you a present. “Do you want a present from Santa?” “Yes.”
I feel we’ve got Easter down pretty good with emphasis on Christ. The Easter Bunny fills the baskets on Saturday morning (a little candy and misc things they need – this year that includes a toothbrush) so that Easter Sunday is all about Christ.
Christmas is a mix. We always read Luke 2 on Christmas Eve or Christmas morning. Periodically throughout the day (and the whole month of December) , I’ll throw out the question – why are we celebrating Christmas? Who’s birthday is it? What can we give to Jesus in honor of his birthday?
And our girls have learned that the tooth fairy assigned to our house is VERY forgetful and it may take several days for her to make it here.
Thank you for sharing on this! Our family is pretty much in the same camp as you are on Easter and Christmas and it was never a big deal until we moved into a subdivision with a neighbor that was an over-the-top Santa and Easter bunny/basket/egg hunt enthusiast. The “i have a picture of him on my roof” kind of enthusiast that frankly confused my then 7 year old who thought I had been holding out on her all these years by not tell her Santa is real. I struggle through December and in the spring when we are around these neighbors because of this which I hate. We incorporate Santa stories at Christmas and have favorite movie that include him, but he is just a loveable tradition, much like when we read about St. Patrick (a real man!) in March and then have the fun traditions of green and Lucky Charms cereal, etc. For Easter, we color eggs, make crafts with butterflies but like you, all from the vantage of demonstrating the new life we have in Christ which is where my focus should be more often.
As for the tooth fairy. We have never done that because I can’t seem to stay awake to remember to put money under my kids’ pillows. It’s never happened except for the time one of my girls woke me up at about 3am because I forgotten to do it. I just can’t remember!
My husbands family was pretty into Santa. Mine mentioned it sometimes, I think, but I don’t ever remember believing so I must have given it up pretty young. But we do have lots of pics of me crying on Santas lap. We have done all three but in a low key way and in such a way that the kids early on figured out that they were just fun characters much like tv characters or super heros. I would say that Santa was probably held on to the longest of any of them by the kids but even then they figured that out pretty young also. We watch the movies and specials for fun but I have also now included reading about St. Nicholas so that they have that background info. We love learning about Christmas traditions from other times/ cultures but focus both Christmas and Easter around Jesus. Perhaps because we did it pretty low key to begin with, no one seemed upset or scarred by learning these figures did not exist. My son said he was slightly disappointed when he figured out Santa b/c he knew that we had a much smaller budget than Santa! LOL We have made sure to emphasize that our kids do not tell other children so that they don’t ruin other families’ fun.
The “tooth fairy” in our house is well known to fall asleep early and forget to do her “job”. My oldest lost his last baby tooth earlier this week and jokingly said “So you think the tooth fairy will remember to get my last tooth tonight or should I just bring it down with me in the morning?” I just laughed and said the tooth fairy is old and tired and she just might forget! This time the tooth fairy sent Mr. Tooth Fairy in and he left the money but forgot the tooth!
I am so glad to hear from someone else everything we do and believe. We homeschool, too. We catch all kinds of flack for not doing Santa from my family, but for us, we want our kids to know that Jesus is real and we will never tell them anything that is not true. We felt convicted of this so we went with our convictions. We both grew up with Santa and are no worse for the wear, but still felt it the right thing to do not to present him as real. We talk about him and who Saint Nicholas was. We even go as far as to say that that is a game some people play and we just choose not to play it, so don’t ruin it for other kids and we make it our little “secret”. We do stockings as well and gifts too, but like you, they know that they are from mom and dad. We try to focus on the giving part rather than the getting part.
As far as the Easter bunny goes, it is absolutely a non issue in this house and we think the bunny is just silly. If you ask my kids about the Easter bunny they would probably look at you and say “who??” LOL! Oh, we dye eggs and have the resurrection eggs that tell the Easter story and even hunt for eggs, but getting an Easter basket… just don’t care. I don’t judge others for doing those things, but in the last year or so I have let go of the “guilt” of not participating in the things in which we have felt convicted.
Thanks for your post! Reassuring to hear someone else does the same thing 🙂
My husband and I feel that by doing Santa and the others we are lying to our children. Will they then question whether God is real? We’ve opted out of all of them and my kids haven’t missed anything. They know the true reason for the holidays and that is what’s important – God.
THANK YOU!!! We are also one of those *crazy families* that doesn’t do any of those things ! BTW we don’t do Halloween either LOL. Yes, we are extreme!
We worried about the lying to our kids. If they find out we are lying about Santa, Easter Bunny, Tooth Fairy, Ect. How will they feel about God? They can’t “see” him so how do they know we are telling the Truth about him? And will it hurt the trust our kids feel with us? That is why we decided what we would do before we ever had children. We wanted to be on the same page from day one. My husband grew up in a very religious home, no Christmas, easter, ect. They didn’t even have birthday parties! I grew up with it all, but I didn’t want my kids as spoiled or delusional as I was. So in the middle is where we lay. Birthdays are big, but not huge. And we do Christmas but since our kids are the youngest in my family and this only ones in my Husband’s, no one minds not “doing santa”. Well my Sister minds but she can get over it 😉 We also celebrate Easter as Jesus’s resurrection not as a bunny with a basket. And we never did the tooth fairy. I’ve always said “Bring me a tooth I’ll give you a dollar”.