Chores for Toddlers & Preschoolers
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Anyone who has been a parent longer than three days is by this time exhausted. It’s hard work when the life of another person rests in your hands. You are responsible for making sure he is fed, clothed, and safe. And, of course, your task goes beyond just basic physical needs. There’s the fun part of loving and cuddling and teaching him about the world.
Oh, and teaching him what it is to be a responsible human being.
Hopefully, you and I are acting in ways that are a good example of that. Most of the time.
Learning through practice
But there’s also that bit about giving your child opportunities to practice. Most of us learn through hands-on experience and practice. So, it makes sense that as our children move through the different stages of development that we give them opportunities to practice different life skills.
- cleaning up after themselves
- making the bed
- folding towels
- wiping windows and counters
While I know all this in my head, I am sometimes hesitant to assign a task to a younger child for fear he will mess it up and I’ll just have to do it again anyway. In those instances, I’ve either made more work for myself or for one of my older children. As a former oldest child in a large family, I know what a bummer this is.
Why do I have to do everything?
And for some odd reason, we firstborns all started pulling our own weight at a much younger age than our siblings. When I was his age…. (You know the drill.)
Find the youngest capable person
Years ago I heard a parenting and homeschooling speaker suggest that you delegate tasks to the youngest child who can tackle the job, whatever that task is.
If you need a new diaper for the baby, ask the toddler, not the teenager to go get it. If you need someone to take out the trash, find the youngest, able bodied person to do the job. If the counters need to be wiped, assign the task to the shortest person who can still reach the counter top.
This has been a wonderful reminder to me not to relegate my older children to more tasks than they need to do as well as a great challenge to consider what my younger people are really capable of.
I still need (or prefer) to do a lot of things myself, but learning to delegate tasks to my children helps them and me. And if I’m remembering to teach the littler kids, we all benefit.
More Toddler Tips
What works for you?
Leave a comment below and let us know what works for you.
For some reason, mine love packing each other’s lunches, which includes asking what the packer wants, filling the drink, getting out the baggies, the whole shebang. My oldest has autism so she can’t let someone pack her lunch for fear of the smells on their hands transferring to her food, but she will happily pack someone else’s.
We just started am & pm chore cards for our son, he’s almost 4. He loves them and they are very simple 4 for both am & pm. Brush teeth, put dirty laundry in hamper, make the bed etc. That’s upstairs. Downstairs no matter what we’ve tried we can’t get him to pick up after himself. Sometimes it looks like his toy chest exploded all over the living room. We are currently on the “waiting” list to adopt and cannot handle the mess with an infant too. We’ve even thought about taking ALL his toys away.
I’ve packed at least half my sons toys away because I couldn’t stand the “explosion” 🙂 And it’s easier for him to not feel overwhelmed in cleaning them up. I’ve also seen the Mommy ransom box on pinterest….toys left out at the end of the day get put in the box by Mom, and they don’t come out until a certain task is performed.
I couldn’t agree more. You definitely have to “let” the youngest children do things to help–how else will they learn? The other comment about the oldest ending up doing too much, we’ve realized that and have really pulled back and only have him do tasks that the other kids simply can’t do by virtue of their size (mowing, putting up the shade tent, testing the pool chemicals, etc).
Well, my kids are 2 1/2 and 5 months, so they’re both considered the “youngest” in terms of this post and handing out chores. (Obviously I don’t give the baby anything to do yet.)
This is actually something I’ve been working on recently after reading Stephanie O’Dea’s “Totally Together” book in which she writes that we are raising children to be adults, not children, and it’s OK to give them things to do.
I’ve been making a more concerted effort to give my 2 1/2-year-old specific tasks to do that fit into our routine. He doesn’t do any of them alone but will eventually (I hope). Right now, he
– helps empty the dishwasher (plastics in the cupboard, spoons in the drawer)
– puts dirty diapers (disposable) in the diaper pail (we have a Diaper Champ and he LOVES turning the handle)
– uses a spray bottle with water and a rag to “clean” while I’m scrubbing the floor/fridge/etc.
– wipes down the walls of the shower while he’s in there (I never told him to do this…he just does it on his own!)
– helps get the mail in the afternoon
– helps pick up his toys at night
– puts his dirty clothes in the hamper
and we’re working on folding laundry (matching socks, etc.), rinsing dishes and a few other things. He is so eager to please and so willing to help out right now. I know it won’t last, so that’s why I’m working on things with him now.
Thanks for the post (and sorry I wrote a book in this comment)!
I love that I do this is reinforced. I find that when I ask my four year old grandson to do these things that my two year old grandson is also at the ready to be helpful!
Carrie
What a great tip – finding the youngest person who can do the job. My youngest is 2 and it’s hard to remember that she can help out too. It’s certainly quicker to ask the big kids to help, but it’s such important training for her. Yesterday I gave her a wad of baby wipes and she spent 10 minutes delightfully wiping down a dusty stroller that we found in the garage. She was happily occupied for ten whole minutes (a blessing!) and she was so pleased to be helping Mommy.
There’s only one kid in our household (and it will likely stay that way) but I am always looking for tasks for her to take on because she loves being included. She’s nearly 3 so it’s a bit deal to get to do the parent stuff — and some of it she’s already really good at. Participating in the cooking, helping with laundry, cleaning up her toys — those are all things she already really enjoys doing 🙂
I’ve never thought of assigning tasks to the youngest able-bodied child before, but that really makes sense. Thanks for sharing that.
I laughed when I saw the spray bottle because we use that brand, too!
I always try to spread out the “task love” to make sure all the kids have an opportunity to help out. If there’s a spray bottle involved, everyone is THERE.
The kids also love to help in the kitchen, and I think they’ve learned to use a knife much earlier than most kids as a result.
At this point, I think my oldest actually has the fewest homekeeping skills because he was the only child for 7 years, and I didn’t think about the importance of training him.
Finding the youngest capable child for a task is what we do and it works. It’s especially helpful when handing out tasks for the day or a quick house-wide cleanup. We hand out tasks to the youngest ones first and then by the end, whatever nobody else can handle is what gets left to the oldest. It ends up working out pretty even.